Strangely Less Unwilling

Strangely less unwilling to get out of bed and go to sch todae... maybe it's coz i know exactly wat i hv to do todae, and for the next few days. maybe also partly coz for the past 2 days, i've been able to do wat has been planned. more or less.

In chronological order -
Todae: blog this, go lecture, do last remaining tutorial, go flunk quiz, come back lib to print notes for 2 quizzies next wk, go comex check out monitors, mice, desktops n SLR cameras, go home run min. 6 km, watch child of our time n lost.

Tml: collect FYP data, do FYP, go tutorial, do more FYP, meet squid for dinner.

Sat: go out with adsports2, go grandma's birthday dinner, watch dude where's my car. (hahha i know its a fricking dumb show... but i like ;-P) send happie birthdae sms to gin.

Sun: meet yx & jo for lunch, run min. 6 km w misa (i'm running, she'll be watching, egging me on and irritating me nearby), watch friends season 2 at nite. send happie birthdae sms to qz.

guess i like to know wat i'll be doing, and will be more eager to do stuff that way. that's y i always like to plan my schedule... so u always see that slim black book w me. without it i'd be absolutely lost, not only on wat i'm supposed to be doing in the near future, but most prob i'd forget wat i'm supposed to do rite now. need to constantly hv things on my plate, coz when i feel got nothing to do, i cn gt so nua tt i just stay in bed all day, see tv, play pc, n dun even bother 2 type blog prprly.....

but in doing stuff, i don't need to do stuff with frens, in fact if not purely for hanging out, i do most things better alone, esp things that need effort on a personal level; i just need to concentrate on the stuff i'm doing.

y am i running so much? 12km a wk? coz i joining stanchart 10km run... CS jio-ed me abt a mth ago, and since i had been running 10km per week to prepare for YEP, was thinking y not push a bit harder? good preparation for my yr-end trip also. so decided on it last wk and signed up on sunday.

speaking abt my yr-end trip... gotta start planning soon. oops... late for lecture liao.

note to self: todae after comex go look for guidebook!

Supposed to be Studying Part 2

Not easy to get a table in the Lib these days,
even though not even 1 week break yet.
Y? coz the lib full of Fricking Chinamen!
surprisingly, i'm starting to be able to tell individuals apart from their kind
remember some faces from last sem
with their chinamen faces, remember their chinamen whispering
LOUD whispering. 1st time i hear.
and they're everywhere...
wanted to settle down on a table... looked ard and to both sides, there were stinking chinamen.
settled in a cubicle instead.
went to toilet, found some idiotic chinawoman at the staircase eating pear.
she already had another pear core in her other hand.
fricking hell! go outside and eat lah! u think this is that fricking kunming university isit?
actually, if she mistook this place for it, i wldn't be surprised either.
even rite now, got 2 chinamen talking next to me on the computers.
frick man... did i even leave that horrible chinaman kunming university?
or did we bring it back with us?
or we never needed to "visit" it in the 1st place?

i wanna get out of here... i wanna go back singapore... with singaporean chinese, malay, indian, and all others except noisy, loud, disgusting, selfish, inconsiderate, rude chinamen.

who says we hv ugly singaporeans? come to NTU. we singaporeans are angels.

Supposed To Be Studying

Got a quiz tml - fricking heat transfer.
supposed to be studying, but slacking instead.
playing games n msn.
Zow requested for an entry, so here it is!
wanted to write a poem abt this,
but i realised a rushed poem wld be sucky.
so i shall just type like this,
instead of a paragraph,
so it looks like a poem anyway.
think i shd go study now,
got 3 tutorials to do,
by tml afternoon.
and it's already 5pm.
siao liao...
3 tutorials only, very difficult meh?
yes if
a) it's an engineering subject
b) i'm the one doing it
gimme 3 psychology tutorials anyday!
or task me to write 3 blog entries!
or produce 3 nice photographs!
or take down 3 UFOs in XCom - UFO: Enemy Unknown! (computer game lah)
but dun gimme a engineering tutorial to do!

looks like i'll be stuck here til library closes. but since got so much time... might as well play game. hahahahahha

Thinking Out Of The Box Abt Chickens

Currently Playing: I Don't Like Mondays by Boomtown Rats

Was having lunch at fried chicken fast food place coz i got coupons... Saw a advert for their O.R. fillet burger - noticed that the chicken was a nice regular rectangular shaped slab, and thot "since when did they make chickens liddat?"

Then, i looked down at the fried chicken in my bandito pocket... it was also a rectangular slab; just like the one in my zinger last week. (OK OK i've been eating a bit too much fastfood. but that's not the pt here.) Oh no... do they really make chickens liddat now???

Remember that earlier email hoax/urban legend abt the restaurant growing "chicken parts" instead of chickens? alleged whole rows & rows of genetically grown thighs, wings, drumsticks, etc... Have they taken that idea and gone 1 step further - just growing "chicken slabs"???

It could be like the earlier internet hoax "Kitten in a jar" except that this wld be "chicken in a box". chickens being forced in and grown into a box/slab shape... then once full, just pop it open and fry the bugger!

hahahahha of coz u all know this isn't true... ( i dun wanna get sued) but think abt it... wldn't it be interesting? restaurants and homemakers all over wld be using "chicken in a box" instead of regular chicken... and if i set this up, i wld be rich!! Why? bcoz...

a) being in regular slabs, the chickens wld stack very well and packing them wld be easy, and transports, warehouses, freezers wld hv no wasted space!

b) no more trying to squeeze 16 thighs, drumsticks, and esp wings, and other irregularly shaped parts in 1 bucket... just present them in a 4x4 box!! like mooncake liddat!!

c) restaurant frontline staff no longer need to contend with fussy customers anymore... no more plump guy with coupons from newspaper demanding he wants "all thighs" or stick-thin girl asking for "all wings" or stinky spoilt little brat screaming he/she wants "all drumstick". "Sorry sir/madam, we only got "all slabs". u wan original or crispy?"

Wow!! this could be a world-changing breakthru! actually useful uses for genetic engineering!! This wld only be the 1st step... next in line wld be "Cow in a patty" or "Fish in a sashimi"!!

Any top food company executives out there? reply to me quickly to gain on this remarkable business idea! "Chicken in a box", anyone? ;-)

Day of Nightmares!

Currently Playing: I Just Wanna Live by Good Charlotte

Slept til 1130am this morning... but before waking up kena plagued by nightmares... probably started abt 9am...

Nightmare 1: NIE Biathlon
Was considering joining it... then decided against it coz i dun think i'd like to run in wet, tight shorts... Major OUCH. abrasion such chialat chialat. So i dreamt i was back in hall... then every fricking door i passed hung a sign "Finisher - NIE Biathlon" or "3rd - NIE Biathlon" or something liddat... every fricking door except mine!!! aaarrggghhh...

It's not abt peer pressure... but it's the thot of if others can do it, y can't i? but i still dun wanna kena abrasions... most prob won't go for the biathlon but will try to match the distances by myself. And will be signing up for StanChart 10km tonite!

Nightmare 2: SCDF & SAF
Somehow, dreamt that i was riding an SCDF vehicle... dunno whether was part of them of being rescued. hahaha. but we (dunno who were with me, but they were ppl i knew) were on some kinda HUGE empty platform out and high up at sea... then we got out of the vehicle and had to climb down this long hanging ladder... now surprisingly, the height didn't scare me coz i was thinking can just drop into the sea...

then i realised, i needed my SAF things!! dunno y. then all my SAF stuff are in the old house, and i lost my SAF card like... 4 yrs ago? and nv bothered to replace it. was thinking die liao die liao... got totally nothing, totally not prepared at all....

then i woke up. once was bad enuff, but twice? 2 nightmares? esp the last one... i lay awake, stunned for a while, wondering if i really needed to go back SAF, thinking where my things were... then remembered i hvn't got any letter or anything yet. whew. decided enuff was enuff... time to wake up.

i really hope they nv call me back, although VJ told me it's all computerised now, no escaping, no losing of documents & records. Sianz... hated my NS life, hated the regimen, the 24hr duties, the backside covering, the rank pulling, the NSF bullying by regulars, the bengs, the red tape, the "discipline", the endless forms, and almost everything abt the army. i hope i nv hv to go back.

hmm... maybe to escape, i cld stay longer in sch.... hahhahahah

An Astounding Discovery!

Been getting complains abt lack of updates from my fans... demanding ones even bemoan the lack of quality entries... OK LAH! here's one. think i spoil u guys too much.

Apologies if i had dissed chinamen earlier, there is a reason for their boorish behaviour! I happened to stumble upon a little red book which some blur chinaman freshie left behind at the canteen this wk, and curiously opened it. Astounding! It had English translations and was titled "Little Red Book for Comrades Who Are In Nantah" I have some excerpts below:

"Prease, if you are a the lecturer, direct all your words to the projector. They lonely as they are alone in the lecture halls for the rest of the day."

"Prease, if you are using projector transparencys, print smaller words. This is to discourage students from our host country to get short-sighted, which is a large problem in the country."

"Prease, if you are speaking outside, be as loud as possible. The person whom you are speaking to will hear you better as the host country is a crowded one.

"Prease, if you are addressing a group of students in the classroom, be as quiet as possible. This is to discourage students from speaking at the same time."

"Prease, if you are in the library, speak in a higher pitch. In host country, this is called whispering. There is no need to adjust the volume of your speaking."

"Prease, if you are in the library and local students ask you to remove your bag/book/notes/file from another table, firmly tell them that they are subscribing to the evil ideas of dirty western capitalists. The library is for use by the people and for use by the people who come here first. Chairman Mau, he say, do not care whether it is a bag, or a book, or a notes, or a file; if it can chope a seat in the library, it is a good instrument of study."

"Prease, if you are having a bowl of soup noodles, it is courtesy to eat as loudly as possible. This is courtesy to the noodle hawker so that other patrons will know that the noodles are delicious."

"Prease, if you are encountered by a local student, it is not necessary to say please or thank you, or have unnecessary conversation. They are the subcribers of evil western capitalism and we must not hear about such evil ideas! If you see any comrades who are hearing the evil ideas, inform our party officials immediately! The officials are among the students and lecturers, and will make efforts to quickly educate the stray comrade."

Now u know y they liddat liao lah... cannot blame them. they must hv their CCP ppl everywhere watching their every move.... poor buggers.

Update on Adsports5

For those who are interested, here's an email exchange i had with the current ATC head, Kawei. it seems that Adsports has been relegated... but it is no longer for us to worry or get worked up about... just be happy that we made a difference in Adsports, as it made a difference to us. ;-)
=================================================================
From: Xunster!
Subject: How is Adsports?
Date: Fri, 26 Aug 2005 00:07:33 +0800 (CST)

Hi Jiawei,

I don't think we've met, I'm Xun, from Adsports 2001/02 & 2002/03. I've been hearing lao jiaos talk abt the AGM and such events, and out of curiosity, I wld like to ask some questions... hope u dun mind answering an old man's queries.

- since u r now the "ATC Head", is there still an Adsports subcomm? Who is the Adsports head? Is Adsports now under ATC?
- will be there a connection between ATC comm and Adsports?
- wat will Adsports be doing? will there still be local activities and courses?

Maybe u could give me an overall view of wat Adsports & ATC comms will be like this coming year? Thanx a lot...

Xun
==================================================================
Tan Ka Wei wrote:

YoZ!
This year, ATC and Adsports will be a different committee. ATC comm will only be in charge of ATC and the planning whereas Adsport(Facilitated by>Steven and Jessica from main comm).
In Adsports, they will be in charged of organising kayaking clinics, rock climbing and off road cycling for the school's population.
In ATC this year, we will be dedicated to run the program as well as a new event thats coming up, joinly organised by pumpfest and ATC comm. Its a race for kid age 11-16 from Peoples' Asociation, and this race is some sort of pre ATC preparation thing for our comm. Anyway, hope u seniors will be coming back to help us out this year ya? Any problem updated me k!

Regards,
Kawei
===================================================================
From: Xunster!

Hi,
thanx for replying. so who are Steven and Jessica? ie. wat posts do they
hold? how many ppl are in the adsports comm?

Xun
=================================================================
Tan Ka Wei wrote:

Yo,Steven is the current biz mag and Jessica is the Webmaster. Tentatively, there will be around 6people in it. :)

Kawei

Finally an FYP Reading After 5 Mths!

Well... the previous entry sorta helped me bring out my thots and made me realise i shd start working... so for all who read n left their comments of encouragement, thanx a lot.

missed all lessons, but managed to tinker a bit with the simulation and took a reading after 5 mths of procrastinating! can't believe it's been that long. standing at roadside for 1 hr is tiring... not to mention so many ppl walking by wondering wat u doing, breathing over ur shoulder... irritating.

came back home and compiled the data.. of 700+ vehicles. so shack... think tml i shall take another break... ahhaha just kidding. will not take another reading coz it's too draining... but will still pop by the lab, maybe go for a lecture.

late liao... need to sleep.

Note to Self: this isn't enuff! gotta cover more ground! *crack whip*

Inertia? Or Plain Laziness?

Currently Playing: Drone of the Oscillating Fan Which Irritates Misa Everytime We Tok on the Phone

Apologies, this isn't an upbeat entry. May be one of the reasons i'm so sian lately.

Didn't go to school yesterday, due to migraine.

Still had a slight headache 7am this morning, decided to sleep more, and leave for sch at 1030 for 1230 lecture.

Guess wat? it's 1035 now. And i don't wanna leave. Lately I only go to school when forced to take the car with brother and father.

Wat's the pt of going lectures? the old men don't hold my attention; the only things that keep me awake when they read the notes out loud are SMSes and daydreaming. Even if i wanna follow them, once i start seriously thinking abt some part of the notes, i look up and i realise i've lost them. i cover the notes faster and clearer by myself, i don't need an old man reading them to me like a bedtime story.

Wat's the pt of going tutorials? i only go coz gotta sign attendance, and now dun need liao. nowadays i can buy the tut answers at the library, or borrow from frens. detest furiously copying tiny equations blindly, so wat for when i can get the same outcome by other means?

The problem is, i hvn't been reading my notes or doing my tutorials, even though i planned to start last week. and dread going to school. so fricking far... and doesn't hv anything interesting for me there.

Used to think my FYP was interesting, fun, practical. Lately i've just been sitting at a computer trying to figure out how to programme parameters on components on simulation software. so interesting, fun and practical that i fall asleep at the desk everyday (that i'm there). Feel like an idiot standing at the junction furiously jotting down traffic details too.

I know i gotta read my notes, do my tutorials, programme my simulation and record my data, all by 2 mths time. but sometimes it seems so much that i dunno where to start. and the thot that 2 mths is a long time isn't helping.

I'm procrastinating ending my procrastination. Ultimate.

At least i know that there is a problem. So i shall humble myself... this is a cry for help. Pls encourage me to work on my studies, this final round.
Tell me this is the last time, the last chance, and i shall never touch engineering again.
Tell me time is running short... My draft report is due End Sept, final report due End Oct, Exams in Nov. I will be able to let go of everything and play in Dec.
Tell me you want me to do well and clear this sem, and that i cannot let u down. Let me know you care, coz i rather to do difficult things for others more than for myself.

Just pls don't nag or use negative, sarcastic, scolding tones... coz if so i'll do the exact opposite of wat u ask.

I wanna clear everything, but knowing that i'm fighting this alone is demoralising, more than ever before. Help me out, guys.

Food Review: Carl Jr's

Went to Marina Bay for dinner, tried out the new burger joint. Had the double bacon cheeseburger combo.

Fries: Pretty normal. Saving grace was the sauce u get at the self-dispensing containers. Try others besides the usual chilli & ketchup. Be adventurous and u'll be rewarded!

Burger: BIG... like a double whopper... but that's only for the meat portion. Just the right amount, but it was sorely lacking in veggies or sauce... tasted nice and meaty but felt dry. had to use chilli sauce to moisten the dry bread and the hidden onion rings. Fair amount of oil for a burger...

Overall Verdict: Carl Jr's is not bad, but might not last in SG coz
1) burgers might be too big and not appealing to most locals... i understand i may be an exception. of coz, i only tried one burger... but fren & fren's fren tried also... complain dry.
2) it provides FREE FLOW of sauces, serviettes, cutlery, and DRINKS!!! sure lose money in SG!! hahaha

Desert: went to Swensen's! they now having special offer... most of their ala-carte ice creams (except earthquake and the expensive >$10 ones) are $4++!! (not counting service & GST) faster go WHACK!!

The Logic of Emotions (Leeched from Gnowxela)

I'm actually writing this entry in response to my friend's blog, coz i'm blogging too much on others' blogs. "dog" refers to me.

"That being said, its just one example that if something bothers you...
pls, as a friend let me know. That is unless you don't trust me. I've always
appreciated when dog would tell me things that he thinks I should improve, or do
otherwise. Like sending out multiple short SMSes wastes money and irritates him.
so I try to send LONGER smses... when possible of course. When I was drifting
away from Adsports2 in the beginning, so dog approached me with ZZ as a
facilitator, (things got abit rough then btn us yah... ), and we kinda resolved
it, and I'm glad I did, because otherwise I would not have this great group of
friends."

hahah bro, that time, i wasn't letting u know as a trusting fren... i let u know coz it was irritating the hell out of me!! SMS or Adsports2? BOTH!! hahahah

"You know what really bothers me sometimes.... when I ask friends about something and they don't say! Pretend nothing is wrong, everything is fine. Don't wear masks with me if you are friendz... I cannot take it one. (....) I can't live with a lie... no matter how beautiful it is. True, Transparency is one of the pillars of any relationship. Believe or not, one can always sense the sincerity, the level of closeness of a relationship, if its faked. I know I'm horrible at faking it. If I'm not happy with someone.... that fella will know.... right dog? (....) Don't decieve ourselves and live on
with something that isn't real. Pls... give me a Sad reality.... so that I can move on and change it! Not sure what you think... but its life... live it real."

heh... i agree with wat u say... anyone i not happie with will know also! well i believe truth is good... as long as it's real (or perceived by general concensus) can take steps to turn sad into happy! but also sometimes, some things are better left unsaid coz u know it'll blow over and things will be back to normal. no need to kick up a big fuss over everything.. esp within good frens! if u do need to show displeasure or teach a little lesson, do it subtlely so no one's feelings get hurt... when ppl get hurt, natural reaction is to hurt back. if anything causing unhappiness, just discuss quietly with those in the know can liao...

"what is the use of being a gentleman when you are not happy?"

Ah... well it is of plentiful use... doesn't it impress more when u can still be civil when u're angry? coz civil = cool & level headed, shows u're thinking straight, compared to the red-faced buffoon hurling vulgarities at u. one look of disdain and a sharp thrust of a retort is all u need.

"Alot of other people.... well... I can live no matter what kinda of ingrates
they are.... doesn't matter to me you see... coz they aren't important. Those
are are important... well... we'll work it out...."

agreed. life is too short to waste any time on those who are insignificant... and there are plenty. shd spend more quality time with those who r!

Looking Up

Currently Playing: None. Rushing to upload this post before access gets cut like last time!

Well... got comments that my entries the past wk weren't too happy sounding... guess the week wasn't too fun... but things are looking up

Spent largely the whole wkend at home... only went out twice on Sat nite: driving Mum to aunt's place and having dinner, threesome (zz, squid & i) meeting up for supper... the threesome supper was quite fun... makes me wonder y we dun have it more often... maybe coz adsports always hv demand for supper...

At home mostly spent sleeping... but needed to recharge anyway. thot i'd be bored, but actually it was good to laze away a wkend for once. past wkends hv been cycling to ubin, taking photos, meeting frens, meeting relatives, nite cycling, etc.

But time is running fast away... actually planned last wk shd start studying and piahing fyp... but neither carried out. only fyp slowly making progress... but get so sleepy in lab... maybe shd start sleeping early...

So, dear readers, if my quality of blogs start dropping, less commentaries and more gripes, hope u guys dun mind... hopefully i will hv less time to form opinions abt current affairs (is that a good thing?) and spend more time on fyp and studies. sianz... but hopefully this is the last time... then no more farking engineer for me liao... 4.5 yrs is more than enuff of my life.

Note to Self: Work Hard on FYP n Studies! How many this kind of reminders liao?

A Blog Worthy Of A Visit

I dun usually touch on this kinda topic... but it really makes you realise how badly serious things can get... more impactful from "1st hand experience" than those sob stories u read in the new paper.

http://www.tristefemme.blogspot.com/

My Life is Brilliant

Currently Playing: Siren by Tori Amos

Well, not quite.

2 days ago FYP sup popped into the lab... at the moment when i was listening to mp3s plus reading someone's blog... ARGH!! caught red handed. he just told me to meet him later that day, didn't mention anything abt it but todae i switch on my comp and realised i kena internal firewalled... got no more external access liao... only intranet and thankfully msn still on. sianzed.... heng still got msn, else i quit the fyp ah!!

spent a sleepy morning trying to figure out fyp stuff... only after a long 1 1/2hr break for lunch, a breakthru came... but although it brings me closer to the completed thing... now got more parameters to synchronise... at 4pm, i decided it was enuff... almost 5 hrs at the computer, not including breaks. will continue on mondae.

stumbled to canteen A brain dead and hungry... was a sorry sight when i met a former freshie... i was his GL once. caused a little concern in him that i was more deadpan than usual. hahah

after 1 1/2hrs i made it home... treated myself to ice cream to lift my weary spirit, and decided to go home and take a dip in the pool.

nowadays, the pool has be devoid of ppl at nite due to certain uniquely singaporean beliefs... so when i reached home i asked Mum if she objected to me going swimming. Dad wanted to join me too.

Mum: "Go lah. Y cannot?"

Me: "Todae 15th rite? They lagi come out more ah..."

Mum: "Then you 2 take care of each other lor... or swim in the jacuzzi lah! Just in front only"

Dad: "Haha, nowadays peepur even jacuzzi also dun use..."

Mum: "Eh, where got? These few days i come back always see got men inside."

Dad: "Then after a while u got turn back skarly they not there already a not?"

Well it may hv been a tough day but at least home is always wonderful :-) chatted with Dad at the pool also... talked abt housing prices... jobs... etc. things that i need to know next time.

The rest of the day spent eating dinner, playing computer, taking a nap. Obviously, still on the PC now... exciting Friday hor? Just Brilliant.

Note to Self: *blank*
(dunno wat to write.)

Visting Grandparents

Went to visit Ah Ma, Ah Kong, Lao Ma and Lao Kong with Mum earlier this afternoon.

Felt really weird not bringing anything, it seemed customary. ended up with 6 small cupcakes for Ah Ma, and didn't see any plates around so Mum just opened up the plastic bag and placed them on the table. Hope Ah Ma don't mind... but she always knew i was different.

Back then, i was the only little idiot who couldn't communicate or understand a single word of Teochew. All the other grandkids, as well as uncles and aunties, could at least conjure a decent sentence. Even my father and brother could respond when spoken to. I would hesitantly ask my Mum for a translation. Soon, some of the uncles and cousins and esp aunties was generously translating, even if i could understand. Teochew -> Chinese -> English. If i need a translation, i'll ask. Getting too many translations when i can understand is plain irritating, and smacks of seeing me no up.

But Ah Ma didn't mind... somehow she had a soft spot for me. Not that she scolded often, but she NEVER scolded me. Always patient, even when i seldom understood wat she said. Always caring, even when i didn't care much for the old 2 room flat with weathered furniture and cutlery. I remember once, i dropped a bowl into a pot of hot(!) soup coz i got a little burnt by runaway soup. as i stood there wondering if anyone would miss the bowl, Ah Ma, without warning, just dipped her bare hand in and scooped up the bowl. *stunned* WOW.

during those times, i wld be spending wkdays at her place. there was one sch holidays, i went to market with her every morning, and i wld follow her around, watch her and 1st uncle sell pork, carry the day's shopping for her around the mkt, and squat by the tap with her, peeling prawns and scaling fish. somehow, i found it fun.

in younger days still, after dinner Ah Ma wld take her usual perch against the wall by the kitchen and start smoking, while i wld be jumping ard trying to catch the smoke that floated up in all directions. but it is incense smoke that i remember most... the house was always full of it. my mind now categorises of the smell as "sweet".

but there are moments i'm now embarassed abt too. like the time when i, being the little brat i was, insisted i wanna to watch a cartoon and preventing her from watching her usual drama serial. or the time when i saw her no up, thinking she didn't know wat was a pizza. still, she only had quiet affection for this non-communicative, spoilt grandson with specs.

then one day Ah Ma fell down the mkt stairs, and subsequently we found out it was a stroke. she became bedridden, and was warded 1st in TTSH, after that in a hospice next to it. I remember going to the hospice everyday after JC to see her, since my parents wld be there too. I became so used to it that i even went without my parents anyway... whether out of habit or concern, i still dunno. it was one of those nights of me going alone, when Ah Ma wasn't saying too much. Yet, she weakly whispered to an uncle nearby to ask me to go home, probably coz she thot it was late. wow. being so sick, she still cared abt this grandson who never could understand wat she said.

another wkend, i remember visiting Ah Ma with Mum in the afternoon, when Mum was massaging Ah Ma's head. she asked me to massage Ah Ma's calves... which felt weird coz i had nv dared to touch Ah Ma before... it was her who did all the physical contact. it was a respect thing. at least seemed like the massage wasn't too sub-standard.

after a few mths, Ah Ma got better and returned home. although bedridden still, she was capable of responding. we resumed our wkend family gatherings, only difference being that Ah Ma was in the bedroom. Now that i think about it, i hope she didn't feel left out; that there was always someone with her. The non-communicative grandson didn't dare to go in alone coz he wldn't hv understood wat she said.

then a day before CNY eve at abt 2am, we got a call telling us the worst. I remember holding Mum tightly as she wailed loudly... never heard her like that before. remember thinking that she had become an orphan. remember blasting loud music to numb watever i was feeling.

We still talk abt Ah Ma regularly... and now and then, like today, i miss her alot, and think that if i had made the effort to pick up Teochew earlier, maybe i wld hv got to know her more, be closer to her. It is this guilt that made me speak Teochew nowadays. Her passing, in part, taught me the fraility of life; the stuff some earlier entries are about.

Ah Ma made the most wonderful ou chut (or hei nuo mi) i've ever eaten... thick, just sweet enuff. For some time now, I've embarked on a (never-ending) quest to find that kind of ou chut again... i cannot resist ordering a bowl everytime i come across a dessert stall. but no matter how close to it they come... something always seems to be missing.

Thoughts abt The (Elected) Presidency

Been reading Today and New Paper... as i do everyday. A summary, especially from today's Today:

When Mr. Andrew Kuan announced his intention to run, gahmen ppl started casting doubt and displeasure:

- warning of a less-than-desirable election result... implying that getting a qualified person would be more impt than a fair contest. does that mean getting such a person by other means is not out of the question? guess not, as shown by today's "election result".

- questioning his qualifications from the start, before the Presidential Elections Committee even said anything; asking him to open up his resume for scrutiny (which he did to disasterous results)

The commentary on this highlighted that the media also had a hand in casting doubt by emphasising on Kuan's previous employers' gripes abt him, and the PEC rejected him without disclosing the details for such a decision. The writer remarked that with such intense scrutiny, in the future ppl with high calibre and worthy qualifications wld be discouraged from trying to serve the country unless endorsed by the powers that be, thus the gahmen's over-cautious behaviour is actually detrimental to our long term well being.

(From "A price too high to pay" by Siew Kum Hong)

A forum letter writer also brought to task the fact that JTC, being a "kind employer" paid taxpayers' money to keep someone, whom JTC itself identified as not up to the job, in that job; a job which handled even more taxpayers' money. since the TT fiasco, it seems singaporeans are more wary of the spending of public money.

While I hv faith in and agree with the PEC's decisions, i join many others in asking them to reveal the factors that led to those decisions.

While I do not think Kuan would be suitable for President, I salute his ambitions... he must have been planning this for some time; as well as his hopefully well meaning intentions. But i do think he was a little naive to not think that his past wld come back to haunt him, and he does come across as being a little conceited and smoke-blowing on his website (www.andrewkuan.com) and as portrayed by media.

I am rather disappointed at the gahmen's defensive reflex... very quickly casting doubt on an unendorsed contestant, undermining support for him very early on. They mean well, but hopefully, less hand holding and parental cajoling next time. also, hopefully just a bit of encouragement for those who do not wear the same colours but want to serve the nation all the same. please, let me vote at least once in my lifetime?

but i do not blame the media for playing its role, however sensationalised. there wld be no headlines if there were nothing sensational in the 1st place... so far, (maybe partly thanks to SG being the no.1 defamatory law suit capital of the world) news reports have been accurate, telling the ppl wat we want/need to know. otherwise, why all the hue and cry abt the TT fiasco? kudos. (wish i could be an investigative journalist...)

And i reiterate my opinion that singahporeans hv been to spoilt by the gahmen... now ppl will blatantly reject anyone who is less than sparkling white for a seat in gahmen... thankfully, there are some mild exceptions... like the "No Clothes Member of Parliament". Next time not enuff clean and capable peepur how? take incapable but clean or capable but unclean? i can't answer that myself.

after all this has happened, guess who's going to join good ol'TT in SG's list of "Famous People Who Can't Get A Job"?

A Reply to A Dear Fren's Blog

Coz i shdn't blog on others' blogs

"But can u see what you have missed? It could be a different comm altogether if chance was given to u, to me or to anuther person.""I heal beautifully too. I found the footies."

Once it has passed, try not to focus on what could hv been, but make best use of wat's present. That's y i can say bye and cut off so easily.

Coz one day u'll look back and connect the dots... and see it was everything, good and bad, and how u handled it, that got u to where u r.

It could hv been a different comm if a chance was given to u... but u might hv been as blind to politics as zz and i at that moment.

It could hv been a different comm... but if so, maybe u wldn't hv become ur hall sportsgirl of the yr, or wldn't hv found the footies.

It could hv been... but bcoz it didn't, we hv all grown wiser.

Sorry for leaving u alone then... sorry if i moved on a little too fast. back then i was left somewhat alone too, with a heavy responsibility. In my determination to make adsports work no matter wat, i left u behind. I didn't know if u wanted me around also... felt a little guilty that i couldn't help ur bid to run much.

Abt everything that happened, I'm glad it did. Like u said, it's an experience... to me, a life changing one, one of life's lessons. I've learnt from it, appreciate wat it's given me, and look back and laff. and wld like to apologise to the toes stepped on along the way.

Digging Up The Past - My Thoughts

With reference to the entry below...

In a way, i am thankful that i was ousted... coz adsports3 had more than its fair share of problems, with alvin's incident being most dreadful. and that main comm was so fractured i'm glad i had no part in it. i'm thankful that i can look at them and think to myself "haha i told u so" and "heng i not associated to u guys at all"

now with adsports being relegated, got ppl wonder if i wld be upset... truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter to me anymore. once they cut me off, i cut them off... i like to return favours. in this incident, i learnt to let go, and totally. since they didn't want me involved, i kept away, with this mindset: if they succeeded, good for them, i hv no part in it, so no credit is mine. if they failed, i wld hv proven my point. in all fairness, kitty & i did try to pass on some of our knowledge... but the 2 yr1s either seemed unprepared to absorb or just couldn't be bothered.

so... wat happens to adsports in odac is little concern to me now... it has been for 2 yrs. becoz i took away wat was most precious and valuable in my 2 yrs there... great frens. something that they cld nv take away from me, esp so after the shabby treatment which left adsports2 disgruntled. despite the lack of contact with adsports1, and despite the occasional hiccups with adsports2, i still love u guys.

and this is the most significant achievement adsports3 failed in... in creating strong bonds among its members. evil, but that gives me an even greater sense of achievement... now i have factual confirmation that kitty & i did a great job.

i took away wat is impt: good frens, plenty of experience, plenty of positive growth, and knowledge that i did wonderfully, to the best of my abilities. i do not bother myself with insignificant ppl or things that happen beyond my control, which will not affect me anyway.

just a couple of shout outs, if they do read this:
kitty: thanx for putting up with my nonsense when we started out, thanx for being an understanding working partner and a helpful fren. just... well... try not to be so negative when i'm trying to help k?
squid: thanx for sticking around for 2 yrs. when u did come around, u made a hell of a difference. just as i hoped. :-) stick around somemore! so i can hv more weird dreams.
zow: try not to be upset... our time was great, but its over liao. it's someone else's show, so let them do it their way... we did things our way too! it might turn out the way they want it, they might be successful in their own right.
lining: apologies for the bo chup attitude during and after that AGM so many yrs ago... didn't mean to be bo chup but i didn't want to care anymore abt an orgn which didn't care abt me. and also knew that time wld reveal how things were... which did. hope u understand now... been wanting to talk to u abt this.
red & lining: i hope i didn't let u down with my way of leading adsports... and leaving it. in all honesty, both comms are different. i think i did an OK job.
adsports2: i hope this is still just the beginning... i will put in effort to make it so.

after everything that happened, why does it still taste so sweet? coz in the end, i was right all along. i may not have done everything right, but at least i did a job anyone wld hv been proud of.

Digging Up The Past - What Happened

was supposed to read my notes in the lib, but since 2 gd frens blogged abt this, will give in to peer pressure and do likewise. be warned: it may get pretty long

odac AGM just concluded last week, with the usual controlled democracy voting system again. it seems that adsports has been overshadowed by ATC, the adventure race entity it created. now the main commer in charge is labelled: ATC SPO, not adsports officer or even SPO (adsports).

my 2 buddies expressed dismay that adsports is no more, but from a reliable source, there still is adsports... but it has somehow been relegated into like trek comm or climbing comm... will find out more details out of curiosity. abt the structure, the roles, etc.

some background: i was in adsports1 as a sub commer in yr 1... the 1st adsports comm. had lots and lots of fun with red, lining, ally, kb, zow, gingin, gill, nicky n thongliang. zow and i wanted to continue as heads... but she wasn't given the chance. those who were going from 6th to 7th comm, esp the girls, were convinced she could only play... none of them saw her work, therefore, she does not work. others, like some guys, felt she was inexperienced.

so i felt (and self-afflicted) the pressure of making adsports2 as much a success as adsports1. the camaderie, the fun activities, the garang-ness that made adsports1 wat it was had to be passed on, and as someone who knew how it was like, i had to make it happen. unfortunately, i made the mistake of wanting adsports2 to be just like adsports1 for the 1st sem... so i was nv satisfied and constantly comparing, giving myself pressure and breathing down the necks of adsports2 (esp kitty's) despite early half hearted attempts by the pres to convince me otherwise.

i don't know when, but slowly i realised there was no point comparing, coz the ppl are not the same, so the comm won't be. the realisation was complete somewhere in late jan/early feb 2003 when after a meeting at cant a, everyone else from adsports2 went towards NIE while i was the only one going down to south spine. i felt a little tinge of loneliness... i didn't feel like leaving this bunch of fun ppl. that was when i knew... i was in love with them. hahahah

unfortunately, most outside the comm didn't take adsports2 seriously. maybe it was because i scaled down the end-of-yr event from an adventure race to a dual-discipline expedition due to manpower constraints: without the competitive element, maybe the main commers felt it was less of a big deal.

having announced that all main commers had to help out in all 3 main odac events, of which ex:ex was among them, the pres, along with his best fren the biz mag, left for spain. the secretary left for germany. as they say, shang liang bu zheng, xia liang wai; with the ones on top setting a poor example, the ones below would follow likewise. in spite of meeting announcements and emails, none of the main commers turned up for the recce, at most 2 turned up for the dry run. wat made the lack of support worse was the complaining. main commers complained they didn't know wat to do, didn't know they needed to pay, etc, etc. someone was even reported (by one of the climbing guys) to hv shed tears over paying $15. but of course, little children... you wldn't know a thing coz u never turned up when we were preparing for the event. poor things... we wld hv taken ur feedback if u were around to give it.

of coz, logistical problems brought on by external companies (notably, a kayaking company situated on the western end of ECP) added to the tensions and headaches, but in the end, participants were coming to us saying it was great... they couldn't have done it without us. of coz there were also problematic, uncooperative and ungrateful participants around...

then came the AGM preparations of that year. kitty and i were poised to stay on in the main comm after indicating our interest and given stamps of approval by the controllers of democracy (ie. those who weren't running again, or who said they weren't). i wld reprise my post in adsports while kitty wld go to publicity, with crying-coz-she-gotta-pay-$15 (CCSGP$) girl.

a few wks after we thot we had settled on this, on the 1st day of sch, the new comm had a meeting. after climbing guy droned on and on abt main commers shd be closer to each other than twds their own sub comm (a barb aimed at kitty and me, an idea i disagree with) the 2-time pres met kitty and me privately and told us the rest of them decided to ask us not to run again, for the following reasons:

- Fresh blood, in the form of freshies, was desired (applies to kitty and me)
- Publicity could do with only one senior, and 2-time pres said he could work better with CCSGP$ girl (kitty)
- Adsports can be handled by freshies alone (me)
- Most of those who were staying on didn't like our style of working (unspoken but clearly shown during ex:ex)
- We weren't in the "in" group (unspoken but clearly shown during ex:ex, and the surprise meeting announcement of us not running)

FINE. i don't stay where i'm not welcomed. so kitty and I left, after a polite announcement from 2-time pres and a polite applause thanking us for our efforts in the past yr. feeling pissed over being sorely unappreciated already, the following happened:

- 2-time pres' best all time buddy, the biz mag, rejoined the comm when he indicated otherwise before.
- CCSGP$ girl stayed on but didn't become publicity, a yr 2 from sports club did.
Which contradicted the point abt getting fresh blood.

- after adsports2, adsports3's yr 1 officers floundered, and messed up such that seniors had to step in and run the show.
Which proved to everyone else i was right all along: Adsports cannot be run by 2 inexperienced yr1s.

and during that AGM, adsports2 accidentally staged a protest of sorts. everyone knew we weren't happy with the shabby way they treated kitty & i, but it wasn't on purpose. with most of us taking basic malay together, we arrived late for the AGM. and since most didn't get a place in hall yet, we had to leave early together, walking out during the break. the lao jiaos were indignant at our behaviour... thinking kitty & i had led this protest. in actual fact, we just wanted to go home - this AGM didn't matter much to most of us anyway. in the end, 2 of us stayed inside and i stayed outside to accompany PP, after someone said it wasn't v nice.

and that was the end of my involvement with adsports. i wasn't wanted, therefore i made myself scarce.

No More Presidential Election... :-(

Currently Playing: Silence to Mark This Bit Of Sad News...

How sad... 3 out of 4 Presidential hopefuls have earned the vetos of the Presidential Election Committee... No prizes for guessing who made the cut. Oh well... if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

But still... some thoughts. If ppl want to enter the fray, they have to be totally clean... really TOTALLY. look at how much dirt the newspapers dug up? SG is a small country... someone somewhere sure know your ugly history. And even if u want to enter, will the ppl see u as buay hiao bai, want to be big shot?

And even if many ppl welcome the competition... lets face it, how many votes is the unknown guy or the shady past guy or the keep trying guy going to get? the ppl will be thinking: "i'm glad there's a choice for the public, but no way i'm going to let u win... i'll vote for the incumbent coz at least i know he can do the job."

Also, thanx to our (too) wonderful gahmen, everyone with gahmen power is super clean... that's y they wear all white! so much so that now the ppl as kinda spoilt as well... a little bit of dirty past also cannot... ppl in power must be CLEAN. unlike other countries. good is that we can the best, clean gahmen. but bad is coz once ppl got a bit of dirt, no matter how good they are, either they'll be shot down or the ppl wun accept anyway.

Future how? when no one is clean enuff? when the ppl are over reliant and complacent abt our gahmen and its public services? (oops, its happened already)

Wat will the ppl do if someday the gahmen fails to perform or protect? will we sit around helplessly waiting for someone to tell us wat to do? hope that things will magically turn out well as usual? will we dare to stand up and take positive action? would we even know wat positive action to take?

Nightmare!

Currently Playing: Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chilli Peppers on Class95

My fren, the squid, and I were walking a dirt road and discussing the plight of foreign workers... how they are nameless, exploited and some of them die very pitifully due to accidents, etc. (Dunno why that was the topic)

Then we came across a group of foreign workers who were digging/filling up holes/watever... Squid and I stopped and watched them a while. Suddenly Squid grabbed one of the spades and nearby, ran to the nearest water pipe and started digging furiously!! The foreign workers and I stood there stunned and bewildered, they wondering why this crazy singaporean kapoh one of their spades, and I wondering what he was doing. Finally when the pipe was fully exposed and Squid seemed ready to punch a hole into it, I shouted at him, "Stop! That's our National Resources!" (hahahahah dun ask me, i dunno why!)

Squid seemed to suddenly realise what he was doing, dropped the spade and we quickly walked off the way we came, feeling paiseh towards the workers. After a distance, some guy zoomed past us, shouting "Bees! Bees! Bees!" Squid and I RAN. But soon the bees were all around me, and i tried to pluck out the few that landed and tried to sting me. The one in my palm felt so real as i tried to squeeze it out, at the same time knowing there were at least 3-4 other stings pumping their venom into me... I didn't feel any pain, probably coz of the adrenaline. I was still trying to squeeze out the bee from my left palm to the sound of "Bees! Bees! Bees!"... and I woke up.

Analysis:
I dunno wat's up with the foreign workers thingy... maybe coz i read abt this guy who was flung out of the back of a pick up and died on the expressway.
I dunno why Squid acted liddat but I was with him earlier yesterday... talked about sensitive stuff. Maybe he wanted to dig up the past? hahah.
I dunno wat's up with the "National Resources" thingy... maybe coz it's National Day? haha
I think the "Bees! Bees! Bees!" was a corruption of hearing my Dad shouting at me to wake up... hahahahah

Note to self: Sleep earlier at night!

Late Nite of Serious Thots

Currently Playing: Everybody's Changing by Keane

Late Nites are very conducive for serious thots.

Was reading a gd fren's blog, where she questioned the certainty of marriage and asked, "what is your greatest happiness?"

Well... but why is marriage such a happy thing? why everyone wants it? Coz it is a symbol of hope... The hope that you will never be alone again... Where someone will always care for u and love u and share ur life... and gives more hope that the person you depend on will not leave.

I learnt something recently... abt ppl: Hope, but don't Expect.

Inspired by my parents, rite now my greatest happiness wld be to be a wonderful father to my kids, so they grow up to be good, responsible, balanced, happy adults.. and of coz I need a wonderful spouse to help me with that.

Not so long ago, I wanted to be a big big shot like LKY... change the world, make ppl's lives for the better; so after i die, i will live on in history books, govt policies, roads and buildings named after me.

But now I realise the best way to live forever is thru others... thru the ppl you affect the most... and upbringing is the strongest way to affect others... so I want to live after death thru my kids.

And at the same time... I want my parents to live thru me... so I want to know them as ppl... pick up who they are and wat they like... so part of them will always be with me.

To develop and improve myself, is also one of my ultimate goals... but it isn't be my greatest happiness. To have a large hand in developing someone else, and to develop them well, is.

UNpleasant Animal Clinic

Currently Playing: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

Hamster Girl has had a bald spot under her right hind leg, since I got her back from a fren, which spread to above the leg since. Dunno how that happened...

After 1 month with no improvement, been wanting to bring her to the vet down Katong. Checked her this morning, seems there's some improvement. The mid-day heat added to my reluctance to go, but Mum said i shd be a responsible pet owner.

So i pushed away an appointment with frens and walked down the sweltering road under the sun, with an umbrella shielding Hamster Girl's cage. By the time i reached there, i was wet with sweat.

A bit of background knowledge here. The few times i went to recce the clinic, I noticed something really dumb. their opening hours are printed on a crummy little piece of A4 paper stuck inside of their door. they have a little foyer at a right angle and a gate which prevents ppl from entering the foyer. So, when the place is closed, no one can see their opening hours. How Dumb Is That?? No Fricking Business Sense.

So last nite i went, seeing the lights on but door closed, I went into the back door and asked a female worker with specs and 2 large pimples on her forehead for their opening hours. wat she conveniently neglected to tell me is they closed for lunch.

So on reaching the damn place, it was "closed" although ppl were waiting ard. I went in and asked, the unsympathetic biatch of a receptionist said they reopen at 2pm, come back then. i told the woman my hamster isn't feeling well, i dun want to walk back and forth with her when its so hot. she coldly said if i insisted to see the vet, they would charge emergency fees.

WUT DA FARK?!?!? so wat's ur damn motivation in running the clinic? helping animals or making profits?? But then again, with such poor business sense, i don't think profits are much.

So i adamantly protested with my feet. come on use ur fricking brains! u're not the only animal clinic in SG. but with ur poor attitude towards customers u'll be the one i wun visit again. The least you could do is open up one more slot for me, i dun think dropping fur would take too long to diagnose. attitude counted for plenty as well. No "I'm sorry sir, but we'll be taking a break. you could leave your poor little hamster here and come back later, we'll take a look at her then."

Consumers Of Singapore! These few days there's been articles and letters in the newspapers about poor service standards. If we don't show management of service companies we'll willing to vote with our feet and wallets, and if we don't show service staff we will not stand being bullied, the service standards of our economy will never be improved upon.

So do your part of the country on its 40th birthday! Experience lousy service? Walk out. Getting rude service? Tell the sales staff off. but of coz, dun stoop to their level and be rude. tell the person civilly that such lousy attitude will not make the sale. the money u pay will go into the person's pocket, and with such attitude, that will not happen. If the person continues with such poor attitude, he/she might not have a job soon.

Anyway, for Hamster Girl, i'll continue to monitor her fur... but there's been some improvement (i'm being objective here), fur's been growing a little under her leg. so i'll wait another week and see... meanwhile look around for other clinics, and continue to give her healthy food.

Note to self: Stand up for your consumer rights!

Instructions on How to Have A Happy Day Even When Friends Pang Seh You Last Minute The Night Before

Follow these steps in chronological order:

1) Wake up at 11am.

2) Wake up again at 12.20pm.

3) Go for a swim with your new goggles. Afterwhich, laze by the edge of the pool until white arms turn red.
Note: Do NOT do this with goggles! Take them off after the swim.

4) Play with pet hamster while changing the wood shavings and washing cage "furniture". Repeat for all pet hamsters.

5) Have late lunch of Mother's homemade chicken pie and coffee. Help wash up after.

6) Go out to buy newspapers at 7-11 coz you badly need to take a crap and have nothing to read.

7) Return (Quickly!) with newspapers.

8) Crap.

9) Take a nap.

10) Wake up from nap when its dark, and mull about the house while playing MSN. Go out for dinner when too hungry to MSN.

11) Walk through local red light street looking like a bum to the nearest Burger King which isn't very near.

12) Order that Whopper you've been craving for and be very pleasantly surprised when the counter guy asks if you want a Double (DOUBLE?!?) Whopper. Say "Yes, please."

13) ENJOY that Double (DOUBLE?!?) Whopper.
Note: This is best done alone so you really enjoy that Double (DOUBLE?!?) Whopper without worrying about the ketchup, mayonaise and salad dressing on your face and dripping down your fingers; and really, really sink your teeth into 2 huge patties of beef below a crispy, juicy salad in a large bun. ooohhh man... it was sssssssoooooooo GOOD......

14) Stroll about the shopping centre aimlessly.

15) Buy that pouch you're been eyeing for a year. (Optional)

16) Buy a choc fudge brownie ice cream cone which offers a discount when you show your student card. (Extra points if your student card has expired)

17) Stroll down local red light street looking like a bum eating ice cream.

18) Return home and play MSN, chat with frens on the phone and blog til falling asleep.

Repeat as and when applicable.

Some Thots Abt Life & Love

Currently Playing: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5

I have the fortune to have a number of close girl buddies, and the misfortune of some of them being attached to other guys. ;-) (hahaha)

Now and then, they have problems and somehow exercise poor judgement by confiding in me. So thru them, I learn how to treat my future gf. thanx gals...

This entry is not in response to anyone, it is just my personal thots collected recently.

Expectations:
After all that's happened recently... I guess the only thing i can expect from my future gf is that she loves me, and is faithful and true. Maybe she won't appreciate every effort i make but that's probably coz she doesn't see the effort or intent. So i shall endeavour to communicate my thots and feelings to her wherever applicable, and accept when she does the same. Also, appreciate every intent, every effort she makes for me. this way, i don't expect her to understand me automatically always.

Appreciation:
Also, i will endeavour to show appreciation always, in words and actions. Affection as well, just like what i do at home for my parents. Times when we sit down and chat about nothing will be often.

Personal Selves:
We both will hv to understand that in the initial stage, both of us would stick together relentlessly... but there'll come a time when our personal selves would push out again; esp so for me, with my affinity towards freedom, space, independence, individuality, and alone time. She will want them too, so i shall endeavour to understand her personal needs and not swamp her with my own. being together doesn't mean 2 ppl sharing 1 life, but 2 ppl sharing their 2 lives with each other. Also, i will respect who she is, and not try to turn her into someone she is not. if she likes to dig her nose (in private lah, which girl will in public?), go ahead and dig... coz i dig too!! *sings: "she can dig, and i can dig, we can dig together..."

Restrictions:
Restrictions on her going out with guy frens one-on-one? I wldn't want that on me, and similarly dun want to place any on her. coz I believe I will choose someone unflirty, someone who will stay true as long as i don't mess up too badly. So she shall hv my trust. If she does stray, it'll be becoz i hvn't been treating her well or things hv become stale... Thus I will endeavour to stay true and honest, always show affection, and make efforts to keep things fun for the both of us.

I know these might be hard to achieve, and i might not remember to do so all the time... but all these have an underlying principle: Life is short, and there's only one chance. So I want this chance of her's, as well as all my loved ones', to be full of happiness and love, and to let them be who they are. What i can do to get that, i will. No point trying to force her to do things she dun wanna do or be someone she's not... i'll always let her choose, but in doing so i will make my offer of choice the best one. (a bit like economics... hahha)

Coz like what those emails always say... if u die, ur company just places an ad in the newspaper the next day to fill your position. but the lives of those who love u, and maybe those u largely ignore coz u see them at home everyday, will be changed forever. Love them, show them you care every chance u get.

And next time, when i intro my gf to you, no need to tell her how lucky she is... coz, she'll know.

She will be loved. :-)

Reader Census!

Currently Playing: Cornflake Girl by Tori Amos (late quiet nite just great for her tracks!)

Alamak... Have already lost track of who's been reading here...

So quick... Gimme an ego-trip! comment on this post with ur name (or nickname or something i can identify u by) so i know u're a loyal reader!! ;-)

Uni Education: Lateral Thinking Not Included

Currently Playing: Endless Ads on Class95

Was slightly later than usual in reaching Boon Lay, so I met the queues of 179 and 199 near the 199 queue area. Taking reference with last sem's situation, I walked further on to the 179 queue area and found that there was another queue at the original railings, only half filled.

The shorter queue was clearly visible to those in the front of the other queue, but obviously, they wouldn't want to move. Yet, if they see this everyday, didn't it occur to them that every morning they could have walked further to check the shorter queue and join it, saving waiting time instead of joining the first one that they encounter? Last sem i only went to sch on mondae mornings and i learnt abt it... so why didn't they, who go back and forth daily?

Kind of blindly queuing up isn't it? I know queuing is our national pastime... but must be smart abt it also mah. What does it say abt the bulk of undergrads from this crappy uni? No lateral thinking? No risk taking culture? Sheep mentality? Inability to learn beyond books? Simply no common sense?

But is it due to this particular uni? or SG education of rote learning? Can't say for sure, but at least there's improvements... don't apply to me anyway. I too, am guilty of non-existent lateral thinking.

Today's headlines say a 51yr old ex-JTC CFO wants to run for President. My 1st thot was "wah, so young... sure a not?" (Surely, a remark he hasn't heard in a while) I wondered about his experience and ability... Then in the boring fluids lecture it struck me... why not? if he is up to it, let him stand for election. It's what I want too rite? An election at least.

So although I do not know you, go for it, Mr. Andrew Kuan! I support your intention to stand, as well as the incumbent's. Of course, my vote will go to whoever appears more suitable. The people will be watching... ;-)

Note to self: Don't stereotype, always give people a chance!

Random Thots on the Same Day

Currently Playing: There She Goes by Sixpence None The Richer on Class95

Every once in a while, it happens, just like today. Some guy/girl who i find vaguely familiar, manages to make eye contact and wave/smile at me.

For those few milli-seconds, my bewildered expression gives away my brain processes:
1) Do I know this guy/girl?
2) Do I respond in kind?
3) Where have I seen him/her before? Searching......

Usually I quickly respond in kind (after an embarassing incident where i kept trying to search and i met the "stranger" a few days later in the same hall!) and after being puzzled for a day, I'll forget the person until the next time I meet and wonder who the person is again...

So why do I not remember this person?
1) Probably I identify the person with a particular context or setting... so when out of that setting, I don't recollect him that easily.
2) Probably there's no emotional attachment with the person. In the brain, the memory function area (hippocampus) is located next to the emotional function area (amygdala) and thus events/people with an emotional attachment are recalled more easily.
See how interesting and applicable psychology is, as opposed to engineering?

About engineering... i obediently went for 2 concurrent lectures this morning from 830am, a rarity by any standard. unfortunately, i brought the wrong notes for both, leading to me not getting a clue wat the old men were talking about. chances are the outcome would not vary anyway, but i was more bored than i shd hv been. ended up reading newspaper in one lecture, sleeping in another. hey, at least i made some effort.

And during this short time in sch todae, I already saw 5 guys i know, who are same batch as me. There's at least 10ppl i know, same batch, and who are still ard... i dun really think too depressively of me staying back, but its comforting to know i'm not the only one, and that there's so many of us. ;-)

And, I made an exciting discovery! Hot coffee on a cold morning in a cold LT feels wonderful. a bit afraid of coffee spilling on me again (refer to old entry) but it was great... the slightly bitter sweetness of thick warm fluid rolling ard my mouth... the heat travelling down and staying in my chest... the strength of coffee going to my brain as i read the newspaper... shiok. Maybe u have to try it to understand...

Speaking of newspaper... President SR Nathan is running for a second term in office, with 2 possible opponents so far. One of them remains anonymous; the other is Mr. Oei Boon Ewe, who already "failed to qualify for an eligibility certificate" in 1999, when also trying to run against President Nathan. Even if Mr. Oei gets to stand for election, chances are he won't win: Singaporeans are not known for their generousity of 2nd chances towards "failures", and their defiance towards the status quo. Personally, between an unknown vs someone tried and tested, I would go with the majority as well.

So, very likely President Nathan will be running again. One technicality i foresee would be his "victory title", his "statement of achievement". Being President for 12 years, he would possibly be "Singapore's Longest Serving President" if my memory serves me correctly. So more specifically, would he be "Singapore's Longest Serving Unelected President"? or "Singapore's 1st Unelected/Elected President"? "Singapore's 5th Unelected and 2nd Elected President"?

No offense, but it's not an election if the people don't get to vote. But i guess if there's only one person running and he's endorsed by the govt, an election is out of point. even if there's no clear majority, he'll be appointed anyway. Too bad as of now, no one else (explicitly) worthy is running... oh well, since i got no solution, i shdn't criticise.

Note to Self: Stop wasting time blogging and get back to FYP!

Genius, 24, eats Jackfruit Seed

Currently Playing: Ads on Class95

(a respite from the ultra long entries u've been reading... dun wanna bore my dear readers.)

Yesterday, a local genius, so referred to as he has spent many more years in university than his peers, ate a jackfruit seed.

He (didn't give his name as he does not want to be identified) was present at his university's sailing club welcome tea, which was held 5-8pm, when finger food was made available by the welfare IC of the committee.

The finger food, meant for 20-30 ppl, consisted of stiff, dry french fries, burnt spring rolls, passable curry puffs, (only) EIGHT chicken nuggets and six suspicious looking hunks of what appeared to be fried chicken meat, mostly bought from a nearby muslim food stall.

Being hungry, it being dinner time, the protagonist, having tried most of the other food to little satisfaction, gamely took a large bite of a suspicious chicken meat hunk, which no one on scene had tried before.

Munching on the terribly crunchy, hard and tasteless food item, not only did he realise it wasn't meat, he noticed a weird phenomenon: instead of teeth marks, a large, perfectly circular concave void was staring back at him in the remaining half of the food item.

Thinking nothing of it, he finished the rest of what he thought was a fried, rather tasteless, dry cake; not unlike that of a fried banana cake, but less oily and with a crunchy component.

After some time spent chatting with friends, the protagonist returned to the food table to find, amongst everything else, a plate empty except for 2 round, hard objects which a fellow commitee member labelled "jackfruit seeds".

The horrible feeling of realisation dawning upon one is quite unforgettable.

Thankfully, the shock was hidden well from the people looking on.

The local genius, hereby re-establishing his title, shall henceforth endeavour to be less adventurous about food.

A Sianzed Nite Cycling - What Happened

Ever had an event where everything just turned out wrong? Felt that you could go apply for redundancy? Felt unappreciated for efforts, that amounted to nothing much anyway?
yup... it was that kind of a night.

prologue
it was a while since the 9 of us did something adventurous, so one of us suggested reliving old memories by having another night cycling. despite some insistence there was no need, i thot we shd hv a safety vehicle for the following reasons:
- ok i admit it... i was doubtful my body could handle it reasonably.
- with some of us working already, not used to staying up all nite. we could take turns on the bikes.
- i was afraid of accidents involving us and drunk and/or speeding drivers.
a few incidents got me scared of this kind of thing, but the one that really stands out was alvin's... (for those who dunno) a drunk driver hit him from the back of his bike and he landed on his head. it had almost been two yrs since he passed on... i only spoke to him once, but (unfortunately) he taught me the frailty of life.

so, i turned up a little late with my car at ECP last nite coz i needed to sleep more before staying up. it started pleasantly enuff with me having dinner alone at mac while the rest got their bikes and moved off 1st... small, but a sign of things to come, on hindsight. one of us was supposed to join me in the car, and another was contemplating abt it, so at least i wld hv company. but the first one didn't come coz she was tired; without knowing that, the second decided otherwise - he wld cycle.

so i drove down the unfamiliar expressways and got lost, at one point finding myself at changi airport, and then at changi village. thankfully, i managed to catch up with the cyclists but they had already started on the roads instead of waiting for me to cover the rear... which was wat i thot i was supposed to do. at least i did once i caught up.

being sianzed at the thot of being alone the whole nite, i wasn't in best of moods. so i called to see if there was anyone who was bo liao, free and nice enuff to join me the rest of the nite... thankfully it only took 2 calls. 1st callee didn't mind, satisfying the criteria but didn't know the rest. 2nd callee, CS, who knew the rest, decided to be a wonderful fren and sacrificed her sleep to accompany me. only problem: she stayed in sembawang.

so i left the rest at changi village and picked CS up... meeting them at tampines mall and again they had rode the roads without me guarding. i don't blame them for moving on, i feel guilty at not being there.

after a rest, they moved on and i took some time to take a leak and get back to the car... by then they were far off. i caught up with them at bedok, but they were on the pavement, thus i cldn't and there was no need to slow down. unfortunately the route wasn't firmly agreed upon, so i cldn't find them and only caught up at chai chee... only after the last man had an egg thrown at him by 2 brain damaged turds on a motorbike. if i was there they wldn't hv dared, or i wld hv run over them. but i wasn't.

i followed them til geylang when the traffic was too heavy and i had to move on. so i wasn't there yet again. and when they left geylang they took an off road route soon after... so not only i had a delay going back to the car, i lost them 10secs after i found them. thot indoor stadium was on the route... went there only to realise it wasn't. it being late (5am), i decided to top up petrol and send CS back to sembawang. at the kiosk, petrol came up to quite a bit but CS made up for it... by sleepily trying to enter the wrong car!

so after sembawang, i zoomed to catch the cyclists from esplanade back to ECP. once again for the umpteenth time, i went round in circles trying to find them as they cycled, kept moving. finally found them at mountbatten rd and managed to do wat i was supposed to for a short while before they turned into the park. it being late (or rather early in the morning, 7am) and me being in a lousy mood, i promptly gave them their bags from the car and returned home.

A Sianzed Nite Cycling - My Thots

In reference to "A Sianzed Nite Cycling - Wat Happened"

On the surface, i felt... unwaited for. i always had to search for them, chase them and catch up to perform my protective role, only to lose them to the pavement. i know i shdn't hinder them, but it felt as though there was no need for me to be there. not much acknowledgement from them except the last man anyway, that my vehicle was there.

So i started thinking: shd i have even turned up with my car? they seemed to be having so much fun on bicycles, hardly giving a damn abt me, no serious accidents happened, and i didn't prevent any. and the one who didn't think a safety veh was necessary wasn't talking to me much. if not for CS chatting with me the whole nite and the bags deposited in the backseat, i wld hv just gone home.

so why did i turn up with my car? a lovely fren had told me i was paranoid a few occasions. maybe i am... like wat they say in chinese, "not scared ten thousand, just scared in case". i even brought my 1st aid kit with me... i'm that kind of guy: if i see something that needs to be done and i hv the ability, i'll do it. and if anything happened to these close frens of mine, i dunno how i'll react.

maybe coz we are close frens... so they didn't think was i did was anything out of the ordinary, or maybe i placed too much expectation on them. but simply put, all i wld've liked is some form of appreciation, just a "thanx for being behind" or even "having fun in the car?". was that too much? felt like my role was largely ignored.

or maybe i had gotten to used to YEP, where i was always thanked for just simply doing my job, which i felt there was no need (coz it's my job mah). here i took on the risk of my car getting rammed by a drunk speeding driver but petrol costs... when i cld hv just thot abt having fun and cycled for $8. maybe only from my pt of view its different. or maybe the same and i expected same gratitude.

probably it has to do with my expectations that there wld be appreciation from them for sitting in an air con car while they are pedalling like crazy. expectation is such a perception shifter... i will get disappointed with close frens who i hv expectations of, and will get pleasantly surprised when frens, who i do not dare to hv expectations of, overdeliver in their concern and appreciation of me.

as yet, i might hv too high expectations of long time close frens, or none at all. i'm sorry, i'm currently trying to revise them into just appreciating when i do something for u guys. so to help me along... when u feel appreciative of me, pls do let me know. i promise i'll take it as graciously as i can. if u know my expectations of u are too high or are getting higher, let me know too; i like frankness, and will adjust accordingly.

so, to end off, a note to...
CS: thank you for being a wonderful fren last nite. staying up the whole nite toking cock with me even though u felt sleepy and had to go ur bf's place the next morning... thank you so much.
the last man: thank you for showing appreciation and acknowledging my prescence as a safety veh... even though i wasn't there most of the time. and apologies in the repeated calls abt location; i kept calling u was coz i felt u appreciated.
the one who didn't show up: no worries... i know u're tired from work. sianzed but dun blame u at all.
the one who didn't think a safety vehicle was necessary: yup, i'm the idiot who brought all this trouble to myself... no useful contribution watsoever. fine... i know wat to do next time.
the rest: sorry if my lousy mood affected u guys or the general mood.
self: stop giving frens unreasonable expectations. and stop doing unnecessary things. no one appreciates nothing contributed but trouble.

Yet Another Charity Show!

Currently Playing: I Just Wanna Live by Good Charlotte

In spite of the NKF fiasco 2 weeks ago, for this sunday, there's still yet ANOTHER charity show involving celebrities singing, dancing and doing other death defying stunts. It's the President's Star Charity Show! *Canned applause and wolf-whistles*

Don't worry good folks, I'm betting that the organisations involved in this show won't be up to any (expensive) monkey business... thanx to the NKF shooting themselves in both feet. And also, the Patron (unfortunately, a dirty word nowadays) is none other than our esteemed President! Obviously, there won't be any pocketing of money coz the Istana ALREADY HAS gold taps and designer bowls. (It's meant to be a joke, Mr President Sir... please please PLEASE do not sue me; my family does not own a peanut farm. I support your running for a 2nd term wholeheartedly.)

We all also read on a local tabloid newspaper that actually the celebrities on these charity shows were TOLD to cry (of coz, they're actors) and make all those phone dialling actions and act pitiful and sympathetic while doing crazy stunts forced upon them... If my earlier posting had shone any bad light on them, i sincerely apologise - they were just unhappily and blindly following instructions.

To show my remorse, I have decided to join into the charity show fray (there were 6 last year)... Yes, next year TV audiences will have yet another forced down their throats and into their phonelines - The Rockie's Star Charity Show! It will be organised for what the name really means... yes, it's a Star Charity! No more fake crying and no more fake concern and no more fake sympathy... the money collected will go to helping the star celebrities themselves!

Dear Readers, I see your shock and concern. "Do we really want more golden toilet furnishings?" Hear me out, please. After a recent study done by an uninterested engineering student from a local university, it has been found that the majority of individuals who suffer from Unfortunate Name Syndrome (UNS) in the Asia Pacific Region are in/or are connected to the showbiz/music/entertainment* (pick one) industry! Samples range from the unpronouncable ("Fann" pronounced "fun", "Ix") to the obviously-spelt-wronngly-somewhere ("Nnadia", "Ezann") to the non-humanoid noun (Fish, Noodle, Apple)

To help these celebrity victims and sufferers of UNS, the Rockie's Star Charity Show(RSCS) will endeavour to raise S$4.2m to help 7 victims change their name. Why so much money, yet only 7 victims, you ask. Well it so happens that recently a stat board found out that it costs S$400,000 to change a name back to the same one! Therefore, the board at RSCS realised that to have an actual name change, more money would be needed - their patron casually commented that each name change would cost a peanut. So thus only 7 victims can be helped, with no peanuts going into patron and board member pockets.

Unfortunately the Asia Pacific Region has more than 7 victims of UNS, so riding on the popularity of voting reality shows on every local channel rite now, the RSCS board has decided to change the charity show format: the full name of the show would be "The Rockie's Star Charity Show: Unfortunate Name Idol"! (it was supposed to be called "Unfortunately Named Idol" but apparently local TV does not care for grammar)

So now instead of risking neck, life and limb doing stunts, those who will be benefitting from the Show would perform for the show! TV Audiences would vote via SMS who should get the funds to cure UNS. for transparency sake: each SMS would cost $1, with 20 cents going to telcos, 20 cents going to organising the show, 20 cents for marketing the show, 5 cents going to the unfortunate celebrity voted for and 15 cents going to paying auditors for making sure the rite amt of money goes to all these ppl.

The format of the show would be as follows:
The 2 possibly-retrenched hosts of the possibly-axed NKF show would intro each contestant, who would talk abt how hard it was growing up with UNS, how much he/she suffered and a short re-enactment clip would be played.

Sample Script: *Sepia tones, pitiful music, sympathetic voice-over* Fat boy sits down on old-style canteen table full of other kids carrying a bowl fishball noodles and an apple. loudly announces "You all look! I'm eating *insert name*!!" Camera shows many many kids standing in front, pointing to camera and laughing loudly. scene suddenly changes to kid giving pirated Ru Lai Shen Zhang to bigger kid, ends up being beaten, kicked and pee-ed on. a little girl offers lollipop, but kid runs off. hmmm seems familiar... *pitiful music fadeout*

TV then shows hosts and contestant drying their eyes with ever present tissue. host asks "so what will you be singing for us tonite?" reply: "i hate my childhood/name/parents/fat kids/lollipops* (pick one) which can be found in my latest CD, even though i can't sing well and should just stick to acting, which i already suck at."

Repeat umpteen times for each contestant each weekly show, kicking out one contestant every show until 7 are left. After the celebrities have all been cured of UNS, themed variations of the show can be done... like ordinary ppl suffering from UNS (Premier League Soccer Teams). Eg. Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester, Chel...

Stay tuned!

Disclaimer: the above posting is solely for entertainment purposes; it is not meant to defame, insult, or ridicule any individual or organisation, dead or alive/disbanded or functioning. the events depicted are also purely fictional and from the author's imagination, or can be found in local newspaper reports. the author sincerely hopes anyone who may be adversely affected by his work sees the humour beneath, for no malice is meant. the author does not own any designer toilet bowls, gold taps, peanuts, or company cars which can be sold for legal costs in a defamation suit.

First Day of School Tml! Will it be my last?

Currently Playing: Nothing. It's a school nite and i dun want my mummy to know i'm still awake at 2am!

Aiyoh... first day of school TODAY. hopefully i grad this sem. really been dreading this... been putting off going to sch for FYP... rather stay at home and nuah. the past 2 days been spent running ard getting things in order. at least packed my room, bought a new hamster cage and cleaned out the others, managed to meet frens.

BUT... didn't bring hamster girl to see vet abt her balding, still hvn't totally unpacked from YEP, didn't spend time on the treadmill like i told myself to. and i badly, badly need a hair cut.

besides doing FYP and juggling 6 subjects, i'll also need to handle "curious" acquaintances...

Acquaintance, whose name i probably forgot: "Eh?? I thot u grad liao?!"
or: "Eh?? U hvn't grad ah?!"
or: "What happened to you?!"
To which I would reply: "Nope, my course 4 1/2 yrs, u dunno meh?"
or, if it applies: "No... I see you've decided to extend as well."
of coz, my course is Engineering for Uninterested Students (EUS)

well... those who matter to me already know, so doesn't matter to me much. just something i hv to deal with. but in any case most of my non-lesson and non-eating time wld be spent either in FYP lab or library. recently, I told someone this coming sem wld be siong... she told me dun think it is siong, but think that u must chiong... hahhaa how true.

but feel free to come look for me if u happen to be in sch... always hv time for frens, esp when i shd be doing something else.

need to fall asleep fast... will read a chinese picture book to do so. ;-)

note to self: work hard to end it this sem! and for goodness sake go cut ur scruffy hair!

Being Different

Currently Playing: 1985 by Bowling for Soup

Yet another lovely fren shared with me her blog address. to date, i've been able to access abt 6 blogs of my frens... and all but 1 is abt feelings, emotions, what happened. Got me thinking... i'm not a blogger, i'm a columnist. haha! sounds so professional... so which magazine/tabloid is going to pay me to write?

but seriously speaking... y dun i write abt feelings? maybe coz that wld somehow make me more vulnerable? maybe coz feelings and emotions come and go? maybe coz i'll get embarassed abt reading how dumb i was few mths ago? (i realise this is not restricted to just emotions) maybe coz thots, that hv been maturing for some time now, have more credibility to last longer? maybe coz i'm looking for a writing job but need a fricking load of practise?

hey... i AM writing abt my feelings/thots/emotions. DARN! there goes my writing job!!

anyway... thank you, dear readers, for visiting my little spot in cyberspace so regularly. the praises i get for jabbering away at things that peeve me. the pride u guys give me when u mislead me into thinking i can actually write well. thank you and your comments are more than welcome. i really appreciate ur readership.

note to self: finish all entries before cyberspace time runs out! and stay different, coz i am.

Am I That Approachable? Part 2

Currently Playing: Distractions by Zero 7

Just as I was saying frens who hv become MLM agents or "financial planners" using frenship to earn money... I caught another one over MSN! this guy did IA in the same company... but we hardly spoke over MSN after that. only said hi when we met in sch.

Fren: yo
Me: hey wazzup?
Fren: how's life?
Me: liddat lor. u? working as? (i knew something was up)
Fren: financial planner
Me: hahahhah
Fren: how many subjects next sem?
Me: eh dun bother selling me anything... i got plans liao
Fren: (proceeds to ask me abt my work load next sem, doesn't say anything abt his job nor my "dun bother" sentence) ........

was he genuinely asking abt me? or looking for a potential victim? a close, rather intellectual, fren once told me i'm damn cynical, shd give others the benefit of the doubt. yup, like in this case, i give him the benefit of my doubt... hahahah


on an unrelated note... i wonder why has this song by Zero 7 been catching my ears lately... wonder why i can't seem to settle down to get things done... wonder why things seem less fun these days... wonder why i feel so... distracted.

note to self: get a hold on yourself!

Am I That Approachable?

Currently Playing: Nothing. It's late at nite.

It all started with a YEP fren telling me he just came back from business. since he seemed eager to make conversation, to humour him, "what kind of business?" i casually asked.

BIG MISTAKE. he was in a cosmetic selling MLM. i am neither interested in the products nor sales method. yet he proceeded to rattle on over msn trying to recruit me into his fold and/or sell me cosmetics. i am unable to quote him becoz i ignored the msn and went out.

when i came back home, my hp was full of his SMS - asking me when wld be free to meet to discuss abt the business or even if i wasn't interested in the business his gf (also went YEP, also in the business) was looking for ppl to practise her demo (read: sales) talk on.

i replied that i wasn't interested and wld be too cynical to encourage his gf. anyway all the best.

since Plan A: Innocent Requests for Help failed, he put Plan B: Emotional Blackmail into action, by saying it's ok he understands but his gf wld be so disappointed to know that her good fren from YEP didn't want to help her out...

oh come on... i hardly spoke to her during the trip unless it was abt work or health. so i replied he was being pushy (he claimed he wldn't on msn earlier) and told him i was too cynical to be affected by emotional blackmail. gdnite.

so out comes Plan C: Guilt Trip! he smsed saying he did sms his gf abt it and she really got disappointed but he told her she had to respect my wishes as a fren and in seemingly no connection whatsoever, proceeded to thank me for a job well done during the trip and told me i am really a good fren to have.

i mean, no offence, but becoz he has MLM up his sleeve, i take all his words with a large dose of salt. i wldn't know if he was saying those things coz they were true and he meant it, or it was just a sales pitch. precisely y i dun like selling stuff to frens and dealing with salesppl who are frens... you don't know when they are using the friendship to earn extra cash.

i hv a good fren (since sec sch) who also came to tell me abt MLM... either with or without the guise of passing me lecture notes. i endured abt an hour of sales talk and he endured an hour of cynical questions, afterwhich neither convinced the other. but at least we kind of agreed to disagree, and we never mentioned abt it again. at least we're close enuff for me to be straight fwd and tell him no, but know our frenship would still be as strong. KB, i appreciate that. thank you.

my cousin and his sis are into MLM as well... 3 of us used to be very close when young. all it took was a happie birthdae sms from me to him for the sales talk to begin. my 2nd sms told him i wasn't interested, but thanx. last i heard, they're not doing too well, having a dearth of customers.

besides frens in MLM, strangers approach me as well... either churchy ppl or insurance agents/financial planners/life planners/whatever they are called now

used to give the religious ones a chance... thot they mean well. until this guy claiming to be a major in the air force approached me when i was a young naive recruit in BMT and talked to me from 11pm to 2am, robbing me of my precious bookout time. which recruit dares to tell a major to stop wasting his time? i never gave them a chance to do so again.

and now, i have lots of fun handling insurance agents. used to such say "no" to their questions and try to walk away... but i've learnt to identify them from far... those ppl wearing office wear (sometimes with a red lanyard) standing at busy bus interchanges with a clipboard while everyone else rushing ard has better things to do. (those with no clipboard are the religious ones) among my best rejections are:

(when the agent approaches expectantly)
- stick my hand out in front of her like a traffic police stopping a car and saying "no! not interested."

- agent: "would you like to help me do a simple survey?"
me: "about insurance rite?"
agent: "no, it's abt financial planning..."
me: "insurance lah!" (walks off)

- smile sweetly and ask "insurance? not interested" (just happened few hrs ago!)

- (agent walks alongside me at my speed, which was quite fast)
agent: (breathlessly) "hi."
me: (cheerfully) "hello!" (still walking moderately quickly)
agent: (still breathless) "would you like to stop for a while?"
me: (still cheerfully) "no, not really."

the short, sharp interactions thus end, saving me and the unfortunate agent time to pursue more rewarding encounters. it is a pity i never turn around to witness their reactions; but my main motivation is not malicious, it is not to damage their egos. although i admit it can be fun, i also do this so that i do not waste any of my valuable time on futile sales talk. i only have so many years, months, days, hours, minutes, seconds... none to spare for salesppl i will nv see again... i feel no empathy for them - they chose their own career.

note to self: Never get a sales job!

A Missing Entry!

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What happened? well i was banging away furiously to post an entry abt my waterfall trek with ODAC orientation camp, and especially abt the guy who turned my headache into a full blown migraine when my internet connection died on me... resulting in complete loss of the post. since i as a writer believe in literary integrity (read: laziness) i shall not attempt to re-write my 1st hand thots as every time it wld be different. so the blank space above is for u, my dear readers, to imagine the horrific true account that would hv been...

but no worries... the account (with some liberties taken) will be the subject of a book i shall be writing in the near-future. from my recent market survey, children and adults (with child-like interests) seem to go crazy over certain books with titles of little variation. in that light, i shall name my book "Rokky Panner and the Half-Wit Who Wouldn't Stop Talking"

In this episode, Rokky, the young "magician" (read: street con-artist) and his 2 young frens (who have no real role whatsoever, and are only there to make up the numbers so the lead doesn't seem like a social outcast) meet the Half-Wit within the long windy corridors of NTU where the Half-Wit talks the 2 frens out of their minds. Rokky, as usual, after various encounters, saves the day and the world from destruction by locking the Half-Wit in a soundproof room with LOUD chinamen who doesn't understand english. Everyone in the room dies from too much bleeding from the ears.

Wow. from a mere explanation into a full-length entry. this thing is addictive.

Looking for Job? I got Lobang!

Currently Playing: Nothing (coz scared my mum wake up and scold me for being online so late)

First of all, finally i'm back online!! Dear readers, sorry for making u guys wait so long... u can all thank my very first fan (she read finish all my entries in one sitting!) for dragging me to starhub to apply for broadband... if not i'd be sleeping right now.

Anyway, back to the current topic. Updates on YEP can wait...

Frens who hv just graduated, are you still looking for a meaningful, well-paying job? look no further than our local charitable organisations!! it's true!! usually ppl hv the concept that being a social worker means little pay, no perks, and working with sickly, old, problematic ppl. not true!!

nowadays, charitable orgns are likening themselves to publicly listed companies, and are willing to pay their employees matching salaries!! wat's more, the orgn will value your privacy and not disclose your pay package. so u can continue to act poor in front of free loading frens!! first pay just treat them 40 cent you tiao can oready! then say u nv bring out enuff cash for dou jiang... and when they ask u why u urself never order? smile sweetly and say u're full oready. the smarter ones will get the msg.

not only they match salaries, they match perks and benefits as well!! ensuring comfort locally and when abroad, each employee has their own personal toilet with fittings in the colour of their choice!! (but dunno y, now least popular is gold colour) when travelling overseas, employees are given a choice of the best airlines... or a choice of taking the lousier airlines and get a free upgrade in seats!! those who choose to travel by land may rent the whole bus for themselves as well!!

and how abt the ppl at work? no worries!! now the scope of employees have changed. last time, employees were volunteers, made to run circles round the beneficiaries. now, employees make volunteers run round in circles! what's more, now the "volunteers" are pretty faced hunks and babes under contract by their company to do wat the charitable orgn tells them to do, so no more 1/2 past 6 volunteers! can make them juggle dice, stand on eggs, and even stand on each other!! (see previous entry) so fun!!

so what are you waiting for?? sign up at your nearest charitable orgn outpost todae!! just take a quik peek at the list below before doing so...

Do's:
-Let your frens use ur lovely office toilet... i've got requests for mine already
-Maintain a not-so-well-to-do image (eg. using 10cent public toilets, giving cheapo treats, taking economy on flights)
-Sue anyone who thinks otherwise, preferably with good lawyers

Don'ts:
-Let your beneficiaries or donors know about ur lovely office toilet
-Hire kaypoh contractors who will blow ur not-so-well-to-do image
-Sue print companies who hire even better lawyers

Update from 丽江古城阿酷咖啡推荐

Currently Playing: Crappy BSB CD from the Lijiang Old City Haku Cafe

Hey hey faithful readers!!

Been trying in vain for the past 3 wks looking for an update?? here it is!! a short summary of wat i've been doing so far.

Spent the 1st 15 days in rural village in the mountains... did a little construction for a pri sch (carrying stones and soil ard), did a little interaction with the kids (it took a while to get used to their lack of bathing), did a little trekking (climbed a nearby mt twice, went to a scenic valley twice), did a little field work (toilets are self-dug among trees, goats, sheep, pigs, etc), and had fun with my teammates (i hv to say they're nice ppl coz 1 of them is looking over my shoulder as i type this now)

unfortunately the 3 girls i'm with hv discovered i'm banging away on my blog so i hv to describe them now. but since at this moment they are discussing bargains so i cont. typing.

in the village, i had to take care of the sick and injured... fun at 1st but soon i got a bit overworked... but at least i didn't mess anyone up. food was kinda bland but at least we could request to the cooks (2 young local girls) to cut down on oil and salt and etc. one thing to note: crapping in the wild is LIBERATING!!

yes, crapping means shitting, as one of my frens found out from me in this trip.

had 3-4 days of R & R... but it was kinda more like Rushings & Restrooms. we were rushed from attraction to attraction on tourist bus and by foot... walking dunno-how-many km to some china uni... slipping off wet rocks on western hills and caves... and lots of ppl were going toilet every hr to release the unhygienic, oily food.

now i'm in lijiang for my trip extension... in a grp of 11 - 6 guys 5 girls. all are fun ppl, and we hv lots of fun together... only 2 problems: we were kinda ambitious, planning to cover all tourist attractions in these few days and a grp of 11 is large and slow to move/decide... not a problem with the ppl, but the number. it's something i didn't plan on... oh well. there'll be other opportunities to travel. anyway, i'm more or less over china.. hahhah

will return to kunming tml nite, leave for bangkok the next day and return to sg on 1st july. my flight touches down at 9.20pm, if anyone is interested *ahem ahem*

well... i dunno abt this trip. on one hand it's great to be in china... but OTOH i'm kinda tired of being in a big grp, and feel a bit aimless liao....

my 3 girl frens with me are hungry liao... so gotta sign off. anyway to indulge them... they are cute, fun gals... great to be with... simply irresistible...

dear readers.. u know i didn't type those words.