Many Thoughts Part 2

After a "super" of laughs, i drove some of them home. and got into a debate with one of them, which i always enjoy. but unfortunately she hates debating anything with me coz i always reject views that are contrary to mine, seemingly without wanting to understand. well... that may be true, but not always. i hope. but anyway, kinda disappointed coz she didn't like interacting with me although i like interacting with her. maybe that's why we hvn't argued for so long. hahah.

i mean, disappointing rite? eg. the person u like hanging out with doesn't like to hang out with u? but anyway, although i'm a bit affected... i don't think i'll change that much. maybe put in more effort to understand where the other person is coming from, but there won't be any radical changes. coz

a) no offense, but i only make effort to change if i realise i really do need it to be the person i wanna be.
b) if i'm such a pushover, then i'm not my own person.
c) and when i do change, it's either from my own realisation or coz of someone very, very impt to me.
d) wat's the fun in arguing when the ppl u argue with agree? hahah. arguing is fun in a way coz i get to cross intellectual swords and spar verbally. i like to do that with intelligent, thoughtful ppl. that's why during NS i always followed orders, nv argued.

but thinking of these things plus sleepiness made me run thru a red light. i'm not sure with the white streak i saw was a redlight camera. oh well... i can afford some demerits anyway... since it's already done, no point harping over it.


anyway, over these 2 days, i felt a lot of weight on my shoulders over the 4-5 issues. i had to complete them all in those 2 days, and didn't really have anyone to unburden anything to. not to discredit anyone but sometimes things just don't go the way they should if someone else reluctantly takes up the burden. in fact just recently i experienced an incident which drove home the point "if u want things done right, do it urself."

so am i such a close-minded, distrusting person who wants things his way? my defense is that i am no pushover, i am my own person, and there are some things i can do better, or choose to put in more effort, than others. and of coz there are some tasks i choose to take on so i know wat's going on, learnt from the disasterous trip to thailand in 2001.

that said, i do love my group of best frens - it felt almost like a family supper, coz we're all so close. 1 small table, 7 ppl, and 3 conversations across the table simultaneously. u gotta love that. and i appreciate those frens who have been around me, helped me with stuff, and those who i'm doing stuff for, in these 2 days. maybe that's why i choose to take up the burdens as well; so that they are not disappointed.


well i shall not be bothering about these issues much anymore... job application done, no more gatherings until after exams, just left with one more city booking. all that is left for me to do these 1 1/2 wks is to study and keep fit. and maybe ask someone out for coffee. ;-)