I Tried.

didn't u see? can't u understand that different people have different capabilities? woe is me, my strengths are heavily unrecgonised, and all everyone can see are what i can't do.

I tried. i really did. the key difference is i had confidence this time round, until i saw what those academic bastards put there. i guess understanding is not enuff. need tips. need to regurgitate what is readily available.

i cannot just sit on my hands for 6 mths just to wait for one paper. i needed to add value to myself. i wanted to feel useful. i wanted to remain sane. i guess i hv to sit for 6mths after all.

how to live with myself rotting in my room all day for months? how to stay sane with just one fucking paper in mind?

i don't want to lose myself. i don't want to lose who i am. but this system doesn't hv a place for me.

those academic bastards. i want to stab them. and again. and again. and again. think they so fucking smart? i'm take a hammer and smash their brains out, to see what they're really made of.

i want to get out

i want to get out

i want to get out

i want to get out

i want to get out

i want to get out

i want to get out

i want to get out

i want to finally have a real life. i want to be free. i want to be me.