Should or Want?

Finally, finally, finally; at the end, with a dozen roads to choose from, and he wants, no, insists, that I go straight ahead.

That i should do something i am trained for.

That i should not dabble in other chapalang, half past six, anyone can do jobs.

That i should not end up like my good-for-nothing MLM relations. (this one i agree)

So how? Am i going to do wat i SHOULD do? or WANT to do? although i still do not know wat i WANT, I know wat i DON'T WANT, which incidentally happens to be wat i SHOULD do.

so how so how so how?

There are 5 options.

a) Do what I SHOULD do, suffer for another 13 years to make up an even 20, shrivel up, and die.

b) Do what I SHOULD do, suffer for another 3 years, leave with wat's left of my sanity to find another job, get rejected countless times coz of totally irrelevant experience, shrivel up, and die.

c) Do what I WANT to do, and suffer for it every evening when I get home.

d) Do what I WANT to do, and run away from home, sleep in a rarely-used closet/janitor room and live on colleagues' biscuits until I rise to manager and get an office - then i can sleep in there.

e) Do what I WANT to do, and let on that I'm doing what I SHOULD do, until I get found out.

Any suggestions?

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Added, 24 hrs later:

you guys can't think of a solution eh? no worries. I know what to do liao.

As usual, the answer came from me. Not becoz i'm insightful, but becoz i'm too stubborn to listen to anyone else.

must be humble. at first. later then exhalt also can, as long as i get there.