With the saga that's going on with AWARE, not that i'm anti-anti-gay, but i empathise with the 'old guard' who got unceremoniously booted from their own organisation.
http://sgblogs.com/entry/update-aware-exco-remains-silent/334122
Let's just say I know exactly how it feels. 'Traumatising' is one way to describe it. You feel betrayed, maybe a little like being dumped. The angry indignation that comes with injustice. The massive let-down that your hard work wasn't appreciated. The blindside that came just because you weren't chummy with the right people. And the silly arguments they used to justify them brushing you away. Most of all, the helplessness you feel when you can't do anything about it.
You feel hurt and angry - and walk out, wanting nothing to do with what you once loved so much. But over time you learn that the others too, are human. They make mistakes, and you learn to forgive. Of course it helps if they manage to show everyone else what idiots they are.
But you never forget.
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Signs of Ageing
Contrary to what old Hong Kong actresses yakking endlessly tell you in commercials, SK-II Miracle Water can't stop all the signs of ageing.
Nope, no amount of glorified rice water could have made the Old Folks' BBQ go on after 10pm.
My 1st BBQ which ended before Prime-time TV. A sign of things to come? I remember a time when BBQs ended long after midnight, when less hallmates would see me walking back to my room, bathed in oil/smoke/sauces/soft drinks and charcoal/food stains on my singlet. That's why i always wore a lousy old singlet to BBQs.
Come to think of it, the last BBQ where we played with edibles was in 2004. 4 years. (yes, i know i know, this is where i type 'time flies.')
Other Signs of Ageing observed:
- Instead of asking where to find lecturers, ppl were asking where to find Justices of Peace.
- No more $50 trips to Belumut with tents and messtins for this bunch! Lots of expensive plans to go to Taiwan, Japan, Australia, Russia and Africa.
- No need to pool taxis to go home or the nearest MRT station - everyone drove or was driven off.
Such was our shared history, and if we were all drawn to the gathering to re-live that little slice of history again, we did. Things change. Lives change. We all have more stories to be lived through, with some ODAC ones to be re-told again and again.
Nice to see everyone again. Really. =)
Nope, no amount of glorified rice water could have made the Old Folks' BBQ go on after 10pm.
My 1st BBQ which ended before Prime-time TV. A sign of things to come? I remember a time when BBQs ended long after midnight, when less hallmates would see me walking back to my room, bathed in oil/smoke/sauces/soft drinks and charcoal/food stains on my singlet. That's why i always wore a lousy old singlet to BBQs.
Come to think of it, the last BBQ where we played with edibles was in 2004. 4 years. (yes, i know i know, this is where i type 'time flies.')
Other Signs of Ageing observed:
- Instead of asking where to find lecturers, ppl were asking where to find Justices of Peace.
- No more $50 trips to Belumut with tents and messtins for this bunch! Lots of expensive plans to go to Taiwan, Japan, Australia, Russia and Africa.
- No need to pool taxis to go home or the nearest MRT station - everyone drove or was driven off.
Such was our shared history, and if we were all drawn to the gathering to re-live that little slice of history again, we did. Things change. Lives change. We all have more stories to be lived through, with some ODAC ones to be re-told again and again.
Nice to see everyone again. Really. =)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Post #301
Currently Playing: Pinch Me by Barenaked Ladies (Bathroom Sessions)
It's Post #301. And after 1.5 mths of not coming in, i've almost forgotten my password.
I hvn't come in coz
a) no time, no energy due to work
b) nothing really, really interesting to write about.
Tonite I finally have some inspiration to write - just returned home from ktv + dinner + card game + anti-climax failed surprise birthday with adsports2 ppl. we had lots of laughs during ktv, poor planning on my part caused us to miss the birthday girl, and she didnt pick up her phone after we went all the way to below her block. lots more laughs when playing cards. and squeezing in the car was part of the fun.
But it's not the events of the evening I want to talk about. It's about how far we've come. We got together, what - 6 years ago? and when we come together, 3 times a year? everything comes back - the jokes, the chemistry, the friendship, all the good stuff. I guess maybe it's best to keep expectations away, and enjoy what you have already.
How far we've come. or to be more precise, how far i've come. in terms of material-wise, from a poor student who had a poor sense of money, to earning a comfortable amount and very aware of that difference betw kopitiam and starbucks is a whopping $4.50. maybe compared to certain groups of frens, i'm not earning as much. but i've happened to meet others who are seriously stuck in a career rut and faring poorly. so i'll consider myself doing ok.
That said, how far I've come in terms of outlook as well. Maybe it due to the comings and goings at work, i realised i've become a bit more zen in my thinking. I'm no longer that reckless, that callous anymore. Now I simply do what I think should be done, treat everyone nicely and help as much as I can without compromising myself. Coz I now know what goes around comes around. If shit happens, no worries - just brush it away and it flows off, like water off a duck's back. Take care of yourself, and the people around you, and the universe will find an equilibrium.
So I think I've grown up a bit more. just a little. And I want to thank all of those who have been around - coz that's where influence comes from. Of course major credit would be due to my parents and my mentor, but everyone chipped in as well.
So, thank you. Now i'm in a better position than in uni (of course), and everything seems ok. healthy finances, good jobs, family healthy and quite content, generally in good health, quite a few close frens, quite a number of frens i can get along and play with, and still wide open spaces ahead of me. considering some of the ppl ard me, I can say that I am blessed. just 1 more blessing and I would be happy, content - someone to love.
just 1 more.
It's Post #301. And after 1.5 mths of not coming in, i've almost forgotten my password.
I hvn't come in coz
a) no time, no energy due to work
b) nothing really, really interesting to write about.
Tonite I finally have some inspiration to write - just returned home from ktv + dinner + card game + anti-climax failed surprise birthday with adsports2 ppl. we had lots of laughs during ktv, poor planning on my part caused us to miss the birthday girl, and she didnt pick up her phone after we went all the way to below her block. lots more laughs when playing cards. and squeezing in the car was part of the fun.
But it's not the events of the evening I want to talk about. It's about how far we've come. We got together, what - 6 years ago? and when we come together, 3 times a year? everything comes back - the jokes, the chemistry, the friendship, all the good stuff. I guess maybe it's best to keep expectations away, and enjoy what you have already.
How far we've come. or to be more precise, how far i've come. in terms of material-wise, from a poor student who had a poor sense of money, to earning a comfortable amount and very aware of that difference betw kopitiam and starbucks is a whopping $4.50. maybe compared to certain groups of frens, i'm not earning as much. but i've happened to meet others who are seriously stuck in a career rut and faring poorly. so i'll consider myself doing ok.
That said, how far I've come in terms of outlook as well. Maybe it due to the comings and goings at work, i realised i've become a bit more zen in my thinking. I'm no longer that reckless, that callous anymore. Now I simply do what I think should be done, treat everyone nicely and help as much as I can without compromising myself. Coz I now know what goes around comes around. If shit happens, no worries - just brush it away and it flows off, like water off a duck's back. Take care of yourself, and the people around you, and the universe will find an equilibrium.
So I think I've grown up a bit more. just a little. And I want to thank all of those who have been around - coz that's where influence comes from. Of course major credit would be due to my parents and my mentor, but everyone chipped in as well.
So, thank you. Now i'm in a better position than in uni (of course), and everything seems ok. healthy finances, good jobs, family healthy and quite content, generally in good health, quite a few close frens, quite a number of frens i can get along and play with, and still wide open spaces ahead of me. considering some of the ppl ard me, I can say that I am blessed. just 1 more blessing and I would be happy, content - someone to love.
just 1 more.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Anyone But Me
I do so much and yet I don't get what I deserve.
I'm tired and don't want to fight on anymore but I cannot bring myself to stop. I cannot let myself down.
Building bridges, fighting fires.
For either outcome there is the natural reaction, so no need to think so much.
And got to remind myself the words of Morpheus.
I'm tired and don't want to fight on anymore but I cannot bring myself to stop. I cannot let myself down.
Building bridges, fighting fires.
For either outcome there is the natural reaction, so no need to think so much.
And got to remind myself the words of Morpheus.
"Everything that has a beginning, has an end."
Sunday, April 13, 2008
So Many Thots, So Little Time
World:
1) Free Tibet - not necessarily independence, but at least autonomomy to keep their unique culture and language, and not being forced out by fricking chinamen from their own homelands
2) Maths Whiz turns Hooker: Clients are turned on by intellect - Yeah rite. unless ur clients are dirty China maths professors from NTU who steal students' underwear. At such high rates, maybe you could throw in marking a few tutorials for free as well?
Home:
1) MRT squeeze situation - getting slightly better. Now can take out handphone from pocket without jabbing someone with my elbow. But then again I've been going to work late almost everyday for the past week. Long term solution: Get a car. to hell with the environment, I'll make it up in terms of saving water and electricity and reducing waste.
2) ERP gantries - why not just install 2 outside every carpark? one collects $$$ for entry and parking, the other collects $$$ for usage. then you can control opposition wards by charging higher rates until they submit. stop punishing the stauch heartland supporters at toa payoh.
3) Escaped Terrorist - who? oh that guy. old news. everyone's forgotten about him liao, until he comes back and blows something up and kills ppl. (if he is still alive). Gahmen searches are now intelligence based and more focused. (read: relying on tip-offs) Every week still has super-interesting news like "I thot i saw mas alamak" or "how mas alamak can survive in the forest". how about something really newsworthy like "mas alamak found dead, bloated and maggot-ridden in dengue infested swamp"
4) Rich Sports Indon wants his money back from China Sports Woman - doesn't this story sound familiar? dude! how gullible could you get! she's a china woman, of coz she'll take ur money and run! and snap back saying how nice she was and how calculative you are. Let this be a lesson to you and all rich indons and hum sup singaporean men.
Work:
1) Colleagues - lots of nonsensical promos going on. Obnoxious tyrannical sarcastic GM getting on my nerves and oppressing my frens. Buddy at work leaving for greener pastures. Still no manager in sight. Director who everyone loves getting replaced by (anal?) chosen race from HQ. Too many aggressive-want-their-way ppl in the company. This place cannot stay long.
2) Work - after 5 non-5-day work weeks and 2 slacking and fire-fighting weeks, finally see what i should be doing. intensive work week coming up. and will have to cut out unnecessary fire-fighting.
Life:
1) After Work - not much. Last week:
Monday - treated malaysian colleague to insanely expensive and not-worth-it dinner.
Tuesday - stayed back late with supplier to understand contract together.
Wednesay - heng heng managed to get a fren for dinner.
Thursday - work late.
Friday - dinner with work-buddy.
4 / 5 work related evenings. but friday still can be considered as with a fren lah.
2) Hobbies - Been trying to exercise regularly. but weekday evenings always occupied.
Average camera activity is once a month or less. Haven't touched guitar in months.
Sleep is a necessary waste of time. The life I want needs more than 24hrs a day.
1) Free Tibet - not necessarily independence, but at least autonomomy to keep their unique culture and language, and not being forced out by fricking chinamen from their own homelands
2) Maths Whiz turns Hooker: Clients are turned on by intellect - Yeah rite. unless ur clients are dirty China maths professors from NTU who steal students' underwear. At such high rates, maybe you could throw in marking a few tutorials for free as well?
Home:
1) MRT squeeze situation - getting slightly better. Now can take out handphone from pocket without jabbing someone with my elbow. But then again I've been going to work late almost everyday for the past week. Long term solution: Get a car. to hell with the environment, I'll make it up in terms of saving water and electricity and reducing waste.
2) ERP gantries - why not just install 2 outside every carpark? one collects $$$ for entry and parking, the other collects $$$ for usage. then you can control opposition wards by charging higher rates until they submit. stop punishing the stauch heartland supporters at toa payoh.
3) Escaped Terrorist - who? oh that guy. old news. everyone's forgotten about him liao, until he comes back and blows something up and kills ppl. (if he is still alive). Gahmen searches are now intelligence based and more focused. (read: relying on tip-offs) Every week still has super-interesting news like "I thot i saw mas alamak" or "how mas alamak can survive in the forest". how about something really newsworthy like "mas alamak found dead, bloated and maggot-ridden in dengue infested swamp"
4) Rich Sports Indon wants his money back from China Sports Woman - doesn't this story sound familiar? dude! how gullible could you get! she's a china woman, of coz she'll take ur money and run! and snap back saying how nice she was and how calculative you are. Let this be a lesson to you and all rich indons and hum sup singaporean men.
Work:
1) Colleagues - lots of nonsensical promos going on. Obnoxious tyrannical sarcastic GM getting on my nerves and oppressing my frens. Buddy at work leaving for greener pastures. Still no manager in sight. Director who everyone loves getting replaced by (anal?) chosen race from HQ. Too many aggressive-want-their-way ppl in the company. This place cannot stay long.
2) Work - after 5 non-5-day work weeks and 2 slacking and fire-fighting weeks, finally see what i should be doing. intensive work week coming up. and will have to cut out unnecessary fire-fighting.
Life:
1) After Work - not much. Last week:
Monday - treated malaysian colleague to insanely expensive and not-worth-it dinner.
Tuesday - stayed back late with supplier to understand contract together.
Wednesay - heng heng managed to get a fren for dinner.
Thursday - work late.
Friday - dinner with work-buddy.
4 / 5 work related evenings. but friday still can be considered as with a fren lah.
2) Hobbies - Been trying to exercise regularly. but weekday evenings always occupied.
Average camera activity is once a month or less. Haven't touched guitar in months.
Sleep is a necessary waste of time. The life I want needs more than 24hrs a day.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Status Quo
Am i supposed to feel good that things didnt change for the worse? For me anyway. But its not just about me. Its also about how the others are treated, what happens to them. Coz they are the ppl i interact directly with.
Now the only difference is knowing that some things aren't changing. at least for now. next time will be on my terms.
Now the only difference is knowing that some things aren't changing. at least for now. next time will be on my terms.
Monday, March 10, 2008
On Leave
I'm on leave last friday and this monday. Of course, that means 2 less days of work -projects/reports get delayed, emails go unanswered and reviews do not continue. So like any sad sack whose never ending job fits his compulsive nature, I save raw data in my thumbdrive to convert into reports while i'm on leave and over the weekend.
But 3 days later, it's still raw. i'm playing tomb raider, i'm playing men of valor, i'm following malaysian general elections, i'm reading the kite runner, i'm reading newspapers, i'm watching the news, i'm watching youtube, i'm playing facebook, i'm surfing blogs, i'm thinking what a beautiful day it is outside - if only i could drag my lazyass out and run.
something's missing.
But 3 days later, it's still raw. i'm playing tomb raider, i'm playing men of valor, i'm following malaysian general elections, i'm reading the kite runner, i'm reading newspapers, i'm watching the news, i'm watching youtube, i'm playing facebook, i'm surfing blogs, i'm thinking what a beautiful day it is outside - if only i could drag my lazyass out and run.
something's missing.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Falls Apart
it's one of the songs in Sugar Ray's 14:59 album, with me since 1999. Haven't listened to it for very long, so searched and pulled it out. coz this song seems so apt right now. plus, i like every song in the album, which is rare.
Things are falling apart. At work. in Feb 2007 i found my dream job. Data collection, analysis, presentation n recomendation; project work; and what i produce affects the way the company operates, whether in sg, or other SEA countries. Meaning i'm doing stuff that i like, and it makes a difference. with a nurturing, coaching boss who lives his life in a way i look up to (a rarity), and a caring, capable, chio colleague who made me see fireworks when she smiled.
a short 10 months into this dream job, and its starting to come apart. changes will be happening. it's not fair - i hvn't even had my dream job for 1 year. i was actually aiming for 2 yrs. but then of coz i'm painfully aware that life is never fair.
my boss told me that from now until mid feb, things will be intense. i predict up to march, and am mentally preparing myself for 12 hrs a day everyday for 2 mths. no need to make dinner appointments anymore. maybe weekends too. but no worries. i can handle whatever is thrown at me. bring it on. (haha)
Happy New Year.
===================================================================================
I once told her my reason for 'risky' mountain climbing, diving, backpacking trips: "I want to go close to the edge, so I can see how far the drop is." At that time I didn't know how encompassing that sentence would be.
Things are falling apart. At work. in Feb 2007 i found my dream job. Data collection, analysis, presentation n recomendation; project work; and what i produce affects the way the company operates, whether in sg, or other SEA countries. Meaning i'm doing stuff that i like, and it makes a difference. with a nurturing, coaching boss who lives his life in a way i look up to (a rarity), and a caring, capable, chio colleague who made me see fireworks when she smiled.
a short 10 months into this dream job, and its starting to come apart. changes will be happening. it's not fair - i hvn't even had my dream job for 1 year. i was actually aiming for 2 yrs. but then of coz i'm painfully aware that life is never fair.
my boss told me that from now until mid feb, things will be intense. i predict up to march, and am mentally preparing myself for 12 hrs a day everyday for 2 mths. no need to make dinner appointments anymore. maybe weekends too. but no worries. i can handle whatever is thrown at me. bring it on. (haha)
Happy New Year.
===================================================================================
I once told her my reason for 'risky' mountain climbing, diving, backpacking trips: "I want to go close to the edge, so I can see how far the drop is." At that time I didn't know how encompassing that sentence would be.
Friday, November 16, 2007
4th November 2007
Another year. ok another year + 2 weeks - been busy doing nothing.
Seems like birthdays are for reflections. Sadly, the only major change from a year ago is that I'm not listening to that Zero 7 CD anymore. I last did about 2-3 mths ago, so not that keen on hearing it yet. Stuck on the Pretenders, the Proclaimers, Keane.
Of course work-wise I'm in a better position that before. I like what I'm doing, enough to put in extra hours for nothing. and everyone knows that. So enough said.
But seem to be getting less friends. 1 year ago I could fill up my week easily. Nowadays I spend more evenings at work than dinner outside. At least colleagues are fun. But becoming far away from once-close friends. Now we have less in common, so we don't feel the want to meet up so often. Even when we do it's the same things. Bitching about work. Met so-and-so recently. Who got married. Oh have you tried that what at that where yet? You should go, that what damn nice.
I guess that's it already. most of my life is now work. remainder is camera, exercise, travelling, playing games, zoning out. It's ok - I'm doing what I like. But of coz, don't we always want something more?
Shouting Thank-yous out to the following ppl:
- girl / sonya / nid / zz for dinner n ktv session
- birthday smses from:
zow / vj / MY BOSS(!!) / alw / bowl / my YEP nurse who never forgets / qi / qz / long / ally / chel / liping / cousin / xt / yx.
- my family, always
- and the hairy crabs we consumed
vietnam in 2 days.
Seems like birthdays are for reflections. Sadly, the only major change from a year ago is that I'm not listening to that Zero 7 CD anymore. I last did about 2-3 mths ago, so not that keen on hearing it yet. Stuck on the Pretenders, the Proclaimers, Keane.
Of course work-wise I'm in a better position that before. I like what I'm doing, enough to put in extra hours for nothing. and everyone knows that. So enough said.
But seem to be getting less friends. 1 year ago I could fill up my week easily. Nowadays I spend more evenings at work than dinner outside. At least colleagues are fun. But becoming far away from once-close friends. Now we have less in common, so we don't feel the want to meet up so often. Even when we do it's the same things. Bitching about work. Met so-and-so recently. Who got married. Oh have you tried that what at that where yet? You should go, that what damn nice.
I guess that's it already. most of my life is now work. remainder is camera, exercise, travelling, playing games, zoning out. It's ok - I'm doing what I like. But of coz, don't we always want something more?
Shouting Thank-yous out to the following ppl:
- girl / sonya / nid / zz for dinner n ktv session
- birthday smses from:
zow / vj / MY BOSS(!!) / alw / bowl / my YEP nurse who never forgets / qi / qz / long / ally / chel / liping / cousin / xt / yx.
- my family, always
- and the hairy crabs we consumed
vietnam in 2 days.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Life, Now.
Currently Playing: Over Our Heads by Zero 7
Does anyone still read this? or given up due to lack of updates? hahah. my part 2 next week never happened. guess it kinda sums up what's going on right now.
Haven't blogged for more than a month now - maybe i'm out-growing this. but i feel i shd explain.
Work has been tough - the past month i've been really stretched, as promised by the boss. so much that last last week my colleague working with me can actually see the strain. hahaha. overwhelmed, my brain slows down to keep track of everything happening, which of coz causes me to lose track of even more. let's see... I had to set up and coordinate surveys for local & overseas colleagues, come up with a 1.5hr presentation for visitors from the HQ, had a course coming up the following week, and had to play nanny to a noob auditor.
I don't blame the auditor at all - but there were times i showed my frustration to her coz entire days were spent with her while other a/m deadlines were approaching. on the friday dept meeting i was quite sure that the audit issues wld be settled that day itself, and while coordination work on the surveys were done, i told my boss that i wld finish the untouched presentation over the wkend. and went for half day to take a badly, badly needed rest - the following week i wld be on course full time 5 days.
wrong. prob due to the work stress + non-exercise from long hrs the past mth i kena flu. i thot ok, miss 1 day of the course, still got 80% mah. anyway i already know my stuff.
wrong. tue when i stepped into office my boss told me auditor got issues. u can join the course tml. i'll take philipines, vietnam, malaysia issues. you take thailand and indonesia.
*due to sleepy cough mixture + sleepy runny nose meds, i cannot remember anything else from that day.
wednesday i had remarks all round that i looked much better - coz i threw the meds away. spent 1 hr on the phone getting colleague in indonesia to explain the discrepancies. coordinated with thai colleague. figured out wat philipines' problems were by myself - concerned colleague was missing from desk. rest of the day busy with can't-rem-wat. just busy.
thursday friday whole day speaking to colleague in thailand. audit deadline extended to next tuesday - it shd have ended the week before. i hate audits. the course was forfeited.
that's a sample work week. will stay until 9pm at least once a week, on good weeks. at work never have time to surf. never ending task list. and one task always leads to another. sometimes bring work home on weekends.
so for this past month even if i come back home with time to run/cycle, i got no energy to do so. even on wkends, i got no energy to do anything. did not turn up for company excursion to JB, earning the wrath of those who organised it. had to push away organising company sports club events, earning more. did not turn up for terry fox, wasting $30. couldn't even find the time/energy to go collect the race pack.
my dslr lies untouched in the case for a month now, my guitar much longer. fren wanted to meet up last minute on a weekend. no, i replied. i need a break from everything. i'm part of everything? he snapped/whined/quizzed (by sms, can't tell tone). Yes. Everything is part of Everything.
don;t get me wrong - i still love what i'm doing. it's still interesting, i have a fun colleague, an encouraging boss and i will not let myself snap from being stretched - i want to be able to take on bigger roles, more tasks. but so much of my energy is being eaten up, i need another break, for a chance to rejuvenate and refocus.
so north vietnam, here i come!!
Does anyone still read this? or given up due to lack of updates? hahah. my part 2 next week never happened. guess it kinda sums up what's going on right now.
Haven't blogged for more than a month now - maybe i'm out-growing this. but i feel i shd explain.
Work has been tough - the past month i've been really stretched, as promised by the boss. so much that last last week my colleague working with me can actually see the strain. hahaha. overwhelmed, my brain slows down to keep track of everything happening, which of coz causes me to lose track of even more. let's see... I had to set up and coordinate surveys for local & overseas colleagues, come up with a 1.5hr presentation for visitors from the HQ, had a course coming up the following week, and had to play nanny to a noob auditor.
I don't blame the auditor at all - but there were times i showed my frustration to her coz entire days were spent with her while other a/m deadlines were approaching. on the friday dept meeting i was quite sure that the audit issues wld be settled that day itself, and while coordination work on the surveys were done, i told my boss that i wld finish the untouched presentation over the wkend. and went for half day to take a badly, badly needed rest - the following week i wld be on course full time 5 days.
wrong. prob due to the work stress + non-exercise from long hrs the past mth i kena flu. i thot ok, miss 1 day of the course, still got 80% mah. anyway i already know my stuff.
wrong. tue when i stepped into office my boss told me auditor got issues. u can join the course tml. i'll take philipines, vietnam, malaysia issues. you take thailand and indonesia.
*due to sleepy cough mixture + sleepy runny nose meds, i cannot remember anything else from that day.
wednesday i had remarks all round that i looked much better - coz i threw the meds away. spent 1 hr on the phone getting colleague in indonesia to explain the discrepancies. coordinated with thai colleague. figured out wat philipines' problems were by myself - concerned colleague was missing from desk. rest of the day busy with can't-rem-wat. just busy.
thursday friday whole day speaking to colleague in thailand. audit deadline extended to next tuesday - it shd have ended the week before. i hate audits. the course was forfeited.
that's a sample work week. will stay until 9pm at least once a week, on good weeks. at work never have time to surf. never ending task list. and one task always leads to another. sometimes bring work home on weekends.
so for this past month even if i come back home with time to run/cycle, i got no energy to do so. even on wkends, i got no energy to do anything. did not turn up for company excursion to JB, earning the wrath of those who organised it. had to push away organising company sports club events, earning more. did not turn up for terry fox, wasting $30. couldn't even find the time/energy to go collect the race pack.
my dslr lies untouched in the case for a month now, my guitar much longer. fren wanted to meet up last minute on a weekend. no, i replied. i need a break from everything. i'm part of everything? he snapped/whined/quizzed (by sms, can't tell tone). Yes. Everything is part of Everything.
don;t get me wrong - i still love what i'm doing. it's still interesting, i have a fun colleague, an encouraging boss and i will not let myself snap from being stretched - i want to be able to take on bigger roles, more tasks. but so much of my energy is being eaten up, i need another break, for a chance to rejuvenate and refocus.
so north vietnam, here i come!!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
80's Cartoons
Been looking around for old cartoons on the web, after Transformers came out. There are plenty of old Transformers cartoons out there, apparently. If you're an 80's kid who never quite grew up, like me, please enjoy:
Centurions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHajER-qygA
Visionaries (anyone can find more episodes?): http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/visionaries+cartoon/video/xvmfh_visionaries-01-the-age-of-magic-beg_fun/1
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/masters+of+the+universe/video/x16j0g_heman-promotional-introduction_fun
Bravestarr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE3F5dot4pk
Defenders of the Earth: http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/defenders+of+the+earth/video/x21ybj_defenders-of-the-earth_family/1
Dinosaucers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv2ndRhnc9c
The Real Ghostbusters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ePpHAfVpw
G.I. Joe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YjfGex5JHY
M.A.S.K. : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1_76ZAq9d0&mode=related&search=
Silverhawks: http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/silverhawks/video/x1zgw1_silverhawks-01-the-origin-story_shortfilms/1
part 2 next week.
Centurions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHajER-qygA
Visionaries (anyone can find more episodes?): http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/visionaries+cartoon/video/xvmfh_visionaries-01-the-age-of-magic-beg_fun/1
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/masters+of+the+universe/video/x16j0g_heman-promotional-introduction_fun
Bravestarr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE3F5dot4pk
Defenders of the Earth: http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/defenders+of+the+earth/video/x21ybj_defenders-of-the-earth_family/1
Dinosaucers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv2ndRhnc9c
The Real Ghostbusters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ePpHAfVpw
G.I. Joe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YjfGex5JHY
M.A.S.K. : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1_76ZAq9d0&mode=related&search=
Silverhawks: http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/silverhawks/video/x1zgw1_silverhawks-01-the-origin-story_shortfilms/1
part 2 next week.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Nothing Much to Say
work is work. work is fun. work is varied. work is overwhelming. work is slack. work is hectic. maybe that's y i like it.
playing with new dSLR. maybe a bit too much. after taking 1 wedding dinner and 1 ROM, started to see things in frames and focusing even after i kept my camera. thats when i realised i need a break. not taking dSLR out of the dry box this wkend.
playing with computer instead. been watching old transformers G1 cartoons, playing old koei game unchartered waters 2, and not getting enuff sleep. fall asleep at work, body takes a longer time to recover from physical activity. have to stop.
working with photos. sick of the photos i took. sick of comparing them to see which ones to keep and which ones to throw. like playing photo hunt over n over again. yet i hope others wun get sick of them.
3 wonderful events. ktv w zow, girl, and zz made a guest appearance. qz & yb's ROM, which was great. zow's birthday surprise - v fun. hmmm. wat if? oh well, no pt anymore.
that's been my last 2 weeks. boring, time flies past fast. yet, i like it. for now.
playing with new dSLR. maybe a bit too much. after taking 1 wedding dinner and 1 ROM, started to see things in frames and focusing even after i kept my camera. thats when i realised i need a break. not taking dSLR out of the dry box this wkend.
playing with computer instead. been watching old transformers G1 cartoons, playing old koei game unchartered waters 2, and not getting enuff sleep. fall asleep at work, body takes a longer time to recover from physical activity. have to stop.
working with photos. sick of the photos i took. sick of comparing them to see which ones to keep and which ones to throw. like playing photo hunt over n over again. yet i hope others wun get sick of them.
3 wonderful events. ktv w zow, girl, and zz made a guest appearance. qz & yb's ROM, which was great. zow's birthday surprise - v fun. hmmm. wat if? oh well, no pt anymore.
that's been my last 2 weeks. boring, time flies past fast. yet, i like it. for now.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Once Again, Been a While
almost a month since my last entry. maybe i've lost the momentum for blogging. maybe i'm too busy anyway. lets back track.
weekdays all busy with work.
last wkend: went diving, canon A75 camera drowned. sad coz it helped me with so many memories. got feelings u know... i wanted to list the trips i went with it here but i realise there's too many. will try to salvage it in the coming week - going to canon service centre. no money to buy new one coz of 2 wkends before.
2 wkends ago: played with my new toy. watched a disappointing shrek 3.
3 wkends ago: bought my new toy + accessories for $1936 in all!! woohoo!! saved abt $350.
that's it i guess. need to sleep. full diving story at roamings.
weekdays all busy with work.
last wkend: went diving, canon A75 camera drowned. sad coz it helped me with so many memories. got feelings u know... i wanted to list the trips i went with it here but i realise there's too many. will try to salvage it in the coming week - going to canon service centre. no money to buy new one coz of 2 wkends before.
2 wkends ago: played with my new toy. watched a disappointing shrek 3.
3 wkends ago: bought my new toy + accessories for $1936 in all!! woohoo!! saved abt $350.
that's it i guess. need to sleep. full diving story at roamings.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
After Bali 2 - Work is Rest in Between Trips
It's been almost a week since returning - my 2nd toenail on left foot is still black, and the tip of the toe is numb. that long cut on my right shin is now a peeling strip bak kwa, and i've been shedding dead skin for 7 days. and i almost died. again.
well maybe it wasn't as close a shave as last time. but even though i could hardly keep awake on monday and tuesday, i've nv been more thankful to go back to work. to be in a safe, airconditioned office in a comfortable swivel chair messing abt with excel sheets. but i was so floozy from lack of sleep i totally didn't feel the tremors that whole of CBD panicked over - even laughed at girl colleagues felt it. twice. at my desk i was falling asleep after lunch, and too spaced out to tok cock to my lunch buddies - they said i was really quiet those few days.
But at the same time, I'm strangely happy/grateful that i went for this trip. nothing like a life threatening journey to make u realise how lucky u r, and how much u've left behind getting lost on mountains.
I had quite a few hallucinations along the trek, the funniest being the Taxi Stand, and the worst being of me slipping very badly on a wet boulder on a river bed, and cracking my head open. my brain wld be splattered all over the rocks, and my companions too tired and too far from end point to drag my remains down. i wld then be left there for days and half eaten by animals before being returned to my understandably upset family.
I guess it stemmed from
a) see QZ slip and slide down a wet boulder on a river bed earlier during the trek rite in front of me and realising i couldn't do anything to help him, and
b) wanting to read "Lord of the Flies" again but a fren is still holding on to the book after 2 yrs.
And i've come to realise that yes, as i grow older i am more and more kiasee, but it is not death that scares me as much as wat my loved ones will have to go thru. so stumbling down the dormant volcano really made me realise wat was really impt.
so here's my dilemma - stopping all these dangerous activities and start to take things for granted? or continue and risk making my loved ones worried?
i think i'll let both sides balance each other out. take things for granted and go for trips, then come back home freaked out and go for trips again when the fear has been forgotten. then wonder why i wanted to climb the mountain 2 hrs into the trek. sorta vicious cycle.
Traveller's Tales, as usual, at http://rockies-roamings.blogspot.com/
well maybe it wasn't as close a shave as last time. but even though i could hardly keep awake on monday and tuesday, i've nv been more thankful to go back to work. to be in a safe, airconditioned office in a comfortable swivel chair messing abt with excel sheets. but i was so floozy from lack of sleep i totally didn't feel the tremors that whole of CBD panicked over - even laughed at girl colleagues felt it. twice. at my desk i was falling asleep after lunch, and too spaced out to tok cock to my lunch buddies - they said i was really quiet those few days.
But at the same time, I'm strangely happy/grateful that i went for this trip. nothing like a life threatening journey to make u realise how lucky u r, and how much u've left behind getting lost on mountains.
I had quite a few hallucinations along the trek, the funniest being the Taxi Stand, and the worst being of me slipping very badly on a wet boulder on a river bed, and cracking my head open. my brain wld be splattered all over the rocks, and my companions too tired and too far from end point to drag my remains down. i wld then be left there for days and half eaten by animals before being returned to my understandably upset family.
I guess it stemmed from
a) see QZ slip and slide down a wet boulder on a river bed earlier during the trek rite in front of me and realising i couldn't do anything to help him, and
b) wanting to read "Lord of the Flies" again but a fren is still holding on to the book after 2 yrs.
And i've come to realise that yes, as i grow older i am more and more kiasee, but it is not death that scares me as much as wat my loved ones will have to go thru. so stumbling down the dormant volcano really made me realise wat was really impt.
so here's my dilemma - stopping all these dangerous activities and start to take things for granted? or continue and risk making my loved ones worried?
i think i'll let both sides balance each other out. take things for granted and go for trips, then come back home freaked out and go for trips again when the fear has been forgotten. then wonder why i wanted to climb the mountain 2 hrs into the trek. sorta vicious cycle.
Traveller's Tales, as usual, at http://rockies-roamings.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Nothing but Sleep
i think sleep is a waste of time. and not only that, i can't seem to tell how much i need.
if i don't sleep enuff, i'll be falling asleep at work if it's too boring. or i'll be taking naps and wasting time in the afternoon. if i dun get enuff sleep, i can't think. i'm sure its the same for everyone.
if i sleep too much until next morning/afternoon, i get a migraine, and will have to spend the rest of the day sleeping it off. whole wkend gone. (there's no such thing as too much sleep on a working day)
like today. i slept too late, at 4am watching vcds (wat else is there to do during CNY?). woke up 12nn, still feeling ok. took a badly needed nap at 4pm. woke up 5.30pm with stabbing pain in my eye. or eye socket. cold sweat. shivering - too cold for the fan but too hot without it. pain pain pain in the head. room wobbly. no, didn't eat magic mushrooms. too pain to continue sleeping. took painkiller, took coffee.
and slowly, slowly, things got back to almost normal in half hr.
i hate sleep. it's a complete waste of time when i can be doing other stuff. but sleep is essential, else i can't think. right now 6hrs is survival, 7hrs is total rest. anything more on a wkday night is downright unnatural. wkends if i wake up later than 12.30 pm, welcome to migraine metropolis.
and frankly, i want a reason to get up early on wkends - so that i dun waste them.
i just might be getting my wish soon. of my own doing, of coz. since when do things simply happen by accident?
if i don't sleep enuff, i'll be falling asleep at work if it's too boring. or i'll be taking naps and wasting time in the afternoon. if i dun get enuff sleep, i can't think. i'm sure its the same for everyone.
if i sleep too much until next morning/afternoon, i get a migraine, and will have to spend the rest of the day sleeping it off. whole wkend gone. (there's no such thing as too much sleep on a working day)
like today. i slept too late, at 4am watching vcds (wat else is there to do during CNY?). woke up 12nn, still feeling ok. took a badly needed nap at 4pm. woke up 5.30pm with stabbing pain in my eye. or eye socket. cold sweat. shivering - too cold for the fan but too hot without it. pain pain pain in the head. room wobbly. no, didn't eat magic mushrooms. too pain to continue sleeping. took painkiller, took coffee.
and slowly, slowly, things got back to almost normal in half hr.
i hate sleep. it's a complete waste of time when i can be doing other stuff. but sleep is essential, else i can't think. right now 6hrs is survival, 7hrs is total rest. anything more on a wkday night is downright unnatural. wkends if i wake up later than 12.30 pm, welcome to migraine metropolis.
and frankly, i want a reason to get up early on wkends - so that i dun waste them.
i just might be getting my wish soon. of my own doing, of coz. since when do things simply happen by accident?
Saturday, January 27, 2007
www.procrastinus.com
I need to:
- blog abt fraser's hill and stuff that's bothering me
- do research on bali
- do research on KK
- do research on insurance
- exercise
- practice guitar
and i went to www.procrastinus.com, which told me a lot of what I already know.
===================================================================
Your score is
66 out of a possible 100
Above Average Procrastinator
You rank between the top 25% and 10% in terms of procrastination. That is, when it comes to putting things off, you often do so even though you know you shouldn’t. Likely, you are more free-spirited and spontaneous than most. Probably, your work doesn’t engage you as much as you would like or perhaps you are surrounded by easily available and more pleasant temptations. These temptations may initially seem rewarding, but in the longer-term, you see many of them as time-wasters. Though you likely often still get your work done, there is probably a lot of last minute panicking and unwanted stress. You may want to reduce what procrastination you do commit. If so, here are three tips that have been shown to work:
Goal Setting
This is one of the most established ways of moving forward on your plans. Take any project you are presently procrastinating and break it down into individual steps. Each of these steps should have the following three aspects. First, they should be somewhat challenging though achievable for you. It is more satisfying to accomplish a challenge. Second, they should be proximal, that is you can achieve them fairly soon, preferable today or over the next few days. Third, they should be specific, that is you know exactly when you have accomplished them. If you can visualize in your mind what you should do, even better.
Stimulus Control
This method has also been well tested and is very successful. What you need is a single place that you do your work and nothing else. Essentially, you need an office, though many students have a favorite desk at a library. For stimulus control to work best, the office or desk should be free of any signs of temptation or easily available distractions that might pull you away (e.g., no games, no chit-chat, no web-surfing). If you need a break, that is fine, but make sure you have it someplace at least a few minutes distant, preferably outside of the building itself. If you are unwilling to take the time to get there, acknowledge that you likely don’t need the break.
Routines
Routines are difficult to get into but in the end, this is often our aim. Things are much easier to do when we get into a habit of them, whether it is work, exercise, or errands. If you schedule some of those tasks you are presently procrastinating upon so that they occur on a regular schedule, they become easier. Start your routine slowly, something to which you can easily commit. Eventually, like brushing your teeth, it will likely become something you just do, not taking much effort at all. At this point, you might add to your routine, again always keeping your overall level of effort at a moderate to low level. Importantly, when you fall off your routine, inevitable with sickness or the unexpected, get back on it as soon as possible. Your routine gets stronger every time your follow it. It also gets weaker every time you don’t.
===================================================================
OK, copied and pasted, now back to insurance research.
Right after a round of FarCry.
Promise.
- blog abt fraser's hill and stuff that's bothering me
- do research on bali
- do research on KK
- do research on insurance
- exercise
- practice guitar
and i went to www.procrastinus.com, which told me a lot of what I already know.
===================================================================
Your score is
66 out of a possible 100
Above Average Procrastinator
You rank between the top 25% and 10% in terms of procrastination. That is, when it comes to putting things off, you often do so even though you know you shouldn’t. Likely, you are more free-spirited and spontaneous than most. Probably, your work doesn’t engage you as much as you would like or perhaps you are surrounded by easily available and more pleasant temptations. These temptations may initially seem rewarding, but in the longer-term, you see many of them as time-wasters. Though you likely often still get your work done, there is probably a lot of last minute panicking and unwanted stress. You may want to reduce what procrastination you do commit. If so, here are three tips that have been shown to work:
Goal Setting
This is one of the most established ways of moving forward on your plans. Take any project you are presently procrastinating and break it down into individual steps. Each of these steps should have the following three aspects. First, they should be somewhat challenging though achievable for you. It is more satisfying to accomplish a challenge. Second, they should be proximal, that is you can achieve them fairly soon, preferable today or over the next few days. Third, they should be specific, that is you know exactly when you have accomplished them. If you can visualize in your mind what you should do, even better.
Stimulus Control
This method has also been well tested and is very successful. What you need is a single place that you do your work and nothing else. Essentially, you need an office, though many students have a favorite desk at a library. For stimulus control to work best, the office or desk should be free of any signs of temptation or easily available distractions that might pull you away (e.g., no games, no chit-chat, no web-surfing). If you need a break, that is fine, but make sure you have it someplace at least a few minutes distant, preferably outside of the building itself. If you are unwilling to take the time to get there, acknowledge that you likely don’t need the break.
Routines
Routines are difficult to get into but in the end, this is often our aim. Things are much easier to do when we get into a habit of them, whether it is work, exercise, or errands. If you schedule some of those tasks you are presently procrastinating upon so that they occur on a regular schedule, they become easier. Start your routine slowly, something to which you can easily commit. Eventually, like brushing your teeth, it will likely become something you just do, not taking much effort at all. At this point, you might add to your routine, again always keeping your overall level of effort at a moderate to low level. Importantly, when you fall off your routine, inevitable with sickness or the unexpected, get back on it as soon as possible. Your routine gets stronger every time your follow it. It also gets weaker every time you don’t.
===================================================================
OK, copied and pasted, now back to insurance research.
Right after a round of FarCry.
Promise.
