Made In China!

My dad bought an amplifier from somewhere in bugis... some unknown brand. Here, word-for-word, are excerpts of the "Usage manual"

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High class family movie theatre figures stereo set series

AV-series voice frequcncy powcr chlarger

Usage manual

Use to bchind collect as treasure, then have to check

(Page 1)

To customer:

Thank yoked very much to buy our company's product, for make this product can bring the most satisfied sound effect to young, at usage before, please detailed read this usage the manual, for the purpose of understanding main theme of various functions and various operations of this products.

These machine characteristics:

-Forerunner's exceed is low to lose the true function to enlarge the circuit

-The profession class is efficiently low to leak the magnetism wreath type the transformer

-Forerunner's figures karaoke system

-Double the road microphone input the electric outlet

-Special front-panel that process of high technique

Safe suggestion:

Usage this product before invite the whole a reading book the safety suggestion, then insure this product and Human body the safety.

-Please not to try to fix or refit this machine, and not dismantle the outer shell, contact the safety of scathing breakdown for will for dangerously, may causing this machine and your Human body of internal piece.

-Avoid to placed the following situation:

1. machine from cold of the environment inside were taken the sufficient to divide in the heading's environment, and the machine inside may coagulate the humidity to cause can't normal work, therefore in the confirmation this machine the inner part have no at the back of the humidity and can use.

2. close to the headwaters such as wash rinse pond, damp ground floor... etc. the place.

3. long hours expose in the vertical to shoot the room inside of the sunlight bottom, and close to the strong light source or hot fountainhead.

4. there is high dust, steam or temperature, have the soot's place.

(Page 6)

Break down the phenomenon

-The karaoke have no the voice ........

-Have no the voice ........

-The loudhailer have no the voices .......

(Page 7)

-our company maintains to entrust the responsible for contact of dealer to contact.

-this product continuously improve, design the specification to may have the alteration, forgive with the function not another line circular.

-this manual the contents is already careful checkup, such as appear mistake to leak because of the printing or other reason, and cause the question to please contact with our company to this, and our company is your service the enthusiasm.

(Page 8)

The guarantee to keep sth. in good repair byelaw

My company inside (from purchase the day that invoice open out the calculation) of product at a year, such as the occurence not artificial facter breakdown that cause, was checked by company to belong to solid, free fix and replace spare parts.

But below the circumstance does not belong to the guarantee to keep sth. in good repair the scope:

1, inaccuracy the operation results in the product damage.

2, by onself the disassembly to change any part (such as circuit, spare parts) and artificial damage of product inner part.

3, the artificial damage of product external appearance transforms.

This card pleases appropriate take care of, if product quantity is take placed with operate the problem, and please with my company after-sales service department contact.

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Chairman Mao, he say, what the fark toking you??? hahahhahahah you have NO IDEA how hard it was to type this out... with the struggle to type in horrigible engrish!! who in the world wld understand it? prob his fellow chinamen also wun lor!!

5 Questions for... TT Durai

Today's TNP had an article saying that ppl have been calling in after rare sightings of the elusive T. T. Durai. They actually caught up with the guy at some fren's office, and once he knew they were reporters, he scampered off into the wilderness again, with the fren blocking reporters.

TNP also asked what ppl wanted to hear from the weasel-ly guy himself. some 18 yr old actually wanted to know how he and his family were coping with the fiasco! Talk about being naively noble. Look kid, if my name was splashed in newspapers for days and i had no less than S$13million stashed away somewhere, i'd be like a rock star lor! wat an idiot... hahahah with so much money, i'm such he has no trouble coping at all... save for knowing that he wldn't hv gotten much more if he didn't get caught so soon....

Anyway, in response to TNP's Top 5 Questions the Ppl wanna ask TT, I got my own 5 questions:

1) So where's the money? Swiss Bank? Bank of Mumbai? (apparently he goes there often with Mathilda) Under your mattress? It IS your mattress??

2) Since now you, Richard, Alwyn, Mathilda, Su Ying and the rest of your whole merry gang can no longer get employment in Singapore but can't leave, who's the one most likely to get an Extreme Makeover first? (might i suggest mathilda needs one anyway)

3) How much are your assets worth in total? (ie. How much can the people of Singapore expect you to return to them, willingly or not?)

4) Presently there are plenty of bloggers slamming you and your frens, ranging from wanting to know answers, to insulting language, to pathetic attempts at satire like this blog. But after all that's happened, do you still have the balls to sue anyone now?

5) Last question. So where do you get ur spiffy long sleeved shirts? always see you in them during press conferences and court hearings... never any creases!! must be real good material!! 1 how much??

A Merry Christmas Afterall

Dearest Ally, Bowl, Cyclist, Kok, Meng, Piak, Puss and Qi (although not all of u know of this place)

Thanx for making my x'mas merry. Thanx for the cards, cakes, games, cap, coffee, and the use of house + huggable penguin. And most of all thanx for the company.

:)

Rockie's Tales - Waiting For Santa In Singapore

“Don’t worry darling… I’m sure he’ll come next year.” Mum said to the forlorn little girl staring downcast at the warm milk and soft cookies on the table.


A week later on the 1st day of school, the little girl couldn’t help but overhear school mates here and there gushing about Christmas night:
“… and Santa gave me this Hello Kitty backpack! Just what I want for Primary 2!”
“… almost as big as my baby brother! And then hor, when you hug the soft tummy, got music one leh…”
“… she ALWAYS gets more presents than me. Not fair!”

Of course, she was smart enough to know that not all presents came from him, no matter what they insisted. It wasn’t their fault though; it was just their parents lying to them about the origin of the presents. She would know. She caught her Dad 3 years ago.

One loud voice caught her attention. It was one of the more popular girls in school, the one with long, straight, slightly brown hair, always tied in two ribbons. But it wasn’t the volume, but what was spoken and the whining tone that stood out:
“… why must Santa always come at meenite? Then I want to watch the 10.30 movie on TV also cannot, my mummy say must close door and go to sleep else Santa wun come… Don’t come don’t come lah! Every year come very troublesome leh!”

She felt hurt for him. Knowing how popular this particular girl was, she was sure Santa DID drop by her place every year. She knew that if only he came to her place, just for once, she would welcome him warmly and treat him with affection and respect. But against her heart, she knew she shouldn’t try to make him stay – he would have many, many more children to visit and presents to deliver. This popular girl clearly didn’t know how lucky she was.


She knew he was real. Mum told her that she herself had a visit from Santa, when she was six years old. Only that one time, and never again. Mum reasoned that since Santa was an ang moh, he probably only came to Singapore occasionally. More often, he would be in those ang moh countries where they would get presents from him personally every year, or else those ang moh parents would get angry, and they probably knew where he lived.

She knew there were plenty of fake ones as well. Especially those at places like Toys R’us or those shopping centres with big water fountains. Santa wouldn’t have the time to sit around and pose for photos or ring bells and shout out “HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS”. During this period he would have so many toys to make and so many deliveries to plan, he would be as busy and cranky as Mum was during her peak periods at work.

Then she realized it might be the HDB flats that confused him! After all, he’s used to those nice ang moh houses with chimneys and gardens… maybe he got confused by the endless corridors with similar doors and windows. She never ever went to the far end of the corridor herself – she had been warned of a fierce dog living there. Maybe Santa could never get past that dog as well.


So this time round, she decided to help him find her house. With Mum’s help, they strung up twinkling lights on their windows and front door, in addition to the sparkling Christmas tree they kept on every night. On evenings, coming back from the shopping centres, she could clearly see her spruced up, twinkling and flashing windows, high up on her block, all the way from the playground. He wouldn’t be able to miss her house this year.

Of course, since they didn’t have a chimney, he would be coming in by the front door. She once did think that he would come in from the rubbish chute, and tried to leave the door to that open. But she dropped that silly idea since what Mum said was true – surely he didn’t want to come into people’s houses so stinky. And what if someone happened to throw a whole big bag of durian husks down? Surely he was too smart for that. No, he would still land on the roof of the HDB flat with his sleigh and reindeer… climb down the ladder from the roof to the staircase landing and visit each door one by one. She hoped that seeing the guiding lights on her front door would make him brave enough to quickly dart past the house with the fierce dog.

But still, they couldn’t leave the door unlocked for him. It wasn’t safe. Only Mum would be allowed to stay up and open the door for him. She wasn’t allowed to open the door for anyone at night anymore, ever since that year she happily dashed and opened the door to a drunk neighbour who mistakenly thought he was home. Her terrified scream woke up everyone in the block, and definitely sobered up the newly-oriented, unkempt and apologetic drunkard.

Even with plenty of earlier mistaken identities at shopping centres, that really bad scare, and with every Christmas morning being disappointing so far, she still hoped that one year, he would come. She wasn’t getting any younger… had a grand old age of 8, all she needed was 4 more years before she would have enough allowance to buy herself presents, and maybe then Santa would see no point in delivering to her anymore.

So she helped Mum place the usual tall glass of cold milk (they only used the tall glasses for rare, important guests) and a plate of eight Chipsmore chocolate chip cookies (her favourite, and signifying her age) on the table, with a note to help himself to more in the fridge, if the milk wasn’t cold enough or the Tupperware, if the cookies had gone soft.

That night, she couldn’t sleep, of course. But she knew she couldn’t let a soul know she was still awake as well, or else he wouldn’t come in. She hid under her comforter, alert for any and every creak, squeak or bump. Motionless and silent, she lay there until… until…


Her eyes shot open wide and stared momentarily, taking in the daylight. She fell asleep! She threw off the comforter and ran out of her room.

“Don’t worry darling… I’m sure he’ll come next year.” Mum said to the forlorn little girl, staring downcast at the warm milk and soft cookies on the table.

Giving Answers

I've turned down 2 x'mas appts (a rarity, i might add (turning appts down, not x'mas appts.)) for todae and tml.

i'm not "mourning" in a sense that my depressive period is over... a short 2 days, partly thanx to a day spent outside with kitty. being home alone helps, but only for the inital stage. when its time to get over it, fresh air(con) is good.

i've turned them down coz within these gatherings, there are ppl who i do not owe answers to, esp to one particular question i know will pop out. these ppl were frens of a tainted past, now casual acquaintances at most. or those who have always been nothing more than acquaintances.

a few frens have already asked me that question over msn - the close frens out of goodwill, and hopefully the not-so-close ones too. But it is the wrong question to ask, so i do not give any answers.

but face-to-face is different. questions asked face-to-face are more difficult to leave hanging without answers, especially when repeatedly asked. so one of two outcomes wld happen:
a) i still do not give answers - leading to the question repeated, making everyone curious and getting me irritated.
b) i snap the answer out - leading to the atmosphere being tense and everyone uneasy.
so i choose to not make them happen.

so why is it the wrong question? coz i will get irritated and pissed. and on hearing the answer, ppl will start offering meaningless statements meant to comfort - which i do not need. or worse, attempt to make the situation humourous - which i do not think it is so. especially from ppl who are not impt to me.

so don't take offense if i don't go to your gathering. it's just that the combination of some ppl and some questions wld ruin the evening for everyone. (i quite power hor? can ruin it for everyone. haha) and don't worry. if u read this, u're not likely to be unimportant to me. but still, the wrong questions will not get u answers.

someone did ask me the right question. but i volunteered the answer without the question first because she went thru the exact same thing before. that's probably how she knew wat the right question was.

anyway, i'm still going for a x'mas gathering on sundae with a grp of close frens. not bcoz all of them are close enuff to ask the wrong question, but coz they're close enuff to not ask it.

Troubling Thoughts On Sleepless Night

Actually, even though its 3.15am and I haven't slept yet, it's not due to the thoughts. I've been marvellously entertained by blogs. Just search "NKF" on blogger and you can spend hours laughing at what singaporeans have to say abt durai and his antics.

But it's coz of all these blogs that I have troubling thoughts. And of coz the eventful days i've been having. They're still jumbled, so I hope i get them all down.

First of all, who says singaporeans are apathetic? Have u searched "NKF" under blogger like I told u to? Go. Go check it out. WOW. and some of these entries are really good. 1 guy even wrote a cover letter applying to be the CEO of the "old NKF" to Gerard Ee. Now why didn't i think of that?

And I thot I did write rather well. I admit the quality of words waxes and wanes with the tides of my moods... but at least I thot I was entertaining. But now I see that it's not "a mountain behind still got one mountain higher"(Chinese four-letter word) but there are so many high mountains above me... and i notice 2 patterns about the good blogs:

a) most of their entries are commentaries, and they satire what is going on.
b) they have many links to other blogs or news sources.

My blog is different coz (a) sounds too much like work to me, and there's nothing I like more than to talk about myself. Hence this entry, of course. (b), OTOH, sounds like too much work to me...

So... suddenly it strikes me... how mediocre I am. Now only hv i not accomplished anything much in these 25yrs... what skills or attributes I thot I had pale in comparison to others.

My writing: is nothing compared to so many others.
My photography skills: are overrated - only some are really good.
My outdoor & leadership skills: are sorely unused.
My people skills: are merely an effort in facade I need to maintain.
My relationships with others: deserve a whole entry by itself.
My self discipline: is non-existent.
My plan for the future: is always sitting around waiting for something to happen.

I'm already getting left behind. Can't afford to sit around with my head in the sand anymore... For too long I've been cursing the darkness, but not daring to light the candle. I've always been ranting about what could have been, when in actual fact I don't know for sure. Hiding behind inherent difficulties was always easier than actually finding out "what if"? Giving too many excuses.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." -
Gandalf

So I have been given more time to develop my body and mind - to do what I need to. I hope i have the strength to to keep at it. Maybe everything does have a good reason for happening; but it is up to me so see that the reason does indeed become a good one.

note to self: a journey of a thousand miles - is not merely a single step.

Suggested Penalties for Public Enemy No.1 - Durai

I am in a rather foul predictament, but I have to speak up on this.

For one, I really really hope that Durai, that evil bitch, gets convicted for criminal offences and gets thrown into jail and butt farked by unclean toilet brushes wielded by disgruntled hardcore criminals who were moved by the countless NKF charity shows to make a $10, $20, or $50 donation to a 1900-number, of which plenty went to high flying trips around the world. I hope they make him fly so high he sees stars.

Barring which, here's a suggestion on how he can pay a fine instead. Based on a few assumptions:
a) Every donor asking for refunds from "the new" NKF will only hurt patients and their measly million-dollar reserves.
b) We do not know for sure exactly how much he got direct from donations and how much he got from possible kickbacks from other director's entreprises.
so we use calculation.

Since durai likes to calculate back payments so much, let's calculate the amount he got since 1992 when he became CEO:

in the ST case, it was revealed that in the last 3 yrs he got a take home pay of $1.8million.
which leads to $600,000/- a year.
CPF contribution is about 33%, so it's 798,000/- a year.
have a back payment since 1992, that's 13 years, he needs to pay back to the public $10,374,000/-

This does not include his benefits of insurance, car(s), air tickets, cashcard top ups, credit card bills, "unused" leave, "OT" pay, etc. from ST yesterday:

"OT" Pay: $187,000 from Sept 97 to Oct 03
"unused" Leave which he extended himself: $423,000 from May 95 to Nov 03
Credit Card Bills paid for by NKF: $290,447
Car payments, including insurance, tax, repairs, wife's cashcard: $6885.86 for THIS YEAR ALONE not including his own cashcard
(NB: his wife cashcard topup is $423.61. imagine his shd be about same amount. I don't even use that much a year on my debit card!)
Bonuses: not known exactly yet, betw 4 to 12mths. average of 8mths then.
Air tickets and insurance amounted not stated in ST.

So, we extrapolate some of these figures. Stated "OT" Pay claimed is about half is tenure. So he possibly got $374,000 in total.
Car payments extrapolated for 12.5yrs, based on the figure above only being for 1/2 a year: $172,146.50

So amount, which is still less than total, stands at $10,374,000 + $374,000 + $172,146.50 + $423,000 + $290,447 = $11,633,593.50

of coz, still got interest rate. i don't have exact figures, so let's estimate it to be 12%, including possible investments he made with that money, which comes up to $13,029,624.72/- which he owes donors. still not including other numbers yet to be released by newspapers. This penalty should be extended to the whole board of evil directors he was in cahoots with as well.

So this is how much singaporeans have been blindly giving him. An estimated $1million a year straight into his pocket and perks. So what he would need to do is hire KPMG, since his old frens at PwC seem so incompetent, so dig the records and find out which singaporeans donated how much in proportion to the total population and give back accordingly based on the $13million figure. Then all would be forgiven and he would be allowed to take back his passport and run back to his hometown in india (hopefully) penniless and never be heard of again.

Of coz some might think, with all that trouble and all that money, it wld be easier to go to jail. but durai should note that only a select few has the option of exchanging money for jail time. Just ask melvyn "boo hoo hoo i'm cancelling my few-hundred-dollar-per-ticket shows and running home to jolly old england" tan.

in fact, the courts would probably cite that case as an example, since both of them share many similarities: durai is also now a famous household name, and is a great musician! just ask all those employees, donors and gahmen ppl who've been listening to his music like the children in the "Pied Piper of Hamelin"

Added: We cannot thank them enough. They cannot compensate us enough.

Note to self: I'm not giving to charities anymore! Unless I'm the CEO of one... hahahhha

Further note to self: Dream job - CEO and all-encompassing despot of HUGE charitable organisation with standing policies of non-disclosure and being in good books of reporters.

Who Heeds...

...when the horn of gondor sounds?

World Class

I have no frigging idea why NTU always claims it is one of the top universities in the world when

a) employers dun hv a good impression of its graduates, as reported in newspapers recently
b) students hv many gripes, be it about campus transport, ECAs and accommodation administration, academic administration, teaching and non-teaching staff, and food. hey, isn't that almost everything?

so, wat's my gripe todae? SAO (or whoever's in charge of exams) has so kindly put "3rd week of december" for everyone's fricking release of results. probably to give leeway to the poor academic staff who mark so fricking hard every may and nov and do nothing much but speak to OHPs for the large part of the yr.

so it's nerve wracking for ppl like me who's anxious to graduate. i nv was bothered by results before, coz i knew no matter wat, i'd still be studying the next sem. now's different. now i either am free, or shackled for another sem. nerve wracking.

so which WEEK do they consider 3rd wk? if they consider the half that was nov and the half that was dec the 1st wk, this wld be 4th wk liao. so whole of last wk i checked, and apparently this wk is the 3rd wk.

so which DAY are they going to release it? it can be any day, coz they didn't specify. i checked over the wkend, and today got some ppl get their results liao, but i still hvn't. so i gotta come online and check EVERYDAY.

i just hope that they'll delaying my results so that they can push everything up to a pass. haha.

assholes. causing me to lose sleep and get anxiety attacks. I hope they get only between 1 wk to 1mth of bonus, not revealed exactly until their payday, which exact date will be revealed later.

i hope i hv nothing to do with NTU from this mth on....

Uncontrollable

I tried to prevent it, but it still comes back. But of coz, these times nv last.

I used to believe there's no such thing as fate. Maybe there is after all. Perhaps this is my purposeless fate...

Oh well. purposeless doesn't mean not fun...

Tired after driving 4 dead bodies home. 7am and still up. time to sleep....

Something's Missing

Thot wld hv plans on thurs, but nothing materialised.

Thot wld hv plans on fri, but was cancelled the day before.

Heng chel replied positively. so had coffee with chel, zz and girl. then went late nite KTV after.

I just took a step back and let the others decide wat next. i tend to do that when i'm with them... dunno why. i guess since i hv no violent objections to their plentiful ideas... so anything lor. as long as the company's there, everything's cool.

Didn't sing much though, dunno why also. Didn't feel like, there wasn't a song in my head. Just simply, no mood. Others requested many songs, and inserted them in front of mine as well. strangely, i didn't mind at all. none of my requested songs made it to the TV, but i didn't give a crap anyway.

Why?

Something's missing somewhere... Purpose maybe.

Of coz going KTV dun need purpose... but the whole picture in general. Since sch ended i've just been bumming around, meeting frens, having fun. sure, i did run stanchart... but it's over liao.

Ppl around me mostly now have busy, miserable jobs... but as they always say, at least they're earning. The more miserable the job, the higher the pay. IF i grad i'll look for a job and will be like them too... working and earning.

But there's a nagging feeling tt tells me i'll be doing tt mainly coz I shd, coz tt's expected of me. It is some kind of responsibility to my family and to myself too, and of coz i shall find a job which i like and will hv fun in. So it isn't too bad.

But still... something's missing. There's got to be more than this.

But what?

Stand Up or Stand Down?

Over dinner, Dad suddenly said that I shd learn to take things easier, not to let the small things bother me and get me upset.

????

Had no idea wat brought it on. Wat he actually meant was I shdn't keep picking on ppl and finding fault and getting everyone upset. Even if ppl were unreasonable, there are so many of them around, so no pt getting worked up all the time. Let things pass, it's all small stuff. He cited the chinamen incidents and the LJS 30 cents incident as examples.

My defence was i wasn't really upset over those incidents, but i needed to do wat i felt was right, to do the right thing for myself anyway. He didn't really buy it, so in order not to argue i reluctantly said ok.

Dear Dad... i know he means well. He's afraid tt i'll either die early from a heart attack or a parang one if i carry on "picking on ppl". but he worries needlessly coz I don't take these things to heart... in fact if i've been trampled on and don't do anything abt it, to stand up for myself, i'll regret over wat i could hv done and get the heart attack anyway. as for parang attacks... i choose my battles. usually in a controlled environment, ie. sch lib or fast food restaurant, and i only, only fight when i know i'm right.

So how do I convince him that i'm only standing up to bullies? I've been bullied before... 2 real bad incidents were once, in pri sch by 2 classmates, and once in sec sch by a teacher (yup, tt's rite. if u want more details let me know.) Dad helped resolve both incidents: by telling me to report it to the teacher in pri sch, and coming with me to see the principal in sec sch.

So along the way I decided I've had enuff... I will no longer be a silent victim of bullying, be it unreasonable reserving of seats or the cheating of my money, no matter how small an amt. I know there're plenty of silent victims out there, either choosing to lay low and skulk away or choosing to ignore and forget. But every time a victim stays silent, the bully is just emboldened to inflict his unreasonable behaviour on someone else.

Idealistic, yes. but i stand up to bullies in hope that my behaviour wld put a stop to, or at least discourage, their's. that others will be spared of being bullied or cheated. And also I stand up for myself so i will nv ask myself y i took that lying down.

note to self: Support CASE!

Day of Darkness...

Currently Playing: Old Chines Song whose title I have no idea but the lyrics are super tacky by My uncle

Bad day. Woken up late, by a nightmare, and started wondering abt my solo trip. Had my first coffee only at 4.45pm, therefore cranky and uncoordinated. Met my mum after work and got closed on by a lift door operated by some damn cock aunty. Took a nap, woken up by sparodically by:

Dad comes home from work and whistles, Mum opens the door for him.

Dad speaking loudly thru the intercom: "YAH YAH THAT'S MY BROTHER"

Uncle's voice.

Dad's voice.

Suddenly, in my dream about multi storied MRT stations with unending flights of escalators and rumbling trains on every floor, a whiny, nasal voice starts singing a tacky chinese song which sounds very, very old.

I wake up in blurness... the song still being played... and after a long while, i realise it's my uncle! first thot was: did he write that song? u know the kind where only the song writer thinks it's brilliant and oblivious to the agonised faces all around when the song is played? it went something like (translation):

I sent you present... did you get it...
Some presents cannot be seen by eyes
blah blah blah
Presents must treasure....
Else someone else will take it...
blah blah blah

In all honesty, my uncle's a very nice guy. but his nasal singing voice just makes the tacky chinese song worse. needless to say, cannot sleep liao. so here i am recording this day of darkness. everything seems to go wrong somewhere. i hope this is the end of it liao....

Having Doubts.

I might be having second thoughts.

"Why you want to go alone? One person not boring meh?"

"So I can discover myself once again. Just Purple Monster and me."

Really? Do I really want to be in a faraway strange foreign land with strangers all around?

All by myself?

Eating bread for meals?

Sleeping in small huts all alone in the middle of nowhere?

Forced to seek the company of strangers?

Forced to talk to sheep to ease boredom?

Spending money doing ridiculous things?

Like kayaking in rough open sea?

Like being spun round in a washing machine?

Like walking all alone for days in wilderness?

Like taking long, long bus rides?

All by myself?



Yup. Coz then there'll be no one else around to learn about.

Hauntings

Even though it was all over so long ago, some things just won't let u go.

Even though you don't talk or even think about it, their names, their faces still haunt you.

You wake up with a jolt, almost in a cold sweat.

I've had 2 nightmares this week liao. Back, surrounded by them.

Even as I'm being released from one nightmare, another old one is reclaiming me.

One I have no control over.

I hope it doesn't come back to reclaim me for real. At least now, they are still dreams.

Just twisted, altered memories from my tortured mind.

Some Wedding

Currently Playing: Mais, Que Na by Astrude Gilberto

Just attended my Dad's cousin's son's wedding. some guy i've never met before. Minutes after taking my seat i realised why i shdn't hv come... always get so bored at these family gatherings. the adults make small talk and i can only talk to my bro and make small talk back to adults. oh yah, i'm an adult too... hahahah but u know wat i mean. most of the time i'm so bored i constantly fiddle with my hp and hope someone smses me out of my misery.

at least the hyatt hotel played nice bossa nova. been so obsessed with zero7 i forgot how nice bossa can be. esp in that kinda setting... cool dark evening dinner. with plenty of chatter to contend with.

the opening of the dinner was rather funny though. they played some kinda house-style music and the unrehearsed-enuff waiters and waitress for the 53 tables came out in batches of 5-6 at a time... all nervously taking their places and frantically waiting for the next cue. with no one guiding their positions, the front few tables, which were supposed to be most impt, were missing waiters.

then the cue came for them to serve the tables. with no order to speak of, the waiters dumped the cold dish plates on the nearest table they could find. the waiter nearest to me hurriedly looked from table to table, which 3 out of 4 were empty, and placed his plate on one of them (not mine); all around waiters in black were rushing abt to their "usual" positions of serving, almost knoocking into each other. kinda like giant ants. hahahh

anyway. i sympathise with my bro's position more than my own really... not only is he bored, now being the eldest unmarried grandson, he's constantly badgered to get married. can't blame my grandma... 92yrs old liao. and so far only 1 grandchild married.

so i'm in a large ballroom filled with ppl i'm supposed to know, watching slide shows of ppl i dunno, and supposed to share in their wedded bliss and all that. but when they play the games and show the slides and all that, i'm just wondering when the next dish is coming, i'm starving.

there was a point to all this, but i've forgotten wat. maybe something abt how i dun really like extended family gatherings. and CNY is coming up.

well anyway i've had enuff of this bliss bliss bliss crap. anyone whos getting married, let me know beforehand. i'll need to check my schedule to see if i dun hv a plane ride to cambodia or somewhere that day....

Hmmm.

Many a time, something turns out to be nothing.

Oh well. I got FarCry now. So heck. :-)

The Perils of Looking Unboring

Currently Playing: In The Waiting Line by Zero7

"Your hair all black, look kind of boring... but at least you look less beng."

That was just one of the oxymorons and nonsensical sentences that characterised the dinner I had with misa. other examples include: "You look like you've shrunk." etc.

so taking her advice to look less boring and more uncouth, I had my hair hairlighted todae.

was a little hesitant... and i came to realise why when the hairdresser aunty (an ex-lian) started to trying to pull a gigantic condom ridden with holes to fit over my head.

after much painful tugging she suggested i pull myself, which might be less hurting. then she proceeded to forcefully gouge out tufts of hair thru the holes of the "condom", using some kind of metal stick. ouch. ouch. ouch.

she left to answer the phone. and i see a ridiculous image in the mirror: a balding guy with tufts of long hair sticking out at right angles and a huge condom on his head. aunty ahlian must hv been wondering y i had a silly grin.

then, using some kind of brush, she slathered my stray tufts of hair and the gigantic condom with foul smelling hair dye. and left to do other stuff.

all the while, her husband had been cleaning up the floor and windows and mirrors and nagging at their boisterous 7-yr old girl to pick up all her toys: they were going JB tml, so any toy left behind wldn't go with them. although their first language is hokkien, second language chinese, the couple nv failed to speak to their daughter in english, however broken. it showed: her english was rather ok.

so as the family milled abt the place, i sat there motionless, staring into space, with a gigantic condom on my head stinking to high heaven. just bored until the tv start blaring that terrible chicken little + cockroach song in chinese. now i was bored senseless.

finally it was time for the condom to come off. the rest of the hair cut was ok enuff, i usually let the barbers do wat they want... hair gel is the antidote to all haircut disasters. but for some reason aunty ahlian was just obsessed with getting rid of tiny little hairs at the back of my neck. by the 4th time she ran that little electric razor up and down my neck i was thinking "aiyah ok oready lah..."

and so it was done. but i didn't bring enuff money!! short of $9. she and husband said nvm, next time pass by then give her the rest lor.

very heartland feeling... kids at the shop, hokkien speaking owners, dun mind u paying next time. anyway i'll be going there often coz it's the nearest one i know... the next one is prob few hundred metres away...

New Desktop PC

Currently Playing: The Space Between by Zero7

Got my new computer up and running yesterday! thanx to Alwyn!

Advertisement: Wanna get a new computer fixed up in place of an old one? just look for Alwyn! In return for old dusty RAMs and Graphics Cards, he'll do a customised quotation of components, go with u to sim lim and buy, go to ur place and fix up + install all the necessary software, even wash ur plates after dinner and give free t-shirt from chiang mai some more!! where else can get this kind of service? call Alwyn todae!!

Back to blog.

Now every component is shiny black. from new superbright LCD monitor, shiny new CPU, squeaky clean keyboard, young mouse, modem, speakers, everything. before this it was all sticky and dusty black. hahahah

u notice something weird. "squeaky clean keyboard". yup... u guessed rite. i cleaned my old keyboard and plugged it into the new CPU. not just clean, SQUEAKY clean! i took old all the keys one by one, wiped them, wiped away all the dust and petrified food particles underneath. i know, coz i remember dropping them there... especially the chocolate and cookie crumbs. hahahahha

but hey i'm not the only culprit lor. last time when i was staying with those chao ang mohs in hall, they got use my computer w/o permission lor. come back over the wkend and the keyboard feels sticky. and i know they do eat and drop half their food all over the room. well i'm assuming the stickiness comes from food. i will not entertain any other thots on that.

so how did i make sure i put every key back in place? when i take them out one by one, i place them on the table in order like a "virtual keyboard" lah! u think i memorise every position ah? ahahah even took a photo of the "keyboard" with me virtually typing! hahahah but i can't upload it coz i just lent my buddy my camera....

so for now, my whole table setup is clean! from cables behind the monitor untouched for mths, to the once-dusty keys. FOR NOW lah... hahahah but one thing is for sure... no more petrified food!

note to self: no eating in the room!

The Last of FYP?

just spent $49.20 to print and bind my FYP report.

as I carried the papers as gently as i could to the binding shop... had a funny mix of emotions.

Felt proud coz I did it all by myself, all 72 pages of it.

Felt guilty coz it was only 72 pages - i could have done more and a better job.

Felt nonchalant coz it was part of something I didn't really want to do anyway.

Felt relieved coz it was finally over.

Oh well. It's over. Now to move on the better things, things that i wanna do. Confirm will hv more motivation...

that's why i'm taking it really easy now... waking up earliest late morning, meeting frens for lunch and dinner and watching tv and bumming around. coz when I do start on a job i like, i don't think i'll get much time to do all these liao. but i don't think i'll mind. ;-)

note to self: start sending out resumes next wk!

My First Medal In 10 Years

That's the problem with not having a PC handy. By the time you can blog abt some event, it's no longer as fresh in ur mind. Oh well... let's try anyway.

Another small milestone on 4th Dec 2005, Sunday. at 25yrs and 1 mth exactly, I took part in the StanChart 10km run. Well, i didn't really run all the way... walked for 5-10mins betw the 5km to 8km marks. The non-stop running for the last 2km was my desire to complete the run; the non-stop running for the first 5km was my desire to empty my bladder.

Yup, frens can attest that I ran exceptionally fast for the first 5km. After alighting from the cab at raffles city, i blur-blur followed my frens (i'm not a morning person)... and before i realised it, we were actually on the road behind the start line! I thot we were just going to hang ard 1st and i could go look for a toilet. Then the crowd surged around me and there was no turning back. or turning around with my back to everyone to pee on the grass, coz there were ppl everywhere.

Everyone started stretching. The deejays interrupted the blaring retro music more and more with their meaningless banter. And I knew if I wanted to go, I had to go along with the crowd, until i meet a frenly cubicle along the way. I guessed the first one I'd meet would be 2km away.

Those were the longest 2km I had ever run... and still no cubicle. I kept trying to surge forward and run faster, coz I'd probably explode if i gave in and walked. All the way from esplanade to the ctr of marina bay, my motivation for running the race was a portable toilet.

It wasn't gleaming, but i didn't care. I didn't care abt the wet toilet paper all over the seat, or the dubious splatter in the bowl. But within those little plastic walls, the heat i was giving out and the heat already inside was just terrible. I was glad to be out of there.

unfortunately... now got less motivation! so my focus turned to getting water bottles at every drinks station, drinking 2 mouthfuls, then blatantly littering and wasting water. every singaporean must hv had fun doing that.

There was another form of motivation as well... I didn't know SG got so many girls for look nice from the back in tied up hair and tank tops... hahahah but i didn't bio them from the front... was getting rather tired and didn't want to be seen as rude.

the last 2km were pretty good... running past those big tall rich CBD buildings... past bhangras and other foreign workers trying to cross the road with so much oncoming human traffic... past ushers who incessantly screamed at us to keep left, keep right, etc.

Crossed the finish line at 1hr 7mins 27secs. Spent abt 20mins in a daze trying to get everything back in normal function. had a can of 100plus and collected my finisher's medal from a chiobu. ok, everyone got the medal... but look at it this way:

21000 ppl participated in the whole event.
5242 finished my event, 10km run.
I finished 1604th place.
so there were about (21000 - 5242 + 1603) = 17361 ppl in front of me
so I am 17362th in whole of singapore, population abt 3million.
so that puts me in the top 0.6% of the population!! HAHAHAHHA!

I deserve that medal. and that huge breakfast at cafe cartel I had after the run.

Thinking since i had so much fun these last 2 wkends, running outdoors... maybe i could make it a regular thing. oh well... we shall see this wkend if i really wanna do it.

note to self: Join 10 km run again next year, WITHOUT stopping. so will run extra fast all the way!