The Perils of Looking Unboring

Currently Playing: In The Waiting Line by Zero7

"Your hair all black, look kind of boring... but at least you look less beng."

That was just one of the oxymorons and nonsensical sentences that characterised the dinner I had with misa. other examples include: "You look like you've shrunk." etc.

so taking her advice to look less boring and more uncouth, I had my hair hairlighted todae.

was a little hesitant... and i came to realise why when the hairdresser aunty (an ex-lian) started to trying to pull a gigantic condom ridden with holes to fit over my head.

after much painful tugging she suggested i pull myself, which might be less hurting. then she proceeded to forcefully gouge out tufts of hair thru the holes of the "condom", using some kind of metal stick. ouch. ouch. ouch.

she left to answer the phone. and i see a ridiculous image in the mirror: a balding guy with tufts of long hair sticking out at right angles and a huge condom on his head. aunty ahlian must hv been wondering y i had a silly grin.

then, using some kind of brush, she slathered my stray tufts of hair and the gigantic condom with foul smelling hair dye. and left to do other stuff.

all the while, her husband had been cleaning up the floor and windows and mirrors and nagging at their boisterous 7-yr old girl to pick up all her toys: they were going JB tml, so any toy left behind wldn't go with them. although their first language is hokkien, second language chinese, the couple nv failed to speak to their daughter in english, however broken. it showed: her english was rather ok.

so as the family milled abt the place, i sat there motionless, staring into space, with a gigantic condom on my head stinking to high heaven. just bored until the tv start blaring that terrible chicken little + cockroach song in chinese. now i was bored senseless.

finally it was time for the condom to come off. the rest of the hair cut was ok enuff, i usually let the barbers do wat they want... hair gel is the antidote to all haircut disasters. but for some reason aunty ahlian was just obsessed with getting rid of tiny little hairs at the back of my neck. by the 4th time she ran that little electric razor up and down my neck i was thinking "aiyah ok oready lah..."

and so it was done. but i didn't bring enuff money!! short of $9. she and husband said nvm, next time pass by then give her the rest lor.

very heartland feeling... kids at the shop, hokkien speaking owners, dun mind u paying next time. anyway i'll be going there often coz it's the nearest one i know... the next one is prob few hundred metres away...