Just got discharged from hospital for dengue this afternoon, after 5 days of sick boredom.
Well.. it only wasn't that bad coz my bro was with me... both of us kena abt the same time, but he didn't hv it as bad as me so he got out a day before.
so for 4 days both of us stayed within 5m of each other in a small room with attached toilet, eating the same inedible/tough/tasteless food, flipping thru the same boring channels and enduring a blood draw every morning at 8am. as an added bonus, my bro witnessed my "unreasonable" refusal to be put on a drip. (i was eating and drinking more than him, and i HATE needles. 1 every morning was quite enuff.) part of the exchange went like this:
Nurse: "just a needle prick only, like yesterday morning i do for u, not pain rite?"
Me: "No lor, where got not pain? I was shouting away in pain remember?"
Nurse: "...but... of coz mah, the needle sharp, else how to take blood?"
hahahha. rather badly behaved. later with parents intervention, i relented and agreed to the drip, but the senior nurse decided to wait and see the next day. and thankfully, my blood showed some improvement, so no drip at all. the doctor did seem a little amused abt the incident.
so every morning after the nurse gave the 6am medicine or check vital signs, i wld be jumpy and awake, waiting dreadfully for the blood letting. it got better as the days went by though. dunno whether i gotten used to it or the nurses started to send the better of their colleagues to curb my screams. but the 1st 2 nights were dreadful. could hardly sleep with the rashes and anxiety. as night fell i would be counting down to 8am.
the food was definitely nothing to look fwd to. breakfast was either bland cereal, bright, bright yellow scrambled eggs which looked genetically colourifically-modified, wholemeal bread with plastic-looking saltless margerine and sugarless fruit juice. lunch and dinner was either hard white rice with bitter veges or too tough/soggy western food. to let my body heal, i had to force myself to eat.
there wasn't much on tv, except the usual gong xi gong xi shows on the normal tv channels, hbo and espn. hbo wasn't showing that many good shows too, so after reading the paper in the afternoons, there wasn't much to do except sleep. on a heat-trapping rubber mattress and it's complementing pillows of coz. the combination of uncomfortable pillows, hot and itchy body, and needle anxiety, i didn't get much good sleep really. developed an un-ending headache the last 2 days, which miraculously disappeared after a nap on my own bed this afternoon.
the ordeal ended after spending a nite alone in the hospital, and a surprisingly "ok" blood letting (no sound from me). the senior nurse called to tell me the good news: my platelets jumped 3 times within the last 24 hrs and i could go home todae. but my headache got worse - screwing up my body temp and stomach with it. had no appetite, felt either too cold or too hot and all i wanted to do was to go home. so bro drove me home and dad waited in the ward for medicine and official discharge and took a bus home.
the nite before that, dad and bro came to visit, some 6hrs after he himself got discharged. mum wasn't feeling well. so we 3 sat there and watched tv. it was like that with bro in the ward also. we wouldn't talk much, but the silent presence of each other is always so strangely comforting. yet, we're so familiar with each other we dun even realise that.
at times like these i'm so very grateful for having such a loving family. we live very simply, really. if everyone's at home we just do our own thing... mum either in the kitchen or watching tv, dad on his guitars or doing chores, bro playing computer or sleeping, etc. and sometimes being so familiar i dun bother to talk much, esp last few wks. but if someone (ie. me) needs support, everyone's there.
and i guess this dengue thing is just the thing i need to kick me out of my recent slump. stuck in a cold, old hospital room unable to go anywhere, i looked outside to see ppl walking around on the road, and thot to myself how lucky they were. i once could go outside and walk around too, but was too busy moping at home to do so until i fell sick. i was wondering when i'd see my home again. in physical source vs mental source of depression, i think mental is easier to overcome.
so once again, i only know how to treasure when things are taken away. once i recover my strength, i wun stay at home do nothing... i will pursue wat i set out to do earlier this year. coz i hv a choice.
"Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide."
-Napolean Bonaparte
so... i will be more appreciative of my family, and my health, and my freedom to choose.
1 comment:
Glad that you can see the positive side of things. And even more glad that the whole event created more positive outcomes for you. Hahaha.
Well, I guess figure CNYs would seem more interesting even if relative are still asking if you are in NS rite? haha....
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