Just came back from Gunung Angsi (825m) on Good Friday, 25th March. Took a midnite bus from Larkin on Thurs nite, reached Seremban 4+am. Took bus and started trekking at abt 9am, reached summit 1230pm, reached the exit at 3+pm. Took buses, had supper at JB and returned to SG after midnite.
I digress... from this trek, i realise more about myself. I had a long break from trekking, Jan '04 to Feb '05, and this was my 2nd trek after revival. Even more memorable than my 1st leech in 2 yrs, instead of being the sociable leader i can be, i laid back and kept to myself a bit.
i didn't need to be a leader, ZZ was there to lead; QZ, CS, etc to assist. the party was 17 - usually i'm the odd one out. all bus rides i sat alone, but i didn't mind. i like to hv time to myself to think and let my mind wander. but that wld usually set the mood for the entire trip. i subconsciously became laid back, aloof, less willing to talk and help, and generally kept to myself and listened to others (which is rare) basically being a participant thru and thru.
but that didn't really take effort... maybe that's my true self. i CAN be sociable, i CAN be the entertainer and i CAN take up leadership; i also CAN be the supporting role and assist, but when others can and willingly take up these positions, i step back and let them handle it unless they are THAT incompetent.
So it seems i am capable of different roles, it's just whether others can fill the roles needed or i put in the effort. of coz if i'm tasked and responsible for holding that role, i slip into it effortlessly. but given a choice, i look at people dynamics 1st. good or bad? i'm not sure, but being versatile nv hurt anyone ;-)
but also... the trek made me realise i've aged... i don't recover as fast, my fitness levels are not as high as before, i need more sleep, and i dun look like i'm in shape even though i've been exercising every week. 1/4 of a century old and i'm feeling the effects. kind of bummed... until now it was always on the up... the decline is dismaying. i'm too young to be getting old.
note to self: exercise more regularly, and enjoy the things i like to do before i'm too old to do so. i'm starting to already.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
How Apt
haha.. how apt.. just realised todae is the birthday of a girl i had a major crush on in JC.. lasted 2 yrs, and she wasn't really chio anyway... she shd be working by now... wonder how she's doing.
yah rite. u think i care? hahahha i dun bother liao lah! once i decide put down something, i won't pick it up again. its a matter of pride and principle.
note to self: sleep after this post.
yah rite. u think i care? hahahha i dun bother liao lah! once i decide put down something, i won't pick it up again. its a matter of pride and principle.
note to self: sleep after this post.
Good Start to a Bad Day
supposed to be sleeping 45 mins ago... gotta wake up do fyp tml morning. but been busy packing for angsi tml and settling emails, smses and msns....
bad day? u bet. had a quiz in the morning which i knew little abt. the good start was i miraclously managed to pass by guessing MCQs. then ambitiously went to the graphics lab, but cldn't get anything done. after lunch still couldn't get my brain to start up... went back hall and crashed til 5pm. whole day gone just liddat... didn't do fyp either. at least the evening was ok... went to hall4 do m460... watched amazing race and nuah...
u know, friendster is such a useful tool... hahha just found out that yet another cute girl that's caught my eye is already attached! how sianz. looks like every girl worth getting attached already is. so wat does that leave me with? a big fat girl who wears the same dress every other day? hahahahh (some of u might know i'm referring to)
sigh... so how? try how hard also always knock head-1st into wall.
yah, sometimes i do like being alone. i like to explore alone... work alone... think alone. but when i stumble upon wonderful sights when exploring... how i wish i had someone in my arms to share them with. at least u know someone's loving u when u're away.
liverpool's motto doesn't hold true in my world. oh well, tml going angsi liao. (wee ee ee ee ee ee ee wee ummm wumm bo way.... in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonite....)
bad day? u bet. had a quiz in the morning which i knew little abt. the good start was i miraclously managed to pass by guessing MCQs. then ambitiously went to the graphics lab, but cldn't get anything done. after lunch still couldn't get my brain to start up... went back hall and crashed til 5pm. whole day gone just liddat... didn't do fyp either. at least the evening was ok... went to hall4 do m460... watched amazing race and nuah...
u know, friendster is such a useful tool... hahha just found out that yet another cute girl that's caught my eye is already attached! how sianz. looks like every girl worth getting attached already is. so wat does that leave me with? a big fat girl who wears the same dress every other day? hahahahh (some of u might know i'm referring to)
sigh... so how? try how hard also always knock head-1st into wall.
yah, sometimes i do like being alone. i like to explore alone... work alone... think alone. but when i stumble upon wonderful sights when exploring... how i wish i had someone in my arms to share them with. at least u know someone's loving u when u're away.
liverpool's motto doesn't hold true in my world. oh well, tml going angsi liao. (wee ee ee ee ee ee ee wee ummm wumm bo way.... in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonite....)
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Churches
ok ok last blog of the day. getting tired. yes, me too. just lemme write this down coz i feel inspired. hopefully this won't be my last post for a long time....... hopefully i'll come back. haha.
churches! well not really churches but christian grps. my best buddy VJ just came back from a mission trip to laos or vietnam a few wks ago. he took some nice pics with my camera... and he told me abt the trip, saying he and his mission frens cldn't preach coz the commie police were watching them all the time... so they cld only give pencils and balloons and etc to the village kids.
WOAH! hold the phone! u're preaching christianity to improvished, culturally drained communities?? WTF are u doing?!?!? these ppls have oready lost some of their cultural heritage due to communist oppression, and u wanna impose a new culture on them erasing wat little they hv?? WTF is wrong with u ppl???? if u wanna help u shd help restore their own culture!
if these idiots had their way... everyone wld be the same, hv the same culture, sing the same hymns, praise the same god, say the same churchy stuff... another form of globalisation! the mcdonald's of religon! come to think of it... a bit like communism also... want everyone to be homogeneous and believe the same things. oppressing other beliefs, other cultures. that's wat pisses me off abt christians. always wanna impose their beliefs on others. true, there are many who aren't liddat. many respect others. but i've met too many idiots trying to tell me abt bible and stuff against my own will, and lets face it... no other religion imposes itself on non-believers. well... radical islam does kill innocent ppl, but let's talk abt mainstream here. u dun see buddhist monks telling sikhs to shave their heads do u? or vice versa?
u know wat's best? VJ's church is sending another mission team to NEPAL! the fricking seat of buddhism, and u wanna talk abt jesus?? that's PLAIN RUDE. buddha oughta give u guys a slap using Ru Lai Shen Zhang man!! heng VJ is smart enuff not to join them. how wld the isrealis feel if dalai lama sends a team to try to convert them to buddhism...
so STOP ur evanglist activities!! stop being oppressive and plain annoying. (sorry bro... but it's something i feel strongly abt)
note to self: next time someone tries to convert me to christianity, i'll try to convert him to taoism and tell him all abt monkey god
churches! well not really churches but christian grps. my best buddy VJ just came back from a mission trip to laos or vietnam a few wks ago. he took some nice pics with my camera... and he told me abt the trip, saying he and his mission frens cldn't preach coz the commie police were watching them all the time... so they cld only give pencils and balloons and etc to the village kids.
WOAH! hold the phone! u're preaching christianity to improvished, culturally drained communities?? WTF are u doing?!?!? these ppls have oready lost some of their cultural heritage due to communist oppression, and u wanna impose a new culture on them erasing wat little they hv?? WTF is wrong with u ppl???? if u wanna help u shd help restore their own culture!
if these idiots had their way... everyone wld be the same, hv the same culture, sing the same hymns, praise the same god, say the same churchy stuff... another form of globalisation! the mcdonald's of religon! come to think of it... a bit like communism also... want everyone to be homogeneous and believe the same things. oppressing other beliefs, other cultures. that's wat pisses me off abt christians. always wanna impose their beliefs on others. true, there are many who aren't liddat. many respect others. but i've met too many idiots trying to tell me abt bible and stuff against my own will, and lets face it... no other religion imposes itself on non-believers. well... radical islam does kill innocent ppl, but let's talk abt mainstream here. u dun see buddhist monks telling sikhs to shave their heads do u? or vice versa?
u know wat's best? VJ's church is sending another mission team to NEPAL! the fricking seat of buddhism, and u wanna talk abt jesus?? that's PLAIN RUDE. buddha oughta give u guys a slap using Ru Lai Shen Zhang man!! heng VJ is smart enuff not to join them. how wld the isrealis feel if dalai lama sends a team to try to convert them to buddhism...
so STOP ur evanglist activities!! stop being oppressive and plain annoying. (sorry bro... but it's something i feel strongly abt)
note to self: next time someone tries to convert me to christianity, i'll try to convert him to taoism and tell him all abt monkey god
Getting a Tattoo?
was watching "killer waves" on channel 5. to think that if i hadn't pushed my phuket holiday forward exactly 1 mth to nov'04, i'd be caught right smack at the tsunami. 3 possible, terrible outcomes:
1) i'm alright but my family is worried to death
2) i'm alright but i break my heart for a lost fren who i treated more than just a fren
3) i get killed because i was on holiday with a fren who i treated more than just a fren but to whom i'm just a fren (ie. for no good reason)
and knowing i'm prone to do crazy things like go on solo overseas trips, eat fried larvae and not tell most people, i think i better take precautions. one of them might be getting a tattoo. yup... i've always been against vandalising my body with drawings or piercings... but was thinking of just writing chinese character "xun" on my left back shoulder... so at least if i get killed and my body is found bloated and decomposing somewhere... ppl can identify me, by my name no less. at least my family can hv closure and i hv a decent sending off. more on the sending off next time.
so why left back shoulder? i guess if my head get lopped off and seperated, it can be identified by my distinct dental records... i hv a ceramic tooth(heh heh) and my right side of the body has 2 screws (wow am i cool or wat? metal and ceramic implants!!)... so that leaves left side, somewhere not so often seen. butt is out. so... it's a thot.
1) i'm alright but my family is worried to death
2) i'm alright but i break my heart for a lost fren who i treated more than just a fren
3) i get killed because i was on holiday with a fren who i treated more than just a fren but to whom i'm just a fren (ie. for no good reason)
and knowing i'm prone to do crazy things like go on solo overseas trips, eat fried larvae and not tell most people, i think i better take precautions. one of them might be getting a tattoo. yup... i've always been against vandalising my body with drawings or piercings... but was thinking of just writing chinese character "xun" on my left back shoulder... so at least if i get killed and my body is found bloated and decomposing somewhere... ppl can identify me, by my name no less. at least my family can hv closure and i hv a decent sending off. more on the sending off next time.
so why left back shoulder? i guess if my head get lopped off and seperated, it can be identified by my distinct dental records... i hv a ceramic tooth(heh heh) and my right side of the body has 2 screws (wow am i cool or wat? metal and ceramic implants!!)... so that leaves left side, somewhere not so often seen. butt is out. so... it's a thot.
Staying Behind
I'll be staying back in sch 1 more semester than the rest of my cohort.
it'll be politically correct to say i wasn't focused on my studies; brutally frank to say i didn't study; analytically observant to say i just wasn't interested in studying engineering. part of the turn-off comes from media: engineers are always potrayed as uncool, boring, technical geeks... and some ppl i meet in this course match their future role to a T. i don't want to be uncool boring and technical. never fails that i ask myself every exam "why am i studying this? will this affect me in any, any way?" that question was the cause of one of the issues in my 1st posting.
anyway, that's that. I'll be staying 1 sem (only, hopefully) with hopefully 5 subjects (if i manage to clear all this sem) and FYP. at 1st i thot wat the heck, no big deal. i'll just hang out with juniors. but i look ard me and realise most of those i'm closest to are leaving! even those who came in earlier for 3 yr courses. now i feel i'm getting left behind. in another 6 mths, they'll be looking for a job or working and earning... i'll still stuck be in here studying. ppl will be moving on.
well.... i'm not particularly upset. disheartened probably. but there's not much i can do is there? LL and clear this ASAP.
note to self: study lah! dun blog so much.... hahah
it'll be politically correct to say i wasn't focused on my studies; brutally frank to say i didn't study; analytically observant to say i just wasn't interested in studying engineering. part of the turn-off comes from media: engineers are always potrayed as uncool, boring, technical geeks... and some ppl i meet in this course match their future role to a T. i don't want to be uncool boring and technical. never fails that i ask myself every exam "why am i studying this? will this affect me in any, any way?" that question was the cause of one of the issues in my 1st posting.
anyway, that's that. I'll be staying 1 sem (only, hopefully) with hopefully 5 subjects (if i manage to clear all this sem) and FYP. at 1st i thot wat the heck, no big deal. i'll just hang out with juniors. but i look ard me and realise most of those i'm closest to are leaving! even those who came in earlier for 3 yr courses. now i feel i'm getting left behind. in another 6 mths, they'll be looking for a job or working and earning... i'll still stuck be in here studying. ppl will be moving on.
well.... i'm not particularly upset. disheartened probably. but there's not much i can do is there? LL and clear this ASAP.
note to self: study lah! dun blog so much.... hahah
Coming Back
Wow. it's been almost 5 mths i hvn't touched this blog. well i guess that's coz i had other things to do and didn't hv the patience for this. but rite now i feel the need to ramble again. guess it's coz nowadays got so many weird thots coming out of my head, better write them somewhere b4 they fade into oblivion, just like the so many other thots before.
well... i dunno if i hv an audience at this pt in time, probably not. so i guess this is just for me. hahahah let's treat this as a fresh start shall we.......
well... i dunno if i hv an audience at this pt in time, probably not. so i guess this is just for me. hahahah let's treat this as a fresh start shall we.......
