"Can you stop picking fights everyday at 830 in the morning???" - sop
Feel so accomplished todae... scored another hit against the evil chinamen of LWN!! before going into the details, a minor detail: the crowd outside the lib doors is growing!! now it's reached the middle of the stairs leading to the lib liao. HORRIBLE. next wk i must bring my camera to sch to take photo, show u guys the horror mug-fest that is ntu.
So once again, i walk into the lib seeing chinamen in front running all over the lib like mice, and no available tables. i plonk myself on a table with four clear folders, and from 2 tables away, the same reaction comes: my frens are coming.
"so where r they?"
"coming in 5 minutes" (this is grammatically correct coz the conversation was in chinese, so now i'm translating)
"well too bad. i was here first, and i'm need to study too."
"dun liddat lah, they are girls..." (does it matter? and wld i care anyway?)
"so...?"
"ok we'll be taking the other three seats while u take one."
"two seats. i hv a fren coming."
"three seats."
"we'll see who comes 1st then."
i hurriedly sms alw to rush down.. but he was at the mercy of the rain and the mrt system. no matter... i settle down and read newspaper. i get back from the toilet and find more papers on the table infringing my space and my bag has been placed on my chair, but no one is there. i push back the papers and replace my bag on the chair next to me.
a while ltr, i go back with a filled water bottle and find 3 chinamen including the orginal one standing ard the table. they sit down after the one next to me asks abt the ownership of my bag and i place it on the floor beside me. "so, taking 2 tables now eh?" i ask the original chinaman. i do not get a reply, nor was i expecting one.
the chinamen open their folders but after a short while, the 2 opposite me get up and leave, but not before the original one takes something from his belongings 2 tables away. aha. i look below the table and see they did not bring their bags with them, only left folders. easy pickings.
alw arrives, but doesn't not settle down as he has a class. after he leaves, chinaman beside me goes to one of the cubicles nearby, takes some stuff and disappears as well. seems like they like to occupy two seats at different locations. their butts too big? or it makes it easier for them to spread butt lice and ring worms and other butt infestations they might hv?
no matter. i decide to hold my ground and stand firm. to change place now wld be to admit defeat. even if i hv to be at such close proximity to these inconsiderate, boorish, smelly, ugly chinamen, i will stay put. and mentally make a note to fark them up if they start their loud "whispering" and intend to educate them on wat whispering is exactly.
time passes but the 3 do not return. coming back from the toilet, i find 3 normal-looking guys settling down on the 3 now-empty places. cld they be mr chinaman's china frens? i ask and find out they are singaporean, and do not know any chinamen. woohoo!! they must hv vacated on their own accord!! SCORE!!!
in the end, i still failed to get alw a seat, later he settle down at the computers. but at least my act of holding my ground let another 3 genuine lib users get a chance to study. but unfortunately, i did not manage confine the chinamen's selfishness... the initial guy found a cubicle and is shuttling back and forth betw the cubicle and his place 2 tables away from me.
nvm... i am encouraged by this success and will continue my efforts in educating these louts. after exams, i'll see wat else i can do... maybe suggest some curbs to be handled by lib staff or maybe get some sch newspaper to do a feature exposing these ugly chinamen.
ok back to studying.
note to self: hold my ground!! i will not be bullied in my own country!!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Morning Adventures in LWN Library!
Currently Playing: I'm A Fool by Letters to Cleo
Really exciting morning today. After a quick breakfast, I made my way up to LWN lib at 825am coz i had heard that the chinamen queue to get in and wanted to see for myself. I was expecting an orderly, long, single file queue snaking down the stairs, probably 10 nerds in line.
Apparently, I forgot an interesting fact from my trip to china recently: chinamen dun queue. they SQUEEZE.
and true enuff, wat i saw literally threw the air out of my lungs. A huge, orgy-like mess of 50-60 chinamen nerds stuffed in front of the lib doors to the stairs. from where i was, i cldn't see a single space in between them. ppl were having trouble not falling off the stairs. it was like a revenge of the nerds class photo. reminded me of those "MPE Class of 200_" photos u see at MAE gen office, except with less balding heads.
bo pian... i had to follow the crowd in coz i was supposed to save a seat for alw. ppl were RUNNING to get tables and cubicles. and as soon as they threw their bags on the table and placed the notes so that every empty seat had its own set of notes, they left, presumably to the canteen for breakfast.
I looked ahead of me and couldn't see an empty seat in sight. remarkable. and I had enuff.
Background:
Earlier in the week i managed to get a cubicle coming into the lib at 8.32am. the table directly behind me had 1 set of notes for every empty chair, no bags, no ppl. i know coz that's where i dumped the china magazines that were left on my cubicle by some inconsiderate chinaman the night before. as i studied, quite a few ppl walked past looking for a seat... couldn't find.
very, very tempted to tell them that the table was empty, but decided not to make trouble 1st. the occupants (chinamen, of coz) came in only at 10am. so within that 1 1/2hrs of their absence, how many ppl did they deprive seats from? if u can't wake up early enuff, too bad. there are ppl who wake up earlier than u but can't find seats. fair?
To set things straight: i have no problems with ppl who chope the three other seats on their table coz their frens are coming. i myself like my studying material spread out on a bigger space so it's easier for me, but of coz i will make way if someone requests. but it is another thing to chope an entirely different table leaving 4 seats empty while others can't even find a seat.
Back to today:
so i looked at the table next to me - 2 sets of notes, 2 files. no bag. that'll do just fine. i set down my bag and newspaper and pushed the notes aside.
the thin red-shirted chinaman in front of me turned ard and stood up, telling me the table was for his frens.
"so where are they now?"
"they are coming, in about five minute."
i gave him a skeptical look. "OK. then i shall sit here until they arrive."
he hurriedly calls someone on the phone and walks off. i flip thru my paper.
a plump chinager with glasses comes soon enuff, offering me a table on the lower floor, as the chinamen want to sit together. i graciously accept her offer. i don't want to sit near chinamen who whisper as loudly as they talk anyway.
she shows me to the new table, i presume she is sensible enuff to speak some sense to.
"you're from... people's republic of china rite?" affirmative reply, of coz.
"look... a lot of u all just chope the whole table with four pieces of paper, when there are people who come earlier than ur frens looking for seats. pls be more considerate next time ok? i'm not being personal or anything here... this is just being selfish. OK?"
she probably got most of it, coz after i came back with my bag, i saw her talking to another chinager, who blurted out "mei you feng du"
well, if u ppl behave liddat, y shd i waste feng du on u?
hmm... apparently, the table i wanted to take was an extra one afterall... since they can exchange it for another, in a different part of the lib. so y do they need a whole extra table? they carry that many notes and text books and dictionaries? can't be selfish or "accidentally inconsiderate" coz they dun use it themselves. maybe they are just out to make studying difficult for non-chinamen so they can continue getting their A's...
note to self: Singaporeans Score!!! *sings* Stand Up For Singapore!! i shall not be bullied in my own country!!
Really exciting morning today. After a quick breakfast, I made my way up to LWN lib at 825am coz i had heard that the chinamen queue to get in and wanted to see for myself. I was expecting an orderly, long, single file queue snaking down the stairs, probably 10 nerds in line.
Apparently, I forgot an interesting fact from my trip to china recently: chinamen dun queue. they SQUEEZE.
and true enuff, wat i saw literally threw the air out of my lungs. A huge, orgy-like mess of 50-60 chinamen nerds stuffed in front of the lib doors to the stairs. from where i was, i cldn't see a single space in between them. ppl were having trouble not falling off the stairs. it was like a revenge of the nerds class photo. reminded me of those "MPE Class of 200_" photos u see at MAE gen office, except with less balding heads.
bo pian... i had to follow the crowd in coz i was supposed to save a seat for alw. ppl were RUNNING to get tables and cubicles. and as soon as they threw their bags on the table and placed the notes so that every empty seat had its own set of notes, they left, presumably to the canteen for breakfast.
I looked ahead of me and couldn't see an empty seat in sight. remarkable. and I had enuff.
Background:
Earlier in the week i managed to get a cubicle coming into the lib at 8.32am. the table directly behind me had 1 set of notes for every empty chair, no bags, no ppl. i know coz that's where i dumped the china magazines that were left on my cubicle by some inconsiderate chinaman the night before. as i studied, quite a few ppl walked past looking for a seat... couldn't find.
very, very tempted to tell them that the table was empty, but decided not to make trouble 1st. the occupants (chinamen, of coz) came in only at 10am. so within that 1 1/2hrs of their absence, how many ppl did they deprive seats from? if u can't wake up early enuff, too bad. there are ppl who wake up earlier than u but can't find seats. fair?
To set things straight: i have no problems with ppl who chope the three other seats on their table coz their frens are coming. i myself like my studying material spread out on a bigger space so it's easier for me, but of coz i will make way if someone requests. but it is another thing to chope an entirely different table leaving 4 seats empty while others can't even find a seat.
Back to today:
so i looked at the table next to me - 2 sets of notes, 2 files. no bag. that'll do just fine. i set down my bag and newspaper and pushed the notes aside.
the thin red-shirted chinaman in front of me turned ard and stood up, telling me the table was for his frens.
"so where are they now?"
"they are coming, in about five minute."
i gave him a skeptical look. "OK. then i shall sit here until they arrive."
he hurriedly calls someone on the phone and walks off. i flip thru my paper.
a plump chinager with glasses comes soon enuff, offering me a table on the lower floor, as the chinamen want to sit together. i graciously accept her offer. i don't want to sit near chinamen who whisper as loudly as they talk anyway.
she shows me to the new table, i presume she is sensible enuff to speak some sense to.
"you're from... people's republic of china rite?" affirmative reply, of coz.
"look... a lot of u all just chope the whole table with four pieces of paper, when there are people who come earlier than ur frens looking for seats. pls be more considerate next time ok? i'm not being personal or anything here... this is just being selfish. OK?"
she probably got most of it, coz after i came back with my bag, i saw her talking to another chinager, who blurted out "mei you feng du"
well, if u ppl behave liddat, y shd i waste feng du on u?
hmm... apparently, the table i wanted to take was an extra one afterall... since they can exchange it for another, in a different part of the lib. so y do they need a whole extra table? they carry that many notes and text books and dictionaries? can't be selfish or "accidentally inconsiderate" coz they dun use it themselves. maybe they are just out to make studying difficult for non-chinamen so they can continue getting their A's...
note to self: Singaporeans Score!!! *sings* Stand Up For Singapore!! i shall not be bullied in my own country!!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Teachers Actually DO Have a Life...
Currently Playing: Don't Know Why by Norah Jones
Today's new paper had an article abt a JC GP teacher's blog making fun of her students grammar mistakes in one entry. they put a screen shot of the blog but removed the url. un-smartly enuff, they failed to remove the top most bar where it says "Rockies Ramblings" on top of this screen... so i managed to find that blog anyway.
http://myplaypen.blogspot.com
just read that featured entry and scanned thru the place... GP teacher seems like an OK kinda person... busy with work but active and has some kind of a life. weird... in JC i nv saw teachers anything more than teachers... ppl who made our lives miserable in and out of school, with the rare, rare few giving us real knowledge in GP and econs. hahaha.
anyway. bad news. my fyp sup sent an email inviting me to his place on campus for a deepawali celebration with his family. he started with "dear folks" but my name was the only one on that particular email. ominous.
anyway. actually i wldn't mind going if it could score me brownie pts for fyp and possibly tips for my exam (as suggested by qz and alw) but it occured that i could be the only cheena student there (also gleefully suggested by qz and alw) and i wld stand out like a single green pea in a pack of muruku.
but the real, more terrifying reason for my unwillingness to go is coz it's on deepawali 1st nov itself, 6-9pm, while i hv my QA paper on 2nd nov morning. unless i could bunk in at his place to study, which i dun want to, i'd better not go.
so, how to say no respectfully without jeopardising my fyp and exam? hahahah but i must admit it's really nice of him to invite me. earlier this yr he wld gimme a blank look wondering who the hell i was everytime i stepped into his office. at least now he acknowledges my presence even in class.
OK. enuff abt teachers. gotta cover my quota for the day, and i hvn't even started. and tml got a quiz which i hv only tml to prepare. they still making my life miserable now...
note to self: SS & SS!
Today's new paper had an article abt a JC GP teacher's blog making fun of her students grammar mistakes in one entry. they put a screen shot of the blog but removed the url. un-smartly enuff, they failed to remove the top most bar where it says "Rockies Ramblings" on top of this screen... so i managed to find that blog anyway.
http://myplaypen.blogspot.com
just read that featured entry and scanned thru the place... GP teacher seems like an OK kinda person... busy with work but active and has some kind of a life. weird... in JC i nv saw teachers anything more than teachers... ppl who made our lives miserable in and out of school, with the rare, rare few giving us real knowledge in GP and econs. hahaha.
anyway. bad news. my fyp sup sent an email inviting me to his place on campus for a deepawali celebration with his family. he started with "dear folks" but my name was the only one on that particular email. ominous.
anyway. actually i wldn't mind going if it could score me brownie pts for fyp and possibly tips for my exam (as suggested by qz and alw) but it occured that i could be the only cheena student there (also gleefully suggested by qz and alw) and i wld stand out like a single green pea in a pack of muruku.
but the real, more terrifying reason for my unwillingness to go is coz it's on deepawali 1st nov itself, 6-9pm, while i hv my QA paper on 2nd nov morning. unless i could bunk in at his place to study, which i dun want to, i'd better not go.
so, how to say no respectfully without jeopardising my fyp and exam? hahahah but i must admit it's really nice of him to invite me. earlier this yr he wld gimme a blank look wondering who the hell i was everytime i stepped into his office. at least now he acknowledges my presence even in class.
OK. enuff abt teachers. gotta cover my quota for the day, and i hvn't even started. and tml got a quiz which i hv only tml to prepare. they still making my life miserable now...
note to self: SS & SS!
Monday, October 24, 2005
My Last No-Achievement Day
Currently Playing: Give It Away by Zero7 (thanx CS!)
todae is my last no-achievement day for the next 30 or so days... woke up at 10am, 12nn and 2pm. went out to buy lunch and papers, read them for 2 hrs, went back to sleep and woke up again at 530pm. sorted out notes, checked email, had dinner. hahah slack like hell.
background: i give myself a no-achievement day every now and then... just hv nothing on my plate the whole day. it has a dual purpose: to recharge, and so that the next day, i wake up to realise i hv 1 day less to accomplish wat i need to, panic and quickly start up my engine!!
my papers end exactly one mth from now... 23 nov. hopefully will pass all... but i realise hope rests mainly on effort (sorta) so from tml onwards everyday for 30days i gotta study! gotta cover all subjects in their entirety...
so apologies if i dun post stuff here too frequently liao... and if i do its probably gripes abt studies too. so dun expect much here for the next mth...
and do me a favour... if u see me online, tell me this is the last time liao! stop slacking!! or u can be "mean" like qz and ask me if i wanna grad with him... haahhaha keep me studying!! thanx a lot guys........
note to self: whether this is the last time is now dependent on myself... stop slacking & start studying!! (SS&SS)
todae is my last no-achievement day for the next 30 or so days... woke up at 10am, 12nn and 2pm. went out to buy lunch and papers, read them for 2 hrs, went back to sleep and woke up again at 530pm. sorted out notes, checked email, had dinner. hahah slack like hell.
background: i give myself a no-achievement day every now and then... just hv nothing on my plate the whole day. it has a dual purpose: to recharge, and so that the next day, i wake up to realise i hv 1 day less to accomplish wat i need to, panic and quickly start up my engine!!
my papers end exactly one mth from now... 23 nov. hopefully will pass all... but i realise hope rests mainly on effort (sorta) so from tml onwards everyday for 30days i gotta study! gotta cover all subjects in their entirety...
so apologies if i dun post stuff here too frequently liao... and if i do its probably gripes abt studies too. so dun expect much here for the next mth...
and do me a favour... if u see me online, tell me this is the last time liao! stop slacking!! or u can be "mean" like qz and ask me if i wanna grad with him... haahhaha keep me studying!! thanx a lot guys........
note to self: whether this is the last time is now dependent on myself... stop slacking & start studying!! (SS&SS)
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Too Used To Being Rude To Be Polite
On a roll todae.
This morning on my way to sch i got waylaid by a young girl who tried to burden me with a flyer to accompany me on my long long ride on the mrt, just outside the station. she tried something different - with every offer of a flyer, she let out a cheery "good morning!"
but the five ppl before me and I didn't give a crap. we just showed her our defensively open palms to indicate our disinterest. her fren some distance behind her good humouredly remarked that it was akin to having your picture taken unwillingly...
immediately after i heard that, not only i found humour in it, but also saw the contrast. here were 2 ppl, 1 trying harder than the other but still not getting anywhere. so y bother to try so hard? and i'm ashamed to say that i didn't at least give her a "good morning" back. too busy rejecting the flyer.
maybe we're too used to the sullen aunties and bored youngsters standing outside mrt stns dishing out limp flyers without a word... usually the youngsters wld be emotionlessly plugged into their mp3 players as well. we match disinterest with disinterest, used to it so many times until we cannot change tack even if the other party does.
in this case, its not abt service. i wldn't hv taken the flyer no matter wat. but it's abt being polite when been polite to.
note to self: return greetings as well as non-greetings!
This morning on my way to sch i got waylaid by a young girl who tried to burden me with a flyer to accompany me on my long long ride on the mrt, just outside the station. she tried something different - with every offer of a flyer, she let out a cheery "good morning!"
but the five ppl before me and I didn't give a crap. we just showed her our defensively open palms to indicate our disinterest. her fren some distance behind her good humouredly remarked that it was akin to having your picture taken unwillingly...
immediately after i heard that, not only i found humour in it, but also saw the contrast. here were 2 ppl, 1 trying harder than the other but still not getting anywhere. so y bother to try so hard? and i'm ashamed to say that i didn't at least give her a "good morning" back. too busy rejecting the flyer.
maybe we're too used to the sullen aunties and bored youngsters standing outside mrt stns dishing out limp flyers without a word... usually the youngsters wld be emotionlessly plugged into their mp3 players as well. we match disinterest with disinterest, used to it so many times until we cannot change tack even if the other party does.
in this case, its not abt service. i wldn't hv taken the flyer no matter wat. but it's abt being polite when been polite to.
note to self: return greetings as well as non-greetings!
She's The Man, He's The Woman?
With the same new paper in the previous post, i glanced at an ad which featured 4 butches.
during my 2nd round of the paper, i realised that they were one of the androgynous taiwanese boy(?)bands! 1st thot that it was F4... upon looking ard the ad, it turns out they were 5566. thot they had 5 or 6 ppl that's y call 5566? so now shdn't they change their name to 3344(in case one more person, realising the greatest mistake of his life, leaves)?
tsk tsk... now i know the reason y got so many butches ard(just saw another one todae. looked like sec 4 kid)... it's not coz more gals are turning lesbian, coz they all wanna be like their androgynous idols!!! (hey that wld be a great competition: androgynous idol! then that orlinder ((androgynous name alert! "prefix-linder" eg. or, ber, etc)) can finally get a singing contract instead of an acting one this time!)
chialat... now not only we gotta look out for guys who look like girls and girls who look like guys (refer to past posting), now we gotta also look out for guys who look like girls with short hair who look like guys, and girls who look like guys with long hair who look like girls! who's the man, who's the woman?
= added =
oh yah... another thing abt androgynous names... more and more of them popping out everywhere. from the usual "sam", "jo" to the nowsday popular "ashley"... now got sissy sounding "vaness" to the downright ridiculous "milk", "toro".... hahahahah dunno whether to laff or puke man... ("hi, i'm milk." "y do they call u that? coz u produce... ???")
any more androgynous names? pls feel free to contribute! maybe next time i'll write a book "what not to name ur kid: so that he/she doesn't get mistaken for a he-she"
during my 2nd round of the paper, i realised that they were one of the androgynous taiwanese boy(?)bands! 1st thot that it was F4... upon looking ard the ad, it turns out they were 5566. thot they had 5 or 6 ppl that's y call 5566? so now shdn't they change their name to 3344(in case one more person, realising the greatest mistake of his life, leaves)?
tsk tsk... now i know the reason y got so many butches ard(just saw another one todae. looked like sec 4 kid)... it's not coz more gals are turning lesbian, coz they all wanna be like their androgynous idols!!! (hey that wld be a great competition: androgynous idol! then that orlinder ((androgynous name alert! "prefix-linder" eg. or, ber, etc)) can finally get a singing contract instead of an acting one this time!)
chialat... now not only we gotta look out for guys who look like girls and girls who look like guys (refer to past posting), now we gotta also look out for guys who look like girls with short hair who look like guys, and girls who look like guys with long hair who look like girls! who's the man, who's the woman?
= added =
oh yah... another thing abt androgynous names... more and more of them popping out everywhere. from the usual "sam", "jo" to the nowsday popular "ashley"... now got sissy sounding "vaness" to the downright ridiculous "milk", "toro".... hahahahah dunno whether to laff or puke man... ("hi, i'm milk." "y do they call u that? coz u produce... ???")
any more androgynous names? pls feel free to contribute! maybe next time i'll write a book "what not to name ur kid: so that he/she doesn't get mistaken for a he-she"
A Very Good Reason for Staying In School
Until "O" levels, at least.
Today's new paper has an article, where a taiwanese man, after being bugged by his fren for abt 1/2 a mth, took $50 from his fren and killed him by shooting him in the chest.
no no, it wasn't a case of aggravated robbery + murder... it was a case of insurance claims gone wrong.
the "victim" hatched a brilliant scheme to claim the max payout from his insurance by getting injured as much as possible... by being shot in the chest. so he started bugging the shooter to shoot him, since he knew the shooter owned a pistol. i guess after the bugging, the $50 given prior to the shooting was a redundant incentive.
and if that wasn't intelligent enough, the "victim" was so smart as to think that his heart was in the right side of his chest, so the shooter was instructed to shoot the left side.
the shooter probably didn't know any better too...
Lessons learnt:
1) everyone shd stay in school long enuff to learn where their vital organs are located
2) ppl who didn't stay in school long enuff to learn that, shdn't own guns, or insurance policies
3) new mkt for mrt stn insurance agents: coverage for faulty education leading to death
hmm... i do know of some ppl i dun mind helping in this aspect... i give discount - $40! for "the poker", i give special discount - $30!!
(backgrd: the poker was in sch earlier this wk. dunno y also. quickly walked past him in the hope he didn't see me, and kena poke. for that, i give the extra discount!)
Today's new paper has an article, where a taiwanese man, after being bugged by his fren for abt 1/2 a mth, took $50 from his fren and killed him by shooting him in the chest.
no no, it wasn't a case of aggravated robbery + murder... it was a case of insurance claims gone wrong.
the "victim" hatched a brilliant scheme to claim the max payout from his insurance by getting injured as much as possible... by being shot in the chest. so he started bugging the shooter to shoot him, since he knew the shooter owned a pistol. i guess after the bugging, the $50 given prior to the shooting was a redundant incentive.
and if that wasn't intelligent enough, the "victim" was so smart as to think that his heart was in the right side of his chest, so the shooter was instructed to shoot the left side.
the shooter probably didn't know any better too...
Lessons learnt:
1) everyone shd stay in school long enuff to learn where their vital organs are located
2) ppl who didn't stay in school long enuff to learn that, shdn't own guns, or insurance policies
3) new mkt for mrt stn insurance agents: coverage for faulty education leading to death
hmm... i do know of some ppl i dun mind helping in this aspect... i give discount - $40! for "the poker", i give special discount - $30!!
(backgrd: the poker was in sch earlier this wk. dunno y also. quickly walked past him in the hope he didn't see me, and kena poke. for that, i give the extra discount!)
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Alamak
Girl proposed. Luckily, on msn.
Tried to throw her off the track by asking abt the details.
"you're rejecting me!" (she knows me well)
"sorrie lah... now's not the right time. need to be alone to study...", i offered.
"ok... next time i try again."
(these sentences might not be exact words, but meaning the same)
Tried to throw her off the track by asking abt the details.
"you're rejecting me!" (she knows me well)
"sorrie lah... now's not the right time. need to be alone to study...", i offered.
"ok... next time i try again."
(these sentences might not be exact words, but meaning the same)
Friday, October 14, 2005
Late Nite SMS
Just received this from CS. part of it anyway:
"dun lose to e universe! dun give up! rockie can do it!"
I won't, I won't, and I will.
thanx so much... i'm keeping it. ;-)
"dun lose to e universe! dun give up! rockie can do it!"
I won't, I won't, and I will.
thanx so much... i'm keeping it. ;-)
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Conspiracy!
The lab computer, which i'm using for my fyp, 1 out of only 2 PCs in the sch with the powerful simulation programme i'm using, and the only one that has all 8 of my simulation models, does not have the capacity to save screenshots onto microsoft word.
so all my simulation runs today came to nought coz i can't save anything to show in my report. of coz, my sim runs are the purpose of the report, aren't they? and tml's my last day in the lab.
The universe is out to get me, i swear.
so all my simulation runs today came to nought coz i can't save anything to show in my report. of coz, my sim runs are the purpose of the report, aren't they? and tml's my last day in the lab.
The universe is out to get me, i swear.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Always Fighting the Universe
Ever had one of those days where nothing ever goes right?
When something goes wrong, everything else tends to follow suit.
Feel that i'm always fighting against something.
Sometimes i know wat it is, sometimes i don't.
Of coz i'll continue fighting... seems there was never another way.
But sometimes I get tired, and wonder why me?
Light? or On-coming train?
btw, i hope 54497 horny hamsters gang rape the farker who took my ezlink card... hump in every orifice possible. must be some improverished loud smelly inconsiderate commie chinaman.
When something goes wrong, everything else tends to follow suit.
Feel that i'm always fighting against something.
Sometimes i know wat it is, sometimes i don't.
Of coz i'll continue fighting... seems there was never another way.
But sometimes I get tired, and wonder why me?
Light? or On-coming train?
btw, i hope 54497 horny hamsters gang rape the farker who took my ezlink card... hump in every orifice possible. must be some improverished loud smelly inconsiderate commie chinaman.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
The Perils of Modern Communication
Ever tried jio-ing frens for movie via sms nowadays? its difficult work. take my (very) recent experience:
ppl involved: piak, meng, kitty, kok, squid, me.
Day before planned movie (the exchange below is all thru sms, unless stated otherwise. words may be different but content is the same)
Mass sms from me to grp of frens: anyone wanna watch [insert 1st movie name] or [insert 2nd movie name] tml evening?
Replies -
piak: not free... gotta study for exams!
kok: change to afternoon? kitty wanna watch [insert movie name]
reply to kok: ok. u any time can rite? i ask kitty wat time free.
sms to kitty: u wanna watch [insert movie name] rite? tml afternoon wat time u free?
kitty: not free tml...
sms to kok: she not free lah
Hours later, in the evening
Squid: who going?
reply to squid: so far only kok and me
sms to kok: so far only 2 of us leh. u still on?
kok: kitty free in the evening.
me: u ask her can?
kok: working.
sms to kitty: you tml evening wat time free?
kitty: not free lah
me: then y kok keep saying u free?
kitty: haha... coz he stood
Hours hours later
sms to squid: so tml u wanna watch movie?
squid: may hv something on, will let u know later.
sms to kok: i think maybe only 2 of us, squid still ai mai ai mai
kok: get kitty lah, she at nite free
sms to kitty: kok says u free at nite. is this true?
[no reply]
Next afternoon, smses waiting for me
meng: paiseh reply so late. not free.
squid: ok i'm watching with u guys
reply to squid: just woke up. ok i'll book online, will confirm with others.
sms to kok: still on for movie? 2 of us and squid.
[no reply]
sms to squid: think my computer spoil. can u check timing and book movie?
squid: the others leh?
me: no others... irritated by kok who keep saying kitty free when she isn't. ok i'll ask him again. help me check movie online can? then sms me wat time and where.
squid: ok
sms to kok: for the movie, squid will check online and confirm with us.
Tired from rebooting my computer over and over again, takes a nap. woken up by call from kok
kok: where r u?
me: huh? wat? i'm at home... just woke up
kok: wat? didn't u get my sms? i'm at PS already!
me: wat sms?
kok: nvm... i'll call squid tell him not to come.
me: we can still watch later show rite?
kok: see how lah
smses waiting for me:
squid: u can check from newspaper? doing stuff now.
kok: ok meet at PS 630!
After a while, call squid. call gets rejected. call kok:
me: so how? still watching?
kok: not watching already
me: ok lor
misses squid's call when in toilet. calls back:
me: so how? not meeting already hor?
squid: you all lah! fricking waste my time only.
(hears kok's voice in the backgrd: "who's that?")
me: come on lor. it's u guys who couldn't make up ur minds. and kok keep saying kitty free when she's not.
squid: ok ok all our fault.
*click*
I call VJ
me: yo. ur church finish wat time? wanna catch midnite movie?
vj: 11plus. hmm... but i got stuff tml 8+. ends at 1pm, can meet u after that.
me: i could drive...
vj: i'm not sure wat time i can meet u, maybe earliest is 1140 liddat.
me: ok wat... watching midnite movie rite?
vj: ok anything lah. in church now, just sms me the details.
me: anything can lah? but u must confirm with me mah.
vj: yah ok. but i won't be replying u until later.
me: how late? need to book ticket asap wat.
vj: ok. by 8plus.
me: kae cya.
(decisive conversation over in less than 5mins)
So here are my gripes:
1) wild goose chases are NOT funny. so DO NOT say someone is free when SHE IS NOT. bo liao jokes waste time and money.
2) smses give us the convenience of replying whenever we want to, even if it is much, much later. but an early sms saying: "i'm interested, but i'll confirm with u later, at abt [insert timing]" helps the organisor decide whether to still carry on trying to organise, and does not leave everyone else hanging.
3) sometimes the organisor may need help in trying to organise. if u can help, help. if u can't help, quickly tell him u can't so he can find alternative sources.
4) and for goodness sake pls make up ur mind. if u can't decide betw 2 or more events, just decide anyway, so ur frens can go ahead with their plans. or if u're left hanging by one group, pls dun leave another backup group hanging in case the 1st grp pang seh u and u are left with no plans. since u dun like to be left hanging, other ppl also dun like. try to be decisive, coz ur decisions affect others too. and the reason others are affected is coz they take ur views into consideration.
5) calls are a more efficient, effective way of communication than sms.
note to self: since movie groups of 3 are so difficult to form, try asking just 1 fren instead.
ppl involved: piak, meng, kitty, kok, squid, me.
Day before planned movie (the exchange below is all thru sms, unless stated otherwise. words may be different but content is the same)
Mass sms from me to grp of frens: anyone wanna watch [insert 1st movie name] or [insert 2nd movie name] tml evening?
Replies -
piak: not free... gotta study for exams!
kok: change to afternoon? kitty wanna watch [insert movie name]
reply to kok: ok. u any time can rite? i ask kitty wat time free.
sms to kitty: u wanna watch [insert movie name] rite? tml afternoon wat time u free?
kitty: not free tml...
sms to kok: she not free lah
Hours later, in the evening
Squid: who going?
reply to squid: so far only kok and me
sms to kok: so far only 2 of us leh. u still on?
kok: kitty free in the evening.
me: u ask her can?
kok: working.
sms to kitty: you tml evening wat time free?
kitty: not free lah
me: then y kok keep saying u free?
kitty: haha... coz he stood
Hours hours later
sms to squid: so tml u wanna watch movie?
squid: may hv something on, will let u know later.
sms to kok: i think maybe only 2 of us, squid still ai mai ai mai
kok: get kitty lah, she at nite free
sms to kitty: kok says u free at nite. is this true?
[no reply]
Next afternoon, smses waiting for me
meng: paiseh reply so late. not free.
squid: ok i'm watching with u guys
reply to squid: just woke up. ok i'll book online, will confirm with others.
sms to kok: still on for movie? 2 of us and squid.
[no reply]
sms to squid: think my computer spoil. can u check timing and book movie?
squid: the others leh?
me: no others... irritated by kok who keep saying kitty free when she isn't. ok i'll ask him again. help me check movie online can? then sms me wat time and where.
squid: ok
sms to kok: for the movie, squid will check online and confirm with us.
Tired from rebooting my computer over and over again, takes a nap. woken up by call from kok
kok: where r u?
me: huh? wat? i'm at home... just woke up
kok: wat? didn't u get my sms? i'm at PS already!
me: wat sms?
kok: nvm... i'll call squid tell him not to come.
me: we can still watch later show rite?
kok: see how lah
smses waiting for me:
squid: u can check from newspaper? doing stuff now.
kok: ok meet at PS 630!
After a while, call squid. call gets rejected. call kok:
me: so how? still watching?
kok: not watching already
me: ok lor
misses squid's call when in toilet. calls back:
me: so how? not meeting already hor?
squid: you all lah! fricking waste my time only.
(hears kok's voice in the backgrd: "who's that?")
me: come on lor. it's u guys who couldn't make up ur minds. and kok keep saying kitty free when she's not.
squid: ok ok all our fault.
*click*
I call VJ
me: yo. ur church finish wat time? wanna catch midnite movie?
vj: 11plus. hmm... but i got stuff tml 8+. ends at 1pm, can meet u after that.
me: i could drive...
vj: i'm not sure wat time i can meet u, maybe earliest is 1140 liddat.
me: ok wat... watching midnite movie rite?
vj: ok anything lah. in church now, just sms me the details.
me: anything can lah? but u must confirm with me mah.
vj: yah ok. but i won't be replying u until later.
me: how late? need to book ticket asap wat.
vj: ok. by 8plus.
me: kae cya.
(decisive conversation over in less than 5mins)
So here are my gripes:
1) wild goose chases are NOT funny. so DO NOT say someone is free when SHE IS NOT. bo liao jokes waste time and money.
2) smses give us the convenience of replying whenever we want to, even if it is much, much later. but an early sms saying: "i'm interested, but i'll confirm with u later, at abt [insert timing]" helps the organisor decide whether to still carry on trying to organise, and does not leave everyone else hanging.
3) sometimes the organisor may need help in trying to organise. if u can help, help. if u can't help, quickly tell him u can't so he can find alternative sources.
4) and for goodness sake pls make up ur mind. if u can't decide betw 2 or more events, just decide anyway, so ur frens can go ahead with their plans. or if u're left hanging by one group, pls dun leave another backup group hanging in case the 1st grp pang seh u and u are left with no plans. since u dun like to be left hanging, other ppl also dun like. try to be decisive, coz ur decisions affect others too. and the reason others are affected is coz they take ur views into consideration.
5) calls are a more efficient, effective way of communication than sms.
note to self: since movie groups of 3 are so difficult to form, try asking just 1 fren instead.
Declaration
In light of the recent crackdowns, as sole author of this blogspace, i declare the following:
- I will not single out any community for blog fodder.
- I will not be complaining abt any of my tutors and lecturers in a way that they can search and identify themselves from any search engine.
- I will not be complaining abt any of my former teachers also.
- I will not be commenting anymore about the gahmen, nor any public service body or stat boards or companies linked to the gahmen, lest the police come round to slap me on the wrist.
- There are no white mammals, or any other white creatures, or mammals of any other colour, placed anywhere on this blog.
- I have NOTHING against the colour white. it is a nice colour.
- I have NOTHING against other colours. esp ppl of other colours. or any colour.
- I am not being racist! and i do not judge ppl by their skin colour! skin colours do not matter to me!
- Oh no i'm digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole... pls dun arrest me... i didn't mean anything defamatory... help!!! i need subhas anandan's number!!! nowadays the in-thing to do when charged with murder is to say u're mentally unstable liao... i wonder if i can say that voices told me to type all this?
- I will not single out any community for blog fodder.
- I will not be complaining abt any of my tutors and lecturers in a way that they can search and identify themselves from any search engine.
- I will not be complaining abt any of my former teachers also.
- I will not be commenting anymore about the gahmen, nor any public service body or stat boards or companies linked to the gahmen, lest the police come round to slap me on the wrist.
- There are no white mammals, or any other white creatures, or mammals of any other colour, placed anywhere on this blog.
- I have NOTHING against the colour white. it is a nice colour.
- I have NOTHING against other colours. esp ppl of other colours. or any colour.
- I am not being racist! and i do not judge ppl by their skin colour! skin colours do not matter to me!
- Oh no i'm digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole... pls dun arrest me... i didn't mean anything defamatory... help!!! i need subhas anandan's number!!! nowadays the in-thing to do when charged with murder is to say u're mentally unstable liao... i wonder if i can say that voices told me to type all this?
Pasta Buffet!
Oh well... at least, barring the movie-sms incident, the wkend so far has been ok... early in the wk, zz jio-ed us for a fridae pasta buffet at CPF building... $12 all u can eat!! of coz i onz lah....
but unfortunately... we all were late in meeting him. i wanted to finish my fyp data compiling before i ended the day... and it took longer than expected. i let him know, and later he sms-ed me saying there wld be chance i wld still be the earliest!! think he had the impression i had finished when i sms-ed him... but i only finished 1hr after that... oops. it's v sian when u organise outing and u're the earliest, and v to wait for everyone else... so i sms-ed him my apologies. and turns out the ala carte buffet's last order was soon!! i managed to rush down just in time...
girl and sy were already there with zz, almost done with eating. well the good thing abt going just in time for closing at a ala carte buffet is when u order everything at one shot, the feeling is SHIOK!!! the whole table in front of me had plates and plates of pasta, pizza, side dishes and desserts. one mouth creamy pasta... next is fish... followed by banana pizza... followed by hawaiian... followed by brownie... followed by tomato-based pasta... more banana pizza... SHIOK!!!
ahhaha too busy eating to join in conversation, so the 3 of them talked. managed to hear bits and pieces here and there... but the food took priority... esp since i hardly had lunch in preparation for this!! girl said she enjoyed watching me eat... i make the food seem so delicious... well i'm not a fussy eater lah. as long as got lots and lots, i happy liao.
seems there's been changes with sy and girl... not close to sy in the 1st place, but girl and i hvn't been talking for a while liao... girl, i'm glad for u... but proceed carefully k? still too early to say wat will happen.
after that went for ktv... 4 ppl for 4 hrs!! v fun... seems like quite a while nv play with zz & girl liao... too bad zow not there. maybe it seems long coz been too busy in sch, nv see the 2 girls since girl's house warming.... but ok... enuff fun liao. now gotta stop thinking abt playing and piah this last stretch.....
thanx for a v fun nite guys... ;-) in dec, after stanchart we go sentosa like old times k...
but unfortunately... we all were late in meeting him. i wanted to finish my fyp data compiling before i ended the day... and it took longer than expected. i let him know, and later he sms-ed me saying there wld be chance i wld still be the earliest!! think he had the impression i had finished when i sms-ed him... but i only finished 1hr after that... oops. it's v sian when u organise outing and u're the earliest, and v to wait for everyone else... so i sms-ed him my apologies. and turns out the ala carte buffet's last order was soon!! i managed to rush down just in time...
girl and sy were already there with zz, almost done with eating. well the good thing abt going just in time for closing at a ala carte buffet is when u order everything at one shot, the feeling is SHIOK!!! the whole table in front of me had plates and plates of pasta, pizza, side dishes and desserts. one mouth creamy pasta... next is fish... followed by banana pizza... followed by hawaiian... followed by brownie... followed by tomato-based pasta... more banana pizza... SHIOK!!!
ahhaha too busy eating to join in conversation, so the 3 of them talked. managed to hear bits and pieces here and there... but the food took priority... esp since i hardly had lunch in preparation for this!! girl said she enjoyed watching me eat... i make the food seem so delicious... well i'm not a fussy eater lah. as long as got lots and lots, i happy liao.
seems there's been changes with sy and girl... not close to sy in the 1st place, but girl and i hvn't been talking for a while liao... girl, i'm glad for u... but proceed carefully k? still too early to say wat will happen.
after that went for ktv... 4 ppl for 4 hrs!! v fun... seems like quite a while nv play with zz & girl liao... too bad zow not there. maybe it seems long coz been too busy in sch, nv see the 2 girls since girl's house warming.... but ok... enuff fun liao. now gotta stop thinking abt playing and piah this last stretch.....
thanx for a v fun nite guys... ;-) in dec, after stanchart we go sentosa like old times k...
Friday, October 07, 2005
Tired.
6 mths ago...
Zow: Been studying hard?
Me: Been hard studying.
quiz today. quiz tml. Fuckingup-Your-Personallife(For-Your-Prof) FYP report due in 2 wks. 6 papers. 2 have some clue, 2 have a few clues, 2 have no clues. tml's quiz is a no clue one.
brain dead. but not letting go. the longer i drag this, the worse its going to get.
i wanna faster get out, and prove that wat matters is not grades, but passion, interest, motivation & a desire to prove myself, to perform.
i'm going to be a success. then one day the U is going to invite me to speak at a convocation, where i'll be the one telling all those mortar boards, "you're all screwed. 1st class? lagi gone case. u'll all end up working for ppl like me, who didn't even hv a convo."
The newspapers will conduct an in-depth interview, where i'll tell them these 4 1/2 yrs were a perfect waste of time: expensive, unstimulating, rigourous without purpose. and how short-sighted those in power were back then... to slot everyone into pigeon holes using their arbitrary classifications. Quote from the interview: "Things are better... now that I'M in charge."
these 7 years are coming to an end. i only hope that the light, at the end of the tunnel, does not turn out to be an oncoming train.
Zow: Been studying hard?
Me: Been hard studying.
quiz today. quiz tml. Fuckingup-Your-Personallife(For-Your-Prof) FYP report due in 2 wks. 6 papers. 2 have some clue, 2 have a few clues, 2 have no clues. tml's quiz is a no clue one.
brain dead. but not letting go. the longer i drag this, the worse its going to get.
i wanna faster get out, and prove that wat matters is not grades, but passion, interest, motivation & a desire to prove myself, to perform.
i'm going to be a success. then one day the U is going to invite me to speak at a convocation, where i'll be the one telling all those mortar boards, "you're all screwed. 1st class? lagi gone case. u'll all end up working for ppl like me, who didn't even hv a convo."
The newspapers will conduct an in-depth interview, where i'll tell them these 4 1/2 yrs were a perfect waste of time: expensive, unstimulating, rigourous without purpose. and how short-sighted those in power were back then... to slot everyone into pigeon holes using their arbitrary classifications. Quote from the interview: "Things are better... now that I'M in charge."
these 7 years are coming to an end. i only hope that the light, at the end of the tunnel, does not turn out to be an oncoming train.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
FUCK terrorist
It's been 3 days since 1 Japanese, 1 Australian, 17 Indonesians and 3 whose nationality as yet unidentified were blown to bits in midst of their dinner. Another 130 people were injured by the force of the blast and tiny ball bearings-turned-projectiles. Somehow, I feel outraged.
It's been 3 years since 1 Oct 2002 when the 1st bombs were set off in Bali. 9 months later, my good frens and I went for a 5D holiday there, and were met with many (empty) stalls selling "FUCK terrorist" T-shirts... if anything, a pissed-off way to try to earn their lost living. I wish I had the nerve then to buy one of those shirts home.
Still, the trip there was great, notwithstanding that it was one of the rare baggage-less trips I've had with frens. The people were all nice and frenly, from hotel staff to stall holders, save for one indian lady who refused to let go of my arm unless i, her 1st morning customer, bought a cap (kok had to pull me out of her grasp). We went surfing (resulting in injuries), white water rafting, volcano visiting, bargain shopping, cablevision watching and mass sleeping-together (haha). The only thing that warranted complaints was the food: Mac's and Dunkin' Donuts were ranked as our favourite food there.
And in a chilling light, restaurants were blown up this time.
Today's Today newspaper printed the grotesque photos of the 3 suicide bombers' severed heads, while yesterday's New Paper printed one of the heads with corresponding left arm. Identified as Indonesian, their 3 faces are unblemished by the blasts, thus regconisable, only distorted by expressions of death.
Us ordinary folks might be appalled by the photos... considering them grotesque and thinking it is a horrible fate to be blown up; but that was wat exactly these 3 men wanted. To be exploded up, along with the people who just happened to be around them.
Currently, the world in general uses "civilised" methods to deal with such terrorists: we conduct long hearings to prove them guilty and throw them in jail for long sentences, or worse, we hang/shoot/electrocute them. To us, that is the worst we can do, fairly and humanely.
But what does a person who's willing to blow himself to bits so as to become a martyr in the other world think of all this? The terrorist dubbed "the smiling bomber" should give us a clue. I forgot his name, but this nickname was given coz during such a court hearing to prove him guilty of the 1st Bali bombings, he was smiling all the way. It was probably all a joke to him. He's prepared to die... so wat's a jail sentence to him?
So, what's the impact of our civilised methods in stopping terrorism nowadays? we spend tons of money and resources to stop them from dying (and taking plenty of others with them), throw them into jail for a fized amount of time, spending more money on their food and other necessities, and hope that when they are released in years to come, they give up their old ways and be good citizens.
But what i forsee is in prison, they meet others who have also fallen afoul of the ruling law of the land; who probably wldn't mind causing some destruction to civilised society if they had the means. So they mix around and in time to come, we have more bombers just waiting to be released back into society when the time, that we have given them, is up. This is unless the terrorists are kept in solitary confinement their whole sentences. but one day, when released, they may still have the desire to blow people up.
There has to be another way to stem these acts of terrorism; and we cannot use the same old ways to deal with them. They are not murderers, with a specific target. They did not manslaughter, with no motive. They are modern-day terrorists, only seen before in recent times. Thus new enemies call for new weapons of deterence. Yup, I'm about to propose something controversial.
Since death is of little consequence for these terrorists, once they sign up, we have to deter them from signing up. And since the worst punishment we can mete out to them is death, which they already want, we have to hit them where it hurts: their families.
I'm not advocating killing innocents to stop them from killing innocents... no killing is involved here. My suggestion is to still try these terrorists for whatever crimes they are found guilty of, through our long processes, but also slap charges on all their immediate family members: parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses, children: anyone directly related to them by blood.
The charge would be of "harbouring a known terrorist". These terrorists, unfortunately, seem largely of Asian descent, and with Asian descent comes strong family ties. It would be impossible for an immediate family member to not know what their relative had been up to, if in constant contact and especially living under the same roof. For this deterrent to work, once the terrorist is found guilty, the immediate family would be automatically guilty as well.
The aim here is to DETER anyone from signing up to be a terrorist: so this must be made public. I propose all the family members be seperated and all placed in isolation, except the children. The adults will be made to do hard labour, and work for their food and other necessities. For the children, they should be cared for by the state, educated by mainstream means and taught that this fate that befell their families was brought upon by their terrorist relative, who sought to kill innocents. This is so that they grow up to be good citizens, have the right thinking and condemn terrorism as well.
Sentences should be carried out concurrently, and family members be released the same time the criminal is due to be released. This will let the family reunite, with lessons learnt. It is hoped that the former terrorist, after learning of the hardship he brought his loved ones, renounces his old ways; for if he chooses to follow that path again, the same will follow for his loved ones, regardless of whether he lives or not.
This should be made public and examples should be documented in mainstream media, so everyone wld know wat fate befalls a terrorist and his family. After all, everyone will have someone related to him by blood. This can apply to anyone who is involved in terrorist activities, alive or already blown to bits at the time of trial. With this, hopefully we can deter people from joining terrorist groups and thus stem the senseless, purposeless violence and bloodshed.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Almost 25 (Entry No. 101)
Almost 25, but still in school.
Studied for 18 years, but never held a job before.
4 yrs as an adult, but still totally dependent on parents.
Used to build simple gadgets, but now detest engineering.
Used to want to be a professor, but now can't stand the sight of them.
Used to like working with machines, but now prefer dealing with people.
Need to think in numbers, but prefer to think with words.
In a world of one-right-answers, but prefer to deal with uncertainty.
Specialising in manufacturing, but sending out resumes to banks.
Needs time to grasp maths concepts, but understands economics with little effort.
Supposed to understand physical forces, but prefer to understand market ones.
Uninterested in Planck and Boltzman, but love to read Freud and Jung.
Sick of studying such crap, can't wait to be working.
Things that I'm good at, can't really earn me a living.
Things that I'm trained in, would make for miserable living.
Things that I'm interested in and can earn me a living, don't know me too well.
All I can depend on, is not what I am, but who I am.
What's important? What's out there, or what's in here?
Nothing to my name, but only hope and potential.
The more things change, the more they remain the same.
Note to self: Two more months left to bring about a more drastic change.
Studied for 18 years, but never held a job before.
4 yrs as an adult, but still totally dependent on parents.
Used to build simple gadgets, but now detest engineering.
Used to want to be a professor, but now can't stand the sight of them.
Used to like working with machines, but now prefer dealing with people.
Need to think in numbers, but prefer to think with words.
In a world of one-right-answers, but prefer to deal with uncertainty.
Specialising in manufacturing, but sending out resumes to banks.
Needs time to grasp maths concepts, but understands economics with little effort.
Supposed to understand physical forces, but prefer to understand market ones.
Uninterested in Planck and Boltzman, but love to read Freud and Jung.
Sick of studying such crap, can't wait to be working.
Things that I'm good at, can't really earn me a living.
Things that I'm trained in, would make for miserable living.
Things that I'm interested in and can earn me a living, don't know me too well.
All I can depend on, is not what I am, but who I am.
What's important? What's out there, or what's in here?
Nothing to my name, but only hope and potential.
The more things change, the more they remain the same.
Note to self: Two more months left to bring about a more drastic change.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Wet Thoughts
Currently Playing: Spinning by Zero 7 (weird song for a hot afternoon. hahah. more suited for a cool nite. love their music...)
Wow. 100 posts oready... actually was saving that number for a "reviewing" kinda entry... but i guess i'll do that later. got stuff to write abt before i forget.
i'm very fortunate to have a pool downstairs... went for a swim earlier. and when i say swim, i don't mean tearing around the pool touching walls. well i do, but with breaks in between. breaks which i use to soak in the water and collect my thots. or in todae's case, unleash my thots free.
i look at my arms, suspended in the water at a natural 60 degree angle, and everytime it reminds me of a photo of a 26Dec2004 tsunami victim. He seems to be a portly middle aged gentleman, was probably floating around for sometime before they found him. even when placed on his back, his stiff cold arms are at that very same angle as mine was... to think i could have been there and got caught in the tsunami... if we didn't change our travel plans.
with the 2-3 near death experiences i can "boast" of... and reading newspapers abt fatal car accidents, suicides, murders... i realise i nv want myself or my loved ones to experience that kind of loss... prematurely anyway. all i want is a simple life... no need high gripping emotional drama, i just want everyone to be safe and sound and happy.
but then... maybe this thinking is kinda holding me back though. i seldom take big risks... and thus nv get any high returns either. i hold back when i think there's a chance i cld get hurt, physically or otherwise. so i dun experience wat others do, wat i cld hv. i take calculated risks... but maybe i shd adjust my calculations a little the next time i'm offered a chance to do cliff jumping or take a high cable ski-ride...
back to the thing abt death... i'm a living organism... but wats makes me up is millions of cells, all living as well. when i die, do all of them die immediately as well? i realise that the other parts of me will die coz the heart stops beating and supplying them oxygen via blood. then all of me will start rotting and getting eaten by bacteria together. hahah...
but do limbs, a stomach, a heart, 2 lungs, 2 kidneys and a brain make a nervous schoolboy? no... the whole is larger than the sum of its parts. and wat makes that true is our memory... without such a great memory, every morning we'd need to learn how to walk and talk again, and who we are, who the ppl ard us are. it is our memory that makes us who we are. so when someone kena alzheimers or amnesia, they lose who they are. that is fricking sad man...
well, enuff of flying thots. i start swimming again, soaking the water as the water soaks me. it is a thick, cold blanket; surrounding me everywhere and resisting my every movement. it cloaks me fully, wrapping my limbs, coolly brushing in between my fingers and toes, sticking its cold fingers into my ears and filling them up. and it feels great.
if not for the necessity to breathe, i wld hv let it encompass me fully for a longer time. in it, i feel insulated, wrapped in an impregnable case, away from studies, away from life, away from everything. no floor, no walls, no chairs, no computer, no books, nothing, no one. i am all alone in space and time, and loving it.
i change position, putting my feet on the edge of the pool and lying in the water on my back, arms stretched out. i'm only kept afloat by the air in my lungs. when i breathe out, i start sinking. when i breathe in, my head and body float up again. i go up and down, the water's at my ears, then covering my eyes, then receding again. but i stop soon enuff. i hope no one thot i was dead.
that's another reason y i love water so much. in water, i can float and twist and turn without needing a floor. unconstrained by gravity and ground, i feel free... more free than land allows. i can levitate, suspend myself, hover, swerve, glide, spin, and do anything u can think of. i guess that's the thrill of diving to me. the fishes and corals are wonderful, but the main draw for me is the freedom of movement it provides, and the adventurous risk that comes with it.
i reluctantly decide its time to get out. ironically, i wanted to give myself an excuse to soak in the sun rays, but it being behind clouds mostly, i ended soaking something else more mysterious, more encompassing. i'm going back tml.
Wow. 100 posts oready... actually was saving that number for a "reviewing" kinda entry... but i guess i'll do that later. got stuff to write abt before i forget.
i'm very fortunate to have a pool downstairs... went for a swim earlier. and when i say swim, i don't mean tearing around the pool touching walls. well i do, but with breaks in between. breaks which i use to soak in the water and collect my thots. or in todae's case, unleash my thots free.
i look at my arms, suspended in the water at a natural 60 degree angle, and everytime it reminds me of a photo of a 26Dec2004 tsunami victim. He seems to be a portly middle aged gentleman, was probably floating around for sometime before they found him. even when placed on his back, his stiff cold arms are at that very same angle as mine was... to think i could have been there and got caught in the tsunami... if we didn't change our travel plans.
with the 2-3 near death experiences i can "boast" of... and reading newspapers abt fatal car accidents, suicides, murders... i realise i nv want myself or my loved ones to experience that kind of loss... prematurely anyway. all i want is a simple life... no need high gripping emotional drama, i just want everyone to be safe and sound and happy.
but then... maybe this thinking is kinda holding me back though. i seldom take big risks... and thus nv get any high returns either. i hold back when i think there's a chance i cld get hurt, physically or otherwise. so i dun experience wat others do, wat i cld hv. i take calculated risks... but maybe i shd adjust my calculations a little the next time i'm offered a chance to do cliff jumping or take a high cable ski-ride...
back to the thing abt death... i'm a living organism... but wats makes me up is millions of cells, all living as well. when i die, do all of them die immediately as well? i realise that the other parts of me will die coz the heart stops beating and supplying them oxygen via blood. then all of me will start rotting and getting eaten by bacteria together. hahah...
but do limbs, a stomach, a heart, 2 lungs, 2 kidneys and a brain make a nervous schoolboy? no... the whole is larger than the sum of its parts. and wat makes that true is our memory... without such a great memory, every morning we'd need to learn how to walk and talk again, and who we are, who the ppl ard us are. it is our memory that makes us who we are. so when someone kena alzheimers or amnesia, they lose who they are. that is fricking sad man...
well, enuff of flying thots. i start swimming again, soaking the water as the water soaks me. it is a thick, cold blanket; surrounding me everywhere and resisting my every movement. it cloaks me fully, wrapping my limbs, coolly brushing in between my fingers and toes, sticking its cold fingers into my ears and filling them up. and it feels great.
if not for the necessity to breathe, i wld hv let it encompass me fully for a longer time. in it, i feel insulated, wrapped in an impregnable case, away from studies, away from life, away from everything. no floor, no walls, no chairs, no computer, no books, nothing, no one. i am all alone in space and time, and loving it.
i change position, putting my feet on the edge of the pool and lying in the water on my back, arms stretched out. i'm only kept afloat by the air in my lungs. when i breathe out, i start sinking. when i breathe in, my head and body float up again. i go up and down, the water's at my ears, then covering my eyes, then receding again. but i stop soon enuff. i hope no one thot i was dead.
that's another reason y i love water so much. in water, i can float and twist and turn without needing a floor. unconstrained by gravity and ground, i feel free... more free than land allows. i can levitate, suspend myself, hover, swerve, glide, spin, and do anything u can think of. i guess that's the thrill of diving to me. the fishes and corals are wonderful, but the main draw for me is the freedom of movement it provides, and the adventurous risk that comes with it.
i reluctantly decide its time to get out. ironically, i wanted to give myself an excuse to soak in the sun rays, but it being behind clouds mostly, i ended soaking something else more mysterious, more encompassing. i'm going back tml.
