Phrase: "Why didn't you do that?"
Meaning: "You should have done that."
Phrase: "You had 8 months to work on the project. How much time did you spend on learning the software?"
Meaning: "I don't expect you to have another 12 subjects to worry about, or have a life outside this project."
Phrase: "I see you spent a lot of time on simulation."
Meaning: "You were slacking away, weren't you?"
Phrase: "I don't think that is feasible."
Meaning: "Stop trying to smoke me, you young punk."
Phrase: "How can you apply this to manufacturing or logistics?"
Meaning: "I don't see any relevance whatsoever to this entire project."
Phrase: "You must realise the real world is not so ideal, you know?"
Meaning: "Aren't you glad I'm just an academic and don't know any better as well?"
Phrase: "If this was in a real work environment, you'd be in serious trouble."
Meaning: "If I was your boss, I would so fire you on the spot right now."
Phrase: "Why are you doing your presentation now? Four and a half years? This is your final semester?"
Meaning: "I'm wondering if I should be a nasty, evil old man."
Phrase: "All the best." *Smile*
Meaning: "If not for the fact that your sup and I are buddies, you'd be seeing me again in 6 months."
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Lessons Learnt from Presentation
1) Being a nice cheerful guy only earns u points with ur direct supervisor, but not a moderator who has nv seen u before.
2) Substance must come with style. No substance got how much style also no use.
3) Never do means never do.
4) Give over and beyond the minimum.
5) Put in more effort than needed.
6) Follow up on own initiative instead of confining ur scope to that of the direct supervisor.
7) Practice your speeches more than once.
8) Slowly walk the audience thru, and not jump into the next steps.
9) Be nice to your supervisor anyway, coz he can come to your defence.
10) No one can resist chocolates.
2) Substance must come with style. No substance got how much style also no use.
3) Never do means never do.
4) Give over and beyond the minimum.
5) Put in more effort than needed.
6) Follow up on own initiative instead of confining ur scope to that of the direct supervisor.
7) Practice your speeches more than once.
8) Slowly walk the audience thru, and not jump into the next steps.
9) Be nice to your supervisor anyway, coz he can come to your defence.
10) No one can resist chocolates.
Monday, November 28, 2005
More Singaporean Trends
The local butches are getting weirder, if the one i encountered really is one.
On his/her name tag was printed "ian", but the baby smooth complexion and high kiddy voice, skinny frame and lack of boobs, not to mention short bed-head hair, left me rather perplexed.
not only are these ppl confused, they're confusing others as well!!
it's ok if others are private citizens who dun give a crap, but i wanna work in the service line some time soon, and imagine my dilemma when addressing someone like that.
With standards being pushed to improve, i cant go "wat u want?" which is now construed as "rude". i must go "good morning sir/madam*, how may i help u?" (* means i can only use one option, not both)
but when i get these guys, most prob i'd be going "good morning sir...? madam...? how may i help you?" (notice the words are same but punctuation changed) then most prob i'll be thot of as rude as well!
chiatlat... it's a lose-lose situation. with everyone confused, how to give good service? maybe these "high-risk" customers shd let us know how they wanna be addressed... maybe wearing those ugly baggy street clothes they are akin to wear, with big bold words proclaiming "i'm actually a girl" or "i really wanna be a guy" or even "i was a guy" so at least hapless service staff can be less hapless.
on another note. some melvyn tan guy claiming to be a renouned and probably meaning rich pianist has come back to singapore after being a wussy and escaping NS call up by staying far far away from home in cultural-enriched, vibrant, cosmopolitan, plagued-by-4-seasons UK. oh the poor thing...
the courts, taking these matters on a case-by-case basis, took into account his long years of suffering away from home in an expensive european country the majority of the population can only dream of going via winning a chan brothers' lucky draw, the fact that his long years of suffering made him into a renouned pianist who could potentially draw tourist dollars, and probably also coz he bears a unfortunate striking resemblance to paddy chew(skinny botak faggot who proudly announced to everyone he had aids from butt fucking before dying of it). and slapped him with a possible MAXIMUM of S$5000.00 without JAIL TIME for ditching his NS obligation.
many ppl (esp those who actually DID serve NS while also suffering for long yrs away from their little HDB flats.) are up in arms about the seemingly little "slap on the wrist", while in NS, 1 day AWOL means a few days in the army prison. wat more shd a guy get, missing for he entire 2 1/2 yrs + all the reservist in camp trainings?
to add salt to the smarting wound, pianist guy claimed to the newspapers he doesn't rem how much the fine was, sort of gloating that the money spent was insignificant to him. of coz, he could probably bring in much more than that in tourist dollars.
so, unlike the rest of sg men who are flying into rages over the cheapening of NS, like any entreprising cosmopolitan singaporean, like how gahmen also tell us to be, i've decided to work this to my advantage.
once i sign up for my yamaha guitar course, with the receipt i'll be going over to MINDEF, and with $5000.00 to pay for all my reservist in-camp trainings. since i served my 2 yrs liability liao, i think it'll be less than that, but they can keep the change. the receipt will show that i'll be a renouned guitarist one day bringing in plenty of tourist dollars so it is justified. meanwhile, i'll spend a few terrible years suffering away in sunny australia, where they dun hang evil drug traffickers, wintry new zealand, where they have more sheep and hobbits than ppl, or plagued-by-terrorists USA, where they have one bomb detector for every arab.
don't cry for me singapore, i'm suffering so i can bring u guys tourist dollars. maybe after playing at las vegas shows to full houses and making obscene amts of money, i'll play at the IRs to my fellow countrymen for a discounted price of $599/- per ticket.
and hopefully in other countries there'll be less gender-confused ppl out to confuse me.
On his/her name tag was printed "ian", but the baby smooth complexion and high kiddy voice, skinny frame and lack of boobs, not to mention short bed-head hair, left me rather perplexed.
not only are these ppl confused, they're confusing others as well!!
it's ok if others are private citizens who dun give a crap, but i wanna work in the service line some time soon, and imagine my dilemma when addressing someone like that.
With standards being pushed to improve, i cant go "wat u want?" which is now construed as "rude". i must go "good morning sir/madam*, how may i help u?" (* means i can only use one option, not both)
but when i get these guys, most prob i'd be going "good morning sir...? madam...? how may i help you?" (notice the words are same but punctuation changed) then most prob i'll be thot of as rude as well!
chiatlat... it's a lose-lose situation. with everyone confused, how to give good service? maybe these "high-risk" customers shd let us know how they wanna be addressed... maybe wearing those ugly baggy street clothes they are akin to wear, with big bold words proclaiming "i'm actually a girl" or "i really wanna be a guy" or even "i was a guy" so at least hapless service staff can be less hapless.
on another note. some melvyn tan guy claiming to be a renouned and probably meaning rich pianist has come back to singapore after being a wussy and escaping NS call up by staying far far away from home in cultural-enriched, vibrant, cosmopolitan, plagued-by-4-seasons UK. oh the poor thing...
the courts, taking these matters on a case-by-case basis, took into account his long years of suffering away from home in an expensive european country the majority of the population can only dream of going via winning a chan brothers' lucky draw, the fact that his long years of suffering made him into a renouned pianist who could potentially draw tourist dollars, and probably also coz he bears a unfortunate striking resemblance to paddy chew(skinny botak faggot who proudly announced to everyone he had aids from butt fucking before dying of it). and slapped him with a possible MAXIMUM of S$5000.00 without JAIL TIME for ditching his NS obligation.
many ppl (esp those who actually DID serve NS while also suffering for long yrs away from their little HDB flats.) are up in arms about the seemingly little "slap on the wrist", while in NS, 1 day AWOL means a few days in the army prison. wat more shd a guy get, missing for he entire 2 1/2 yrs + all the reservist in camp trainings?
to add salt to the smarting wound, pianist guy claimed to the newspapers he doesn't rem how much the fine was, sort of gloating that the money spent was insignificant to him. of coz, he could probably bring in much more than that in tourist dollars.
so, unlike the rest of sg men who are flying into rages over the cheapening of NS, like any entreprising cosmopolitan singaporean, like how gahmen also tell us to be, i've decided to work this to my advantage.
once i sign up for my yamaha guitar course, with the receipt i'll be going over to MINDEF, and with $5000.00 to pay for all my reservist in-camp trainings. since i served my 2 yrs liability liao, i think it'll be less than that, but they can keep the change. the receipt will show that i'll be a renouned guitarist one day bringing in plenty of tourist dollars so it is justified. meanwhile, i'll spend a few terrible years suffering away in sunny australia, where they dun hang evil drug traffickers, wintry new zealand, where they have more sheep and hobbits than ppl, or plagued-by-terrorists USA, where they have one bomb detector for every arab.
don't cry for me singapore, i'm suffering so i can bring u guys tourist dollars. maybe after playing at las vegas shows to full houses and making obscene amts of money, i'll play at the IRs to my fellow countrymen for a discounted price of $599/- per ticket.
and hopefully in other countries there'll be less gender-confused ppl out to confuse me.
A Long Time No See Wkend
Currently Playing: ARGHZ!! that stupid chicken little song that keeps playing in my head!!! I will NOT watch that frickin movie!!!
Anyway. aside from negative exposure to bad music, this wkend was great... something unseen in a long while.
Met girl, chel & zz at ECP... surprise surprise i was the 1st, and only one on time, even though i dilly dallied and walked/jogged there... i guess that means i can dilly and dally even longer... hahah
we ran an astounding 6.6km!! from mac to fort rd and back. it doesn't sound too far coz it's the the nearer end of ecp... we even ambitiously wanted to run to the food ctr!! siao!!! on the way back to mac i oready dying liao... even fell into a walk for a while. was seriously wondering how to run further than mac when i saw chel stop running just after mac. relieved....
but not bad ah.. for a guy who hasn't run for 2 mths due to "suspected foot bone fracture"!! hahah
all sticky and in shorts & singlet, i blur blur went with them to bugis and PS... but we split after coffee. went back and bathe and concuss. before sleeping dad asked me if beef kway teow was ok for dinner... so i dreamt that i was eating it... woke up and ate "again"! hahah
next morning woken up by a call from girl... say wanna go buy adidas. ok lor... i only got 20mins left to sleep anyway... hahah. but then on the way out my 2.45pm appt (kitty) and 12noon appt (eve) cancelled on me... so i kena one huge chunk of empty time betw lunch with girl til dinner w ally.
so decided to
1) go the new national lib see see look look,
2) go PS check out yamaha classes,
3) go cafe cartel eat brownie,
4) go taka buy chocolates for fyp sup & lab aunty,
5) go borders get something to read.
i only managed to
1) go the new national lib see see look look.
hahahahah
got distracted by a 2nd hand book sale at bras basah... spend $18.90 for 3 books... no need go borders liao, but after abt 1 hr of browsing a multitude of old musty yellowed books, i felt kinda giddy... dunno if coz i kept my head down so much or the smell... hahah
nat lib's han's has good KOPI!! just normal kopi... not the lah teh or the moh char....
and the nat lib has a lot, a lot of empty space. they packed the normal lending/reading lib only at B1, and stuff the terrorism exhibition there as well, but on the upper floors, besides the gardens on the 5th and 10th floors, still lots of empty rooms or exhibition space.
travel tip: ride down at least 10 floors on the lifts facing out the building, standing near the glass walls!! adrenaline rush!! hahahah the designers kindly places hand grips for ur terrified convenience, but i dun see anywhere u can puke except the fake potted plants near the lift doors...
on my way to walk to city hall/PS, i crossed the road and saw this beat up old pinkish car that looked like ally's. was a "sabrina" (SBR) too... looked at the driver and it WAS ally! hahahha wat a freaky coincidence...
so we went off together. hotel phoenix was fully booked so we settled on PS cafe cartel, where i had my brownie eventually. overall, a very nice, busy, eventful wkend. thanx to all who made it happen, even the cancellations. hahah
note to self: soup + main course + brownie = too full. packed wkend = long boring entry
Anyway. aside from negative exposure to bad music, this wkend was great... something unseen in a long while.
Met girl, chel & zz at ECP... surprise surprise i was the 1st, and only one on time, even though i dilly dallied and walked/jogged there... i guess that means i can dilly and dally even longer... hahah
we ran an astounding 6.6km!! from mac to fort rd and back. it doesn't sound too far coz it's the the nearer end of ecp... we even ambitiously wanted to run to the food ctr!! siao!!! on the way back to mac i oready dying liao... even fell into a walk for a while. was seriously wondering how to run further than mac when i saw chel stop running just after mac. relieved....
but not bad ah.. for a guy who hasn't run for 2 mths due to "suspected foot bone fracture"!! hahah
all sticky and in shorts & singlet, i blur blur went with them to bugis and PS... but we split after coffee. went back and bathe and concuss. before sleeping dad asked me if beef kway teow was ok for dinner... so i dreamt that i was eating it... woke up and ate "again"! hahah
next morning woken up by a call from girl... say wanna go buy adidas. ok lor... i only got 20mins left to sleep anyway... hahah. but then on the way out my 2.45pm appt (kitty) and 12noon appt (eve) cancelled on me... so i kena one huge chunk of empty time betw lunch with girl til dinner w ally.
so decided to
1) go the new national lib see see look look,
2) go PS check out yamaha classes,
3) go cafe cartel eat brownie,
4) go taka buy chocolates for fyp sup & lab aunty,
5) go borders get something to read.
i only managed to
1) go the new national lib see see look look.
hahahahah
got distracted by a 2nd hand book sale at bras basah... spend $18.90 for 3 books... no need go borders liao, but after abt 1 hr of browsing a multitude of old musty yellowed books, i felt kinda giddy... dunno if coz i kept my head down so much or the smell... hahah
nat lib's han's has good KOPI!! just normal kopi... not the lah teh or the moh char....
and the nat lib has a lot, a lot of empty space. they packed the normal lending/reading lib only at B1, and stuff the terrorism exhibition there as well, but on the upper floors, besides the gardens on the 5th and 10th floors, still lots of empty rooms or exhibition space.
travel tip: ride down at least 10 floors on the lifts facing out the building, standing near the glass walls!! adrenaline rush!! hahahah the designers kindly places hand grips for ur terrified convenience, but i dun see anywhere u can puke except the fake potted plants near the lift doors...
on my way to walk to city hall/PS, i crossed the road and saw this beat up old pinkish car that looked like ally's. was a "sabrina" (SBR) too... looked at the driver and it WAS ally! hahahha wat a freaky coincidence...
so we went off together. hotel phoenix was fully booked so we settled on PS cafe cartel, where i had my brownie eventually. overall, a very nice, busy, eventful wkend. thanx to all who made it happen, even the cancellations. hahah
note to self: soup + main course + brownie = too full. packed wkend = long boring entry
Friday, November 25, 2005
One Big Thing? or Many Small Things?
Exams are finally over.
But after a mth of one-task-a-day, now the multitude of things i'm supposed to do overwhelm me! hahahha
Got so many things that i put off for exams, and to prepare myself for wat lies ahead.
Just from now until next Sun, i got FYP presentation, buying of new PC, Stanchart run, Star Wars, frens and family stuff to take care of.
Gotta start doing things to help in my job search and "work-life balance" hahahha
A bit not sure where to start also. oh well... one at a time i guess. but i wanna make use of the drive i feel now before it dies off from slacking... hahaha
note to self: One BIG thing to focus on lets me have total concentration, but a multitude of things keeps me from getting bored. just gotta make sure i concentrate on each thing fully when i'm doing it... then to let my mind wander too much... hehz.
But after a mth of one-task-a-day, now the multitude of things i'm supposed to do overwhelm me! hahahha
Got so many things that i put off for exams, and to prepare myself for wat lies ahead.
Just from now until next Sun, i got FYP presentation, buying of new PC, Stanchart run, Star Wars, frens and family stuff to take care of.
Gotta start doing things to help in my job search and "work-life balance" hahahha
A bit not sure where to start also. oh well... one at a time i guess. but i wanna make use of the drive i feel now before it dies off from slacking... hahaha
note to self: One BIG thing to focus on lets me have total concentration, but a multitude of things keeps me from getting bored. just gotta make sure i concentrate on each thing fully when i'm doing it... then to let my mind wander too much... hehz.
Monday, November 21, 2005
It's The Little Things
When something so big and overwhelming invades ur life, the little things suddenly become so impt, while everything else just fades into the background.
Little Things like:
- Coffee, 1 cup every 6 hrs.
- Blasting rock music / Class95.
- Playing my new Zero7 CD at nite so I can relax enuff to fall asleep fast.
- Being able to get 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep.
- Sweets. At least 3 types: mints, chewy ones & hard ones.
- Newspaper to get my mind off studies.
- SMSes that remind me I'm not alone.
- Amazing Race, Lost, Taken & Survivor. Apprentice just ended 2 wks ago.
As such, it doesn't take much to piss me off too. OK it nv takes much anyway... but nowsaday my short fuse is even shorter than usual.
And now i realise why ppl smoke... if this dragged on longer i'd probably hv taken it up too... hahahha
Coz when they go outside and light up... they are taken away from their books and notes and such crap to a far more relaxing place... away from everyone else and they can leave all those equations and formulas and graphs and x, y, z's behind, and just be able to concentrate on one thing: sucking in that smoky bliss deep all the way into their depths, let it clear out their insides (literally) and expend it all out slowly, deliberately. repeat until flame dies out. bliss. escape from all the stress and all the quotas and the tutorials and memorising and everything else that is senseless. drugs and alcohol probably provide such a great escape from the insanity of the world too.
Well... i get that kind of escape too, but one which is, i hope, less damaging in the form of coffee. bliss. blissblissbliss. i go sit by myself at one quiet corner on a faraway stair and gently blow the smooth scalding beverage and let it slowly seep and burn all the way down my gullet. all i need to concentrate on is following the burning seepage all the way down and escape from all the madness. Of coz, i still stick to the healthy limit of 3 cups a day. (hey, a large cup is still a cup k?)
they say one of the true measures of a man is wat he does when times are rough. so this is me? selfish, mercenary, quick-tempered, hard-to-please, easily-frustrated, almost succumbing to the things i hate so much?
at nite i waste electricity by having the aircon on, just so that i dun get disturbed by ppl going to toilet.
i dream of sch work / library / mrt (pick one) every nite.
i tok to frens only when i need to. (i.e. abt exams)
i get mildly irritated when ppl take more of my sweets than i expect (i.e. more than one at a time)
i hvn't cut my hair in mths.
i get pissed when i dunno how to do tutorial qns and ppl see it.
i don't go home for dinner.
i can't be bothered with many frens anymore.
hopefully, i'll get over this phase and be a better person once again. and hopefully, the next time i get overwhelmed again, at least it'll be something i enjoy doing.
at least it'll nv be as bad as this again... can always tell myself "i've been thru worse" from now on... just like titiwangsa. hahah.
time for coffee. before piahing again. sigh.
Little Things like:
- Coffee, 1 cup every 6 hrs.
- Blasting rock music / Class95.
- Playing my new Zero7 CD at nite so I can relax enuff to fall asleep fast.
- Being able to get 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep.
- Sweets. At least 3 types: mints, chewy ones & hard ones.
- Newspaper to get my mind off studies.
- SMSes that remind me I'm not alone.
- Amazing Race, Lost, Taken & Survivor. Apprentice just ended 2 wks ago.
As such, it doesn't take much to piss me off too. OK it nv takes much anyway... but nowsaday my short fuse is even shorter than usual.
And now i realise why ppl smoke... if this dragged on longer i'd probably hv taken it up too... hahahha
Coz when they go outside and light up... they are taken away from their books and notes and such crap to a far more relaxing place... away from everyone else and they can leave all those equations and formulas and graphs and x, y, z's behind, and just be able to concentrate on one thing: sucking in that smoky bliss deep all the way into their depths, let it clear out their insides (literally) and expend it all out slowly, deliberately. repeat until flame dies out. bliss. escape from all the stress and all the quotas and the tutorials and memorising and everything else that is senseless. drugs and alcohol probably provide such a great escape from the insanity of the world too.
Well... i get that kind of escape too, but one which is, i hope, less damaging in the form of coffee. bliss. blissblissbliss. i go sit by myself at one quiet corner on a faraway stair and gently blow the smooth scalding beverage and let it slowly seep and burn all the way down my gullet. all i need to concentrate on is following the burning seepage all the way down and escape from all the madness. Of coz, i still stick to the healthy limit of 3 cups a day. (hey, a large cup is still a cup k?)
they say one of the true measures of a man is wat he does when times are rough. so this is me? selfish, mercenary, quick-tempered, hard-to-please, easily-frustrated, almost succumbing to the things i hate so much?
at nite i waste electricity by having the aircon on, just so that i dun get disturbed by ppl going to toilet.
i dream of sch work / library / mrt (pick one) every nite.
i tok to frens only when i need to. (i.e. abt exams)
i get mildly irritated when ppl take more of my sweets than i expect (i.e. more than one at a time)
i hvn't cut my hair in mths.
i get pissed when i dunno how to do tutorial qns and ppl see it.
i don't go home for dinner.
i can't be bothered with many frens anymore.
hopefully, i'll get over this phase and be a better person once again. and hopefully, the next time i get overwhelmed again, at least it'll be something i enjoy doing.
at least it'll nv be as bad as this again... can always tell myself "i've been thru worse" from now on... just like titiwangsa. hahah.
time for coffee. before piahing again. sigh.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
A Round Peg In A Square Hole
No matter how u try, cannot fit one.
so y dun u stop wasting ur time and my time, let this all slide and just gimme that piece of paper.
it's just going to be for display purposes anyway... i promise i wun use it for it's supposed purpose.
i don't want to anyway...
just close on eye and gimme all D's can liao.
let me off... i've been here 4yrs longer than i want to liao.
so y dun u stop wasting ur time and my time, let this all slide and just gimme that piece of paper.
it's just going to be for display purposes anyway... i promise i wun use it for it's supposed purpose.
i don't want to anyway...
just close on eye and gimme all D's can liao.
let me off... i've been here 4yrs longer than i want to liao.
Friday, November 18, 2005
When It's Darkest...
They say it's always darkest before the dawn.
I try to reassure myself that it is so.
That it'll only get bright from here on out.
That in a week's time I will see the sun again.
That I'll finally be free.
Unless, of course, it's dark, but not the darkest yet.
And I don't know it coz I dunno how dark it's going to get.
So when it's darkest...
It just might get darker still.
Hahahaha.
I try to reassure myself that it is so.
That it'll only get bright from here on out.
That in a week's time I will see the sun again.
That I'll finally be free.
Unless, of course, it's dark, but not the darkest yet.
And I don't know it coz I dunno how dark it's going to get.
So when it's darkest...
It just might get darker still.
Hahahaha.
Monday, November 14, 2005
PC Down
my computer at home got problem... cannot start up properly. anyway i also need to piah for my (hopefully) very last 2 papers next wk, so wun be coming here unless really need to.
no worries... shd be getting a new PC soon if my current one can't be revived.
think i did hv something to write abt, but can't rem wat it was liao... so heck lor.
meanwhile, hang in there dear readers!! if u experience withdrawal symptoms due to lack of new entries, try to ease ur pain by reading some of my old ones.
note to self: study!!
no worries... shd be getting a new PC soon if my current one can't be revived.
think i did hv something to write abt, but can't rem wat it was liao... so heck lor.
meanwhile, hang in there dear readers!! if u experience withdrawal symptoms due to lack of new entries, try to ease ur pain by reading some of my old ones.
note to self: study!!
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Frequency
Currently Playing: Over Our Heads by Zero7 from my NEW Zero7 CD!!! (Thanx guys...)
just watched the movie "Frequency" on TV... i watched it in the cinema before, and it left a very deep impression on me. still remember it up to now... at least 3-4 yrs liao. i came out of it probably even more affected than after i came out of saving private ryan... hahah
= synopsis:
in 1999, under an aurora filled sky, a 36 yr old policeman switches on his father's old ham radio set for his fren and manages to speak to his fireman father, who's been dead for 30 yrs. policeman convinces his dad to take another course of action while fighting the fire that would supposedly kill him.
then as the new set of events 30yrs ago unfold differently, the policeman gets added memories... he now remembers all he knew before, but with a conflicting memory of his father dying of lung cancer 10 yrs ago instead... which his frens agree to as well.
but then he also realises that his mum is now missing from his life... turns out in saving his dad, things changed and his mum got murdered by a serial killer instead. still in contact with his dad from 30 yrs ago when his mum was still alive, father and son work together; father stopping the murders before they happen, while son tries to establish the murderer's identity from past crime records.
= end of synopsis... dun wanna spoil the movie if u guys wanna watch it.
maybe it sounds a little far fetched, a little cheesy, or just a little too confusing (my father got a bit blur)... but i find its a great "family working together" story and abt the son getting back what he lost years ago... and gave me the revelation that wat u do now affects ur future in ways u may not know. and i was reminded of it again.
so that's y i am who i am... i am not willing to do some things coz i know in the long run, it's going to hurt me, like smoking, drinking, gambling. and y i am willing to take certain risks and unwilling to take some others. coz just like in the show survivor, wat u do will ultimately come back to haunt u.
cautious? well at least i wun mess up too badly ;-)
just watched the movie "Frequency" on TV... i watched it in the cinema before, and it left a very deep impression on me. still remember it up to now... at least 3-4 yrs liao. i came out of it probably even more affected than after i came out of saving private ryan... hahah
= synopsis:
in 1999, under an aurora filled sky, a 36 yr old policeman switches on his father's old ham radio set for his fren and manages to speak to his fireman father, who's been dead for 30 yrs. policeman convinces his dad to take another course of action while fighting the fire that would supposedly kill him.
then as the new set of events 30yrs ago unfold differently, the policeman gets added memories... he now remembers all he knew before, but with a conflicting memory of his father dying of lung cancer 10 yrs ago instead... which his frens agree to as well.
but then he also realises that his mum is now missing from his life... turns out in saving his dad, things changed and his mum got murdered by a serial killer instead. still in contact with his dad from 30 yrs ago when his mum was still alive, father and son work together; father stopping the murders before they happen, while son tries to establish the murderer's identity from past crime records.
= end of synopsis... dun wanna spoil the movie if u guys wanna watch it.
maybe it sounds a little far fetched, a little cheesy, or just a little too confusing (my father got a bit blur)... but i find its a great "family working together" story and abt the son getting back what he lost years ago... and gave me the revelation that wat u do now affects ur future in ways u may not know. and i was reminded of it again.
so that's y i am who i am... i am not willing to do some things coz i know in the long run, it's going to hurt me, like smoking, drinking, gambling. and y i am willing to take certain risks and unwilling to take some others. coz just like in the show survivor, wat u do will ultimately come back to haunt u.
cautious? well at least i wun mess up too badly ;-)
It's A Surprise After All!
Currently Playing: Home by Zero7 from my Zero7 CD!! (Thanx so much to CS, ZZ, Zow and Girl)
Haha! apparently they picked up and acted upon the previous entry much sooner than expected... so it's a surprise after all!! you guys planned it all along didn't you??? hahahahha
chialat lah u all... just setting the standard for urselves higher only. next yr even if 1 mth after my birthday, i'll still be looking over my shoulder wondering when u all are going to pop out from under the table or on my way to the toilet... hahahha
once again... thanx u guys. everything was great... the food, the CD, the cake, the thot.
fact of the day: when i need to pee, i'm unattentive to everything else!!
Haha! apparently they picked up and acted upon the previous entry much sooner than expected... so it's a surprise after all!! you guys planned it all along didn't you??? hahahahha
chialat lah u all... just setting the standard for urselves higher only. next yr even if 1 mth after my birthday, i'll still be looking over my shoulder wondering when u all are going to pop out from under the table or on my way to the toilet... hahahha
once again... thanx u guys. everything was great... the food, the CD, the cake, the thot.
fact of the day: when i need to pee, i'm unattentive to everything else!!
Friday, November 11, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Freedom
Currently Playing: Joy Zipper - Christine Bonilla by Zero7
In reference to the previous entry.
Well... i dun blame anyone... squid is always harping on expectations... although he seems to take it a little bit more to heart than is healthy, i do learn from his lessons, and after a very bad one on myself, i've decided that "expectations" is a bad word when it comes to others... hahha i try not to expect much from anyone liao. haha... wld that make me more cynical than i already am?
i guess everyone has their own busy lives and busy work schedules and busy work-life balances and busy accompanying their busy bfs/gfs and busy this and busy that, of which i'm mostly not part of. in fact, that i got any birthdae smses is great liao, coz these ppl did rem that it's my birthdae, even though i dun really "celebrate" it. shd really thank the ppl who actually spend 5 cents to make me feel good.
chope. just a thot. seems that my bdae isn't a big deal until someone forgets it. hahah.
so it's ok. i know now this may seem like a ploy to make them feel guilty or attract attention or watever... but its not. they read this too, but i dun care. this is my outlet, i write wat i want.
besides, it's when i hv an issue in my head that i write well. rite?
so... no matter. no big deal.
and u know... i've been spending the longest time waiting and waiting... waiting for that someone who will come along and magically change everything: suddenly my world wld be full of colour, full of fun and adventures, full of companionship and love. so much so that now my schedule's rather empty, but i dun bother with it until the week before or even that same week, where i realise my fricking schedule's so empty i look like a total loser and will be fricking bored.
and just 3-4 yrs ago my schedule wld be so packed u wld need to book 2 wks in advance to get me out on a wkend, and that wld be if u were lucky.
basically, kind of like on standby so i can spend all my available free time with that angel whenever she chose to descend from the heavens. so i start calling up ppl (sometimes rather last minute) and make plans to meet up for movie, dinner, supper, anything.
ok enuff. i'm not going to wait ard anymore... enuff of moaning and groaning and wondering y it's impossible to get some ppl out and empty promises and endless waiting and standby and whatnot.
once the papers are over, i shall set off to do the things i like, with or without companions, just like old times. i shall get my own busy, busy schedule and busy fulfilled lifestyle and finally do the things i wanna do and not watch time slip by. can take a (wet) feather from squid's cap... look at him. regular weekly guitar, climbing, whatnot... (hey, i'm not saying this just coz u were 1st to sms me that nite... hahah)
That is, of coz, still dependent on wat happens next. recently i came across two quotes:
and
So i'm rather free... but depending on your definition of freedom. hahah.
So do i hv enuff freedom to run off solo to NZ and do crazy stunts and put myself at risk of physical harm as well as open myself to mugging, getting lost, cheating, kidnapping, (receiving end, of coz) etc. opportunities?
To answer that question, let me share another quote.
note to self: 25 yrs liao. how many more u wanna waste?
In reference to the previous entry.
Well... i dun blame anyone... squid is always harping on expectations... although he seems to take it a little bit more to heart than is healthy, i do learn from his lessons, and after a very bad one on myself, i've decided that "expectations" is a bad word when it comes to others... hahha i try not to expect much from anyone liao. haha... wld that make me more cynical than i already am?
i guess everyone has their own busy lives and busy work schedules and busy work-life balances and busy accompanying their busy bfs/gfs and busy this and busy that, of which i'm mostly not part of. in fact, that i got any birthdae smses is great liao, coz these ppl did rem that it's my birthdae, even though i dun really "celebrate" it. shd really thank the ppl who actually spend 5 cents to make me feel good.
chope. just a thot. seems that my bdae isn't a big deal until someone forgets it. hahah.
so it's ok. i know now this may seem like a ploy to make them feel guilty or attract attention or watever... but its not. they read this too, but i dun care. this is my outlet, i write wat i want.
besides, it's when i hv an issue in my head that i write well. rite?
so... no matter. no big deal.
and u know... i've been spending the longest time waiting and waiting... waiting for that someone who will come along and magically change everything: suddenly my world wld be full of colour, full of fun and adventures, full of companionship and love. so much so that now my schedule's rather empty, but i dun bother with it until the week before or even that same week, where i realise my fricking schedule's so empty i look like a total loser and will be fricking bored.
and just 3-4 yrs ago my schedule wld be so packed u wld need to book 2 wks in advance to get me out on a wkend, and that wld be if u were lucky.
basically, kind of like on standby so i can spend all my available free time with that angel whenever she chose to descend from the heavens. so i start calling up ppl (sometimes rather last minute) and make plans to meet up for movie, dinner, supper, anything.
ok enuff. i'm not going to wait ard anymore... enuff of moaning and groaning and wondering y it's impossible to get some ppl out and empty promises and endless waiting and standby and whatnot.
once the papers are over, i shall set off to do the things i like, with or without companions, just like old times. i shall get my own busy, busy schedule and busy fulfilled lifestyle and finally do the things i wanna do and not watch time slip by. can take a (wet) feather from squid's cap... look at him. regular weekly guitar, climbing, whatnot... (hey, i'm not saying this just coz u were 1st to sms me that nite... hahah)
That is, of coz, still dependent on wat happens next. recently i came across two quotes:
You are only as free as your choices.
and
Freedom: Another word for Nothing To Lose.
So i'm rather free... but depending on your definition of freedom. hahah.
So do i hv enuff freedom to run off solo to NZ and do crazy stunts and put myself at risk of physical harm as well as open myself to mugging, getting lost, cheating, kidnapping, (receiving end, of coz) etc. opportunities?
To answer that question, let me share another quote.
To discover new lands, one must lose sight of the shore.
note to self: 25 yrs liao. how many more u wanna waste?
4th November 2005
Currently Playing: Passing By by Zero7
Midnite: received happie birthdae smses from squid (1st one), someone possibly significant, someone insignificant, and my YEP nurse. nice of her to rem :-)
Morning: got more smses, with a esp meaningful one from someone unexpected. went for the paper.
Afternoon: a few more SMSes here and there. but totally none so far from a particular group - which nv fails to turn up somewhere with a cake (no matter how cheapo).
Aha! i put 2 and 2 together and deduce they must hv pretended to "forget" my bdae... and will show up to surprise me! i play it cool.
qz, alw and sop jio me to study at their table... hmm... they know that i study with them... could these 3 be in the plot too, and want to keep an eye on me? i take their offer.
i eye them suspiciously everytime they start sms-ing furiously. reporting my whereabouts to particular ppl? they leave the table now and then... sop keeps asking when we'll be eating dinner. *wink wink*
Evening: I look up anytime someone walks near our table, preparing to look unsurprised when the familiar faces pop up. i even plan to ask nonchalantly "when's ur next paper?" even though they grad liao. of coz to act cool on seeing them in sch when they dun hv a good reason to be here (but actually they do)
can't settle down to study. i wonder out loud whether i shd go home early in an attempt to set off alarm bells from sop and qz. they try to convince me to stay on to study. ok then. *wink*
Can't wait for the surprise liao. hungry, wanna eat dinner. anyway sop or qz will update them on my whereabouts. chit chat, even came upon the subject of birthday sabos. still looking out for anyone approaching the table.
After dinner, alw and sop say they are tired, and want to go back early. hmm. maybe they weren't in the plot after all. ok then, i want to watch survivor anyway.
on the mrt, sop wishes me... after a good 8 hrs of studying out together. hahah. i mention that some ppl hvn't yet, and sop jokingly suggests she sms them asking why. i tell her not to, they probably want to be the last to wish me, or maybe hv some surprise planned.
After survivor. still nothing. maybe they really want to make it last minute, to gimme a good scare. hahaha... hmm... previously on one of their birthdaes i drove, picked everyone up one-by-one and went to her place to give her a surprise... are they going to do that? well no one else drives... i hope they're not going to ask me to pick them all up are they??? or maybe they'll show up and hope that i drive them all home... i dunno leh. kinda tired...
wait a minute. do they know how to get here? not all of them come before...
midnite. 1am. nothing. hmmm.
An event...
which turns out to be a non-event...
is an event in itself after all.
Midnite: received happie birthdae smses from squid (1st one), someone possibly significant, someone insignificant, and my YEP nurse. nice of her to rem :-)
Morning: got more smses, with a esp meaningful one from someone unexpected. went for the paper.
Afternoon: a few more SMSes here and there. but totally none so far from a particular group - which nv fails to turn up somewhere with a cake (no matter how cheapo).
Aha! i put 2 and 2 together and deduce they must hv pretended to "forget" my bdae... and will show up to surprise me! i play it cool.
qz, alw and sop jio me to study at their table... hmm... they know that i study with them... could these 3 be in the plot too, and want to keep an eye on me? i take their offer.
i eye them suspiciously everytime they start sms-ing furiously. reporting my whereabouts to particular ppl? they leave the table now and then... sop keeps asking when we'll be eating dinner. *wink wink*
Evening: I look up anytime someone walks near our table, preparing to look unsurprised when the familiar faces pop up. i even plan to ask nonchalantly "when's ur next paper?" even though they grad liao. of coz to act cool on seeing them in sch when they dun hv a good reason to be here (but actually they do)
can't settle down to study. i wonder out loud whether i shd go home early in an attempt to set off alarm bells from sop and qz. they try to convince me to stay on to study. ok then. *wink*
Can't wait for the surprise liao. hungry, wanna eat dinner. anyway sop or qz will update them on my whereabouts. chit chat, even came upon the subject of birthday sabos. still looking out for anyone approaching the table.
After dinner, alw and sop say they are tired, and want to go back early. hmm. maybe they weren't in the plot after all. ok then, i want to watch survivor anyway.
on the mrt, sop wishes me... after a good 8 hrs of studying out together. hahah. i mention that some ppl hvn't yet, and sop jokingly suggests she sms them asking why. i tell her not to, they probably want to be the last to wish me, or maybe hv some surprise planned.
After survivor. still nothing. maybe they really want to make it last minute, to gimme a good scare. hahaha... hmm... previously on one of their birthdaes i drove, picked everyone up one-by-one and went to her place to give her a surprise... are they going to do that? well no one else drives... i hope they're not going to ask me to pick them all up are they??? or maybe they'll show up and hope that i drive them all home... i dunno leh. kinda tired...
wait a minute. do they know how to get here? not all of them come before...
midnite. 1am. nothing. hmmm.
An event...
which turns out to be a non-event...
is an event in itself after all.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Birthday
Currently Playing: Destiny by Zero7
It's my birthday! ho hum.
been not much and not much more to look fwd to... just finished 461 which i HOPE i'll pass... it's a 50-50 chance at the moment. dun wanna think abt it liao... coz next wk got another 2 more papers... so no time to celebrate also.
anyway... actual day nv really celebrate for dunno how many yrs liao.... except the times when the odackies wld take a break from studying exams to come over to where i wld be studying... with a cake and hugs. think got 3 times liao. thanx guys n gals....
hopefully next yr will be a better birthday... not stuck in sch at least. or work. hahahah
tired + brain dead.
but not giving up.
yet.
It's my birthday! ho hum.
been not much and not much more to look fwd to... just finished 461 which i HOPE i'll pass... it's a 50-50 chance at the moment. dun wanna think abt it liao... coz next wk got another 2 more papers... so no time to celebrate also.
anyway... actual day nv really celebrate for dunno how many yrs liao.... except the times when the odackies wld take a break from studying exams to come over to where i wld be studying... with a cake and hugs. think got 3 times liao. thanx guys n gals....
hopefully next yr will be a better birthday... not stuck in sch at least. or work. hahahah
tired + brain dead.
but not giving up.
yet.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
The End of The Beginning of The End
Currently Playing: Spinning by Zero7
Just had 1st of the last(hopefully) papers... QA. shd get quite a good grade considering i only learnt 1 of the essential chapters from a buddy 18hrs before the paper. hahahha if it was a engineering subject i wld hv just given up. no way i can grasp some engine shit in 18hrs... but anything else i can. ;-)
hopefully, the other papers go as well... or at least all pass... else cannot go nz. taking a rest til 3pm... then will go look ard for a seat w/o computer... maybe start picking a fight again... hahahha so fun.
feel more motivated to study also... maybe coz the end is finally in sight. can't wait to get out of this chinaman-infested nerd-filled engineer-crammed cesspit.
note to self: go study at 3pm!! SS & SS!!
Just had 1st of the last(hopefully) papers... QA. shd get quite a good grade considering i only learnt 1 of the essential chapters from a buddy 18hrs before the paper. hahahha if it was a engineering subject i wld hv just given up. no way i can grasp some engine shit in 18hrs... but anything else i can. ;-)
hopefully, the other papers go as well... or at least all pass... else cannot go nz. taking a rest til 3pm... then will go look ard for a seat w/o computer... maybe start picking a fight again... hahahha so fun.
feel more motivated to study also... maybe coz the end is finally in sight. can't wait to get out of this chinaman-infested nerd-filled engineer-crammed cesspit.
note to self: go study at 3pm!! SS & SS!!
