Roles & Age

Just came back from Gunung Angsi (825m) on Good Friday, 25th March. Took a midnite bus from Larkin on Thurs nite, reached Seremban 4+am. Took bus and started trekking at abt 9am, reached summit 1230pm, reached the exit at 3+pm. Took buses, had supper at JB and returned to SG after midnite.

I digress... from this trek, i realise more about myself. I had a long break from trekking, Jan '04 to Feb '05, and this was my 2nd trek after revival. Even more memorable than my 1st leech in 2 yrs, instead of being the sociable leader i can be, i laid back and kept to myself a bit.

i didn't need to be a leader, ZZ was there to lead; QZ, CS, etc to assist. the party was 17 - usually i'm the odd one out. all bus rides i sat alone, but i didn't mind. i like to hv time to myself to think and let my mind wander. but that wld usually set the mood for the entire trip. i subconsciously became laid back, aloof, less willing to talk and help, and generally kept to myself and listened to others (which is rare) basically being a participant thru and thru.

but that didn't really take effort... maybe that's my true self. i CAN be sociable, i CAN be the entertainer and i CAN take up leadership; i also CAN be the supporting role and assist, but when others can and willingly take up these positions, i step back and let them handle it unless they are THAT incompetent.

So it seems i am capable of different roles, it's just whether others can fill the roles needed or i put in the effort. of coz if i'm tasked and responsible for holding that role, i slip into it effortlessly. but given a choice, i look at people dynamics 1st. good or bad? i'm not sure, but being versatile nv hurt anyone ;-)

but also... the trek made me realise i've aged... i don't recover as fast, my fitness levels are not as high as before, i need more sleep, and i dun look like i'm in shape even though i've been exercising every week. 1/4 of a century old and i'm feeling the effects. kind of bummed... until now it was always on the up... the decline is dismaying. i'm too young to be getting old.

note to self: exercise more regularly, and enjoy the things i like to do before i'm too old to do so. i'm starting to already.