Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Happy Ending Dream

I had a happy ending dream again this morning.

I dunno where I was, seemed like a school, or some kind of sports complex.

I was escorting her to the toilet, with my arm around her back and hers around my waist. She was about half a head shorter than me, wearing a ponytail, with a DAMN SOLID figure. and we parted outside the female toilet door - i didn't really see her face, but i knew she was smiling. coz i was smiling too.

Those kind of "...and they lived happily ever after" kinda smiles.

I hate these dreams. I wake up all smiley and feeling loved and in love without knowing who the hell she is/was; i.e. for no reason at all.

And they are just that. Dreams.

Blardy Happy Ending Dreams.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Bus Encounter

3 guys board the bus and sit across the aisle from me. They start talking loudly about TVs so I hear every word of it. Not TV programmes. TVs. Sharp, Sony, Philips, Samsung.

Philips is quite good.

Sharp came up with the technology first, then Sony also used it.

Sharp still better, but not many people buy.

More buy Sony, the brand got history, like Nokia like that. Sharp no history.

I look at them. All 3 are wearing jeans, sport shoes, and neatly tucked-in polo t-shirts, with handphones sticking onto their belts just below the t-shirts, 5pm on a weekday.

Engineers.


I'd jump off a building if I'd ever become one of them.

And after finding out what a sucky engineer I am, the hiring manager would probably go to the roof and jump off too.

Of coz, I wouldn't tell him how high I'd be jumping off. Probably just high enough to break a leg and get 1 mth MC + all hospital fees paid by the company before quitting.

Many Thoughts Part 2

After a "super" of laughs, i drove some of them home. and got into a debate with one of them, which i always enjoy. but unfortunately she hates debating anything with me coz i always reject views that are contrary to mine, seemingly without wanting to understand. well... that may be true, but not always. i hope. but anyway, kinda disappointed coz she didn't like interacting with me although i like interacting with her. maybe that's why we hvn't argued for so long. hahah.

i mean, disappointing rite? eg. the person u like hanging out with doesn't like to hang out with u? but anyway, although i'm a bit affected... i don't think i'll change that much. maybe put in more effort to understand where the other person is coming from, but there won't be any radical changes. coz

a) no offense, but i only make effort to change if i realise i really do need it to be the person i wanna be.
b) if i'm such a pushover, then i'm not my own person.
c) and when i do change, it's either from my own realisation or coz of someone very, very impt to me.
d) wat's the fun in arguing when the ppl u argue with agree? hahah. arguing is fun in a way coz i get to cross intellectual swords and spar verbally. i like to do that with intelligent, thoughtful ppl. that's why during NS i always followed orders, nv argued.

but thinking of these things plus sleepiness made me run thru a red light. i'm not sure with the white streak i saw was a redlight camera. oh well... i can afford some demerits anyway... since it's already done, no point harping over it.


anyway, over these 2 days, i felt a lot of weight on my shoulders over the 4-5 issues. i had to complete them all in those 2 days, and didn't really have anyone to unburden anything to. not to discredit anyone but sometimes things just don't go the way they should if someone else reluctantly takes up the burden. in fact just recently i experienced an incident which drove home the point "if u want things done right, do it urself."

so am i such a close-minded, distrusting person who wants things his way? my defense is that i am no pushover, i am my own person, and there are some things i can do better, or choose to put in more effort, than others. and of coz there are some tasks i choose to take on so i know wat's going on, learnt from the disasterous trip to thailand in 2001.

that said, i do love my group of best frens - it felt almost like a family supper, coz we're all so close. 1 small table, 7 ppl, and 3 conversations across the table simultaneously. u gotta love that. and i appreciate those frens who have been around me, helped me with stuff, and those who i'm doing stuff for, in these 2 days. maybe that's why i choose to take up the burdens as well; so that they are not disappointed.


well i shall not be bothering about these issues much anymore... job application done, no more gatherings until after exams, just left with one more city booking. all that is left for me to do these 1 1/2 wks is to study and keep fit. and maybe ask someone out for coffee. ;-)

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Many Thoughts

Just have to blog.

Past 2 days been hectic, stressful until i got inconsiderate towards my family. i know i'm horrible, but right now i have to concentrate on me... i will make amends after exams. but i hope i will have enuff time to do so.

main issues occupying the last 2 days were
a) job application
b) europe hostel bookings
c) getting myself to go for a jog
d) 2 very impt social engagements
with studying always at the back of my mind. All these pressing issues on my shoulders. maybe they don't seem overwhelming, but they are when they all hv to be done within 2 days.

job application screwed up when i overlooked an essential form. slept only at 6am last night because of that. hostel bookings involved sourcing a hostel, comparing prices of the same hostel from different sites, comparing their best price with the best price of other hostels, convincing myself i was choosing the right place. repeat procedure for another 4 countries. but all done liao, except for one city.

the last time i had a jog was a mth ago. same for the previous time too. working really saps energy out - the remaining of / subsequent day is always spent resting. and i know i really cannot stay this way if i am to go on a 49 day trip. and end of year i wanna join stanchart again. initial plan was to add 1km to my runs every month. i think i added only 500m since jan. atrocious.

luckily, got trip-mate to schedule runs with me. twice every week from after my exams to before we fly off. that's settled too. oh yes, i did make myself jog earlier this evening after all, but at the cost of being inconsiderate to my family.

social engagements dun mean just turning up. not for one of them anyway. the 1st one was at least simple enough. 2nd one (a birthday) as usual, i had to galvanise everyone up for the event. with few favourable responses, i had to rush to buy a cake and make pick up arrangements. was wondering why it is usually me who rouses everyone, that if i didn't do anything, the birthday would just pass by. most of the time, i'm usually the one who pulls us all together, always makes arrangements for us to meet up. not easy most of the time, even for a group of only 9. got a bit frustrated, a bit disappointed.

but when all of us are together, all these thoughts just vanish. i mostly remember we were laughing a lot 3-4hrs ago, but about wat i have no idea. always so fun being with them, and feel so close to them. can almost see them as family liao. maybe that's why i keep arranging gatherings, coz i don't want to lose them.

sleepy. 5am liao. last nite only slept from 6am to 10am. maybe i blog more tml. i had more to write and a point to all this, but sleep is preventing me from deciphering what it is.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Lack of Entries

Been wanting to blog. Got ideas and thots to blog out. Especially with elections coming.

But somehow Life, in it's usual irritating fashion, manages to get in the way.

Just some quick updates:

now til 3rd May: studying for paper on 3rd May

4th - 25th May: will be working, planning and preparing for Rockie's Invasion of Europe. Plan of Attack: Hit-and-Ru(i)n

26th May to 14th Jul: Check out http://rockies-roamings.blogspot.com for updates


Those 3 sentences summarise my next 3 mths. Boring hor? hahahah... If you sian, go attend rally lor...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Funny

Funny how 8 digits can still make me forget that i hvn't had dinner, and put a silly smile on my face for 2 hours.

Out of all the possible thousand negative scenarios, i see the single positive one. That's funny too.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Happiness Is...

...finding out that the name on the Nestle Crunch you'd been eyeing in the fridge belongs to a guest who checked out 3 days ago for Australia.



As i bite into it and type this, there's some kind of guilty pleasure in it. kinda like i know it's wrong, but somehow that's why it tastes better. forbidden chocolate probably always does.



Mmmmm...... -D

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Blading 2

My previous entry was warning enough.

Went blading with misa again on sunday, with disastrous results. Well ok, it would have been disastrous if I actually DID blade. But I was supposed to work the next day, so I didn't think being warded would be a fantastic idea.

It started well enough... meeting 1 of 2 of misa's frens who were blading as well, but we went to a different blade rental from last week, the one nearest to fort road. Their blades... well.. weren't suitable for me, to put it diplomatically. 1st pair were too big, my fault, so i had them changed. 2nd pair squeaked in agony when i stood up, and my legs just couldn't straighten, and i had such a hard time just reaching the track, i was a perfect match with my squeaking blades.

I had enough. i ripped them off and asked for a refund, of coz which, none was given. the uncle said an exchange for bike rental could be given instead, but i told him it was ok, coz i wasn't going back.

So i went to the blade rental i was at last week, but the earlier experience was traumatising enuff. i couldn't even stand properly, let alone move forward. and I already saw money fly off, really spoilt the eagerness. and there were just too many people zooming around. Even though I was looking fwd to blading, I just didn't feel good enuff to blade anymore.

then misa's other friend came, and tried to solve the problem of me not blading and hindering misa and fren no.1 from blading by lending me her blades. by this time almost an hour had passed and they hadn't really bladed yet, which was the scenario i hate most; me being the deadweight. so i wanted to stop and go home, and just let 3 of them have fun. but fren no.2 insisted she was tired, so... ok, i'll give it another shot.

fren no.2 also suggested blading on the pedestrian walkway since i not zai... but i thot that why its for pedestrians, isn't it? to keep hazards like me away from innocent bystanders.

so i put the blades and safety gear on. then fren no.2 casually mentioned that beginners might find her blades tricky coz the wheels are so smooth, literally no friction, she remarked proudly. Well thank you so much there, fren no.2. I'm sure you will appear pretty often when my life flashes before my eyes.

so i gingerly stood up with the help of a railing, and stumbled to the track, almost falling once every metre. joined the lane, immediately came wheel-to-hump, and stopped dead in my tracks. i couldn't get enuff FRICTION to push myself up and over. then wat could've happened miraculously didn't.

a swarm of bladers behind started to stream around me. those on the right cut into the oncoming lane, where 2-3 bicycles and 3-4 bladers reached me just about the same time. they swerved and siam-ed, and wonder of wonders, no one fell and broke an elbow. I nearly caused an accident. confirm, chop + guarantee road hazard. I was a lady driver on blades.

so i decided enough was enuff. i was slowing my fren and her fren down, and likely to be sent to hospital, and maybe send someone with me. so i ripped off the blades again and gave fren no.2's blades to fren no.1.

so i decided to be nice to fren no.2, who had been so nice by lending me her blades, and go accompany her by the beach somewhere. maybe make some polite conversation, which i did with fren no.1. but no, there was no chance. fren no.2 apparently wanted to be by herself, so although she graciously relented to my request to join her, that was the only semblence of conversation we had. she amused herself with her hp, i with mine. i noticed that she turned slightly away from me, and appeared to be in deep thought.

well maybe she was waiting for me to say something, but seriously, me? everyone knows i suck at meeting strange new ppl. can never think of anything intelligent to say. so probably after 5-10 mins (hey it felt longer kae!) of the suspense, seeing that i made for such mind-blowing company, i took my leave on grounds that i wanted to look for my parents. the vibes i was getting from fren no.2 weren't exactly welcoming anyway, with her parting shot "you're not coming back right?" being so sweet. but i guess i can't blame her. i also wouldn't talk to anyone who crushed my blades with their weight-of-too-many-suppers and refused to listen to my repeated advice on blading on pedestrian walkways.

Dad & Mum WERE somewhere around, and we had met earlier, thankfully NOT when i was blading. after getting to them, 3 of us getting amused by loud scoldings by an indian lady to her young son, misa called and summoned my return to join them for dinner. thankfully she hadn't realised that dinner would be more fun without me.

After dinner we parted, and i went to look for mum and dad at marine parade, and we went shopping for groceries. Kinda boring, but somehow rather fun. Rephrase: it wasn't exciting, but it was comfortable.

So fortunately, for her that is, misa won't be free on subsequent saturdays and i have refused to blade on crowded sundays. i guess ally will have to suffer my company from now on. wish him luck, everyone.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Blading

If you were among the lucky 61% of the 35,834 ppl at ECP today who happened to see a guy in sweat-soaked brown t-shirt and grey berms, with legs trying helplessly to keep upright on blades, and arms flailing about like he was being attacked by a horde of bees, terrorising other bladers and cyclists, then congratulations; you have bear witness to Embarassing Moments of My Life #267: Blading for the 2nd Time. If u thot I did well going forward, all i was actually doing was stumbling one foot in front of the other to keep my face away from the road.

Well at least comparing the distance covered, i had proportionally less falls than the 1st time i attempt blading 3 yrs ago... which caught me on my back at least 7 times... and i was so traumatised i didn't turn up for the 2nd day of the course. hahah...

i fell badly only 3 times:
1) going down a hump
2) getting viciously rammed by misa
3) going over hardened, smooth, dry mud which i thot was still squishy

other times i held the road away with my hands and crawled hands and knees to
a) the nearest grass patch or
b) until i could get myself upright again

at least the blading started pleasantly enuff: i dunno how misa convinced me to put on the blades and start trying, but once i did, it was fun!! barring the embarassing jerky limb movements. only thing is, the only place that got tanned was probably the back of my neck, since i spent most of the time using eye power to keep the road stable...

and on the way back... had a pleasant yet embarassing surprise. intrigued by my laughable attempts at making way, zo caught up from behind and turned around.. and confirmed her terrible suspicions: the blading buffoon was me!! heng i kena unwanted hp call... so can act busy so that she didn't manage to ask any difficult questions. hahahah

but trouble started on the way back as well... calves, thighs, and lower back started aching like crazy... not used to (my) blading posture i guess... then slowed down misa's getting back... think the distance she went back and forth while waiting for me was probably made up half her total... hahahah really paiseh abt making her and her relatives wait... and didn't feel comfortable being the odd one out. and also most imptly, i had to be at work again in 2hrs.

so stinky and tired, and finally free of those treacherous blades, i stumbled/dragged myself back home with a big gulp to keep me company. usually to me $1.70 for water wld be extravagant, in this instance it was absolutely necessary.

but overall, it was really fun, and i've been meaning to learn blading anyway. so i'll be looking fwd til the next time, if misa ever dares to blade w me again. ;)

and if any of u readers want a free clown act, jio me for blading.

PS: funniest part of the day - not by me, but misa's sleepy mumblings on the phone... *impossible to put it down in alphabet* hahahah watever little image there was, gone liao lah!!