It's The Little Things

When something so big and overwhelming invades ur life, the little things suddenly become so impt, while everything else just fades into the background.

Little Things like:
- Coffee, 1 cup every 6 hrs.
- Blasting rock music / Class95.
- Playing my new Zero7 CD at nite so I can relax enuff to fall asleep fast.
- Being able to get 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep.
- Sweets. At least 3 types: mints, chewy ones & hard ones.
- Newspaper to get my mind off studies.
- SMSes that remind me I'm not alone.
- Amazing Race, Lost, Taken & Survivor. Apprentice just ended 2 wks ago.

As such, it doesn't take much to piss me off too. OK it nv takes much anyway... but nowsaday my short fuse is even shorter than usual.

And now i realise why ppl smoke... if this dragged on longer i'd probably hv taken it up too... hahahha

Coz when they go outside and light up... they are taken away from their books and notes and such crap to a far more relaxing place... away from everyone else and they can leave all those equations and formulas and graphs and x, y, z's behind, and just be able to concentrate on one thing: sucking in that smoky bliss deep all the way into their depths, let it clear out their insides (literally) and expend it all out slowly, deliberately. repeat until flame dies out. bliss. escape from all the stress and all the quotas and the tutorials and memorising and everything else that is senseless. drugs and alcohol probably provide such a great escape from the insanity of the world too.

Well... i get that kind of escape too, but one which is, i hope, less damaging in the form of coffee. bliss. blissblissbliss. i go sit by myself at one quiet corner on a faraway stair and gently blow the smooth scalding beverage and let it slowly seep and burn all the way down my gullet. all i need to concentrate on is following the burning seepage all the way down and escape from all the madness. Of coz, i still stick to the healthy limit of 3 cups a day. (hey, a large cup is still a cup k?)

they say one of the true measures of a man is wat he does when times are rough. so this is me? selfish, mercenary, quick-tempered, hard-to-please, easily-frustrated, almost succumbing to the things i hate so much?

at nite i waste electricity by having the aircon on, just so that i dun get disturbed by ppl going to toilet.

i dream of sch work / library / mrt (pick one) every nite.

i tok to frens only when i need to. (i.e. abt exams)

i get mildly irritated when ppl take more of my sweets than i expect (i.e. more than one at a time)

i hvn't cut my hair in mths.

i get pissed when i dunno how to do tutorial qns and ppl see it.

i don't go home for dinner.

i can't be bothered with many frens anymore.

hopefully, i'll get over this phase and be a better person once again. and hopefully, the next time i get overwhelmed again, at least it'll be something i enjoy doing.

at least it'll nv be as bad as this again... can always tell myself "i've been thru worse" from now on... just like titiwangsa. hahah.

time for coffee. before piahing again. sigh.