Suggested Penalties for Public Enemy No.1 - Durai

I am in a rather foul predictament, but I have to speak up on this.

For one, I really really hope that Durai, that evil bitch, gets convicted for criminal offences and gets thrown into jail and butt farked by unclean toilet brushes wielded by disgruntled hardcore criminals who were moved by the countless NKF charity shows to make a $10, $20, or $50 donation to a 1900-number, of which plenty went to high flying trips around the world. I hope they make him fly so high he sees stars.

Barring which, here's a suggestion on how he can pay a fine instead. Based on a few assumptions:
a) Every donor asking for refunds from "the new" NKF will only hurt patients and their measly million-dollar reserves.
b) We do not know for sure exactly how much he got direct from donations and how much he got from possible kickbacks from other director's entreprises.
so we use calculation.

Since durai likes to calculate back payments so much, let's calculate the amount he got since 1992 when he became CEO:

in the ST case, it was revealed that in the last 3 yrs he got a take home pay of $1.8million.
which leads to $600,000/- a year.
CPF contribution is about 33%, so it's 798,000/- a year.
have a back payment since 1992, that's 13 years, he needs to pay back to the public $10,374,000/-

This does not include his benefits of insurance, car(s), air tickets, cashcard top ups, credit card bills, "unused" leave, "OT" pay, etc. from ST yesterday:

"OT" Pay: $187,000 from Sept 97 to Oct 03
"unused" Leave which he extended himself: $423,000 from May 95 to Nov 03
Credit Card Bills paid for by NKF: $290,447
Car payments, including insurance, tax, repairs, wife's cashcard: $6885.86 for THIS YEAR ALONE not including his own cashcard
(NB: his wife cashcard topup is $423.61. imagine his shd be about same amount. I don't even use that much a year on my debit card!)
Bonuses: not known exactly yet, betw 4 to 12mths. average of 8mths then.
Air tickets and insurance amounted not stated in ST.

So, we extrapolate some of these figures. Stated "OT" Pay claimed is about half is tenure. So he possibly got $374,000 in total.
Car payments extrapolated for 12.5yrs, based on the figure above only being for 1/2 a year: $172,146.50

So amount, which is still less than total, stands at $10,374,000 + $374,000 + $172,146.50 + $423,000 + $290,447 = $11,633,593.50

of coz, still got interest rate. i don't have exact figures, so let's estimate it to be 12%, including possible investments he made with that money, which comes up to $13,029,624.72/- which he owes donors. still not including other numbers yet to be released by newspapers. This penalty should be extended to the whole board of evil directors he was in cahoots with as well.

So this is how much singaporeans have been blindly giving him. An estimated $1million a year straight into his pocket and perks. So what he would need to do is hire KPMG, since his old frens at PwC seem so incompetent, so dig the records and find out which singaporeans donated how much in proportion to the total population and give back accordingly based on the $13million figure. Then all would be forgiven and he would be allowed to take back his passport and run back to his hometown in india (hopefully) penniless and never be heard of again.

Of coz some might think, with all that trouble and all that money, it wld be easier to go to jail. but durai should note that only a select few has the option of exchanging money for jail time. Just ask melvyn "boo hoo hoo i'm cancelling my few-hundred-dollar-per-ticket shows and running home to jolly old england" tan.

in fact, the courts would probably cite that case as an example, since both of them share many similarities: durai is also now a famous household name, and is a great musician! just ask all those employees, donors and gahmen ppl who've been listening to his music like the children in the "Pied Piper of Hamelin"

Added: We cannot thank them enough. They cannot compensate us enough.

Note to self: I'm not giving to charities anymore! Unless I'm the CEO of one... hahahhha

Further note to self: Dream job - CEO and all-encompassing despot of HUGE charitable organisation with standing policies of non-disclosure and being in good books of reporters.