Currently Playing: Nothing by In The School Library
OK... just HAD to sneak in 1 more entry. my word... this thing is addictive.
been 1 hectic past week... had camp at ubin, spent 2 days packing and moving out most of my stuff, met up with some impt frens and removed my little monsters from hall over the wkend, getting little sleep in the process... average is probably 5 hrs a day. wish i could spend time with other impt frens though... last nite with ally, kok and cyclist at BT prata was great... had so many laughs i dun even know wat we were talking abt.
returned the keys to hall just now... had a long lingering look at my sanctuary of 2 years... now that it hits me, kinda will miss the place. i looked at the empty room and pictured the various furniture in their usual places... some emotional attachment to the place after all. oh well... time to move on. but the bad thing abt packing up and leaving is that it makes me feel i've graduated already! hahahahah
oh abt packing up and moving out last nite... i met old-man-angry-with-his-job security guard again... in fact walked past him a few times. 1st time didn't look at him. 2nd time he pretended not to see me. 3rd time our eyes met and we stared for a glancing while. 4th time i was returning from the car after depositing little monsters and he gives me a "eh boy, where u going?" in an ah-beng fashion. imagine a old 60-70 yr old security guard acting like that! so amusing. but i didn't bother abt him and returned an equally bengish "go where? go home lah" while not slacking on walking speed. passing him and his security guard fren (superior?) the other guy remarks "finish already... pass out already..." and i walked away responding with "yah yah pass out already" didn't want to waste time talking to them. 5th time passing them they were talking, i didn't bother to stop although i did make one last disdainful eye contact at the old-man security guard.
was thinking of telling him off or complaining/commenting to hall office abt his poor attitude towards students (he's supposed to protect the premises, not act as a CSM)... but wat the heck, i'll never see him again and it's a waste of time. besides, he's not that significant... just provided me with an amusing episode... so heck it.
most impt pt in this post... i'm leaving day after tml!! finally the excitement sets in just thinking abt it!! or is it caused by my full bladder? no matter!! yesterday chal asked me if i was excited... i gave a nonchalant shrug. but todae i wake up and realise it's day after tml... so near liao!! woohoo!!! day after tml i'll be in china and thailand for a mth!! YEAH BABY!!!
still got so many things to settle before i leave... things to buy, bags to pack, ppl to spend time with, my own grooming (i BADLY, BADLY need a hair cut) extremely excited & rather stressed.
note to self: STAY CALM!! and post something when there's a chance.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Youth Expedition Project
Currently Playing: Untitled by Keane
so is it a expedition or a project? sounds kinda funny doesn't it?
anyway, rite now major issues in my head are moving out of hall and the upcoming YEP trip to Yunnan. I shall be permenantly moving out of hall tml, so this blog will be stopping for a while. i will be overseas in China from 1st june to 1st july, so this blog will be stopped for a long while. but since i won't be plugging in my comp again til after i come back from the trip and will be tired after that, most prob there will be a delay and this blog will be stopped for a longer while. so sorry dear readers, but if i get internet access in the meantime i shall post something.
sitting w/ my 1/2 packed boxes and 1/2 empty room... my predominant thot is....: I WANNA GET OUTTA HERE!!! the dust is clogging my nose, irritating my eyes and driving me crazy. shall be moving everything else tml.
another 6 days i'll be going on the longest overseas trip of my life as yet... another exciting adventure. dun really know wat to expect, but i'm keeping an open mind abt it... i wanna go there to experience the life and culture, and hopefully do some trekking, take some great photos while i'm there. the interaction and helping ppl is secondary. kind of selfish, sorta going for the wrong reasons... but i got chosen for this coz i can contribute effectively to the project... and i will. although my motivations are not the best, my efforts will always be.
so fast... dunno if i'm mentally really prepared for it... hvn't even looked at the equipment list to see if i got everything... just joining ppl in buying stuff i know i dun hv. a little apprehensive abt wat i leave behind for a mth as well.
most missed will be parents, brother, and my dear, dear frens. but i dunno if i can spend enuff time with them... i'm sometimes too busy for my family, and frens sometimes too busy for me. frens i can a bit bo chup if dun get to spend time, but family cannot. even more so when i know how fortunate i am now (see previous entry).
would like to thank the following ppl:
- parents and brother for not objecting, being supportive of me running away for 1 mth.
- cream for taking care of my little monsters for that mth.
- zz, chel, qz for studying for exams with me and making studying less boring.
- my grp of 8 frens(adsports2), for loving me so much as a fren.
- tan kuku, chalsee, and ally, for supporting this blog. will be back in july!!
Time for another Great Adventure!!!
so is it a expedition or a project? sounds kinda funny doesn't it?
anyway, rite now major issues in my head are moving out of hall and the upcoming YEP trip to Yunnan. I shall be permenantly moving out of hall tml, so this blog will be stopping for a while. i will be overseas in China from 1st june to 1st july, so this blog will be stopped for a long while. but since i won't be plugging in my comp again til after i come back from the trip and will be tired after that, most prob there will be a delay and this blog will be stopped for a longer while. so sorry dear readers, but if i get internet access in the meantime i shall post something.
sitting w/ my 1/2 packed boxes and 1/2 empty room... my predominant thot is....: I WANNA GET OUTTA HERE!!! the dust is clogging my nose, irritating my eyes and driving me crazy. shall be moving everything else tml.
another 6 days i'll be going on the longest overseas trip of my life as yet... another exciting adventure. dun really know wat to expect, but i'm keeping an open mind abt it... i wanna go there to experience the life and culture, and hopefully do some trekking, take some great photos while i'm there. the interaction and helping ppl is secondary. kind of selfish, sorta going for the wrong reasons... but i got chosen for this coz i can contribute effectively to the project... and i will. although my motivations are not the best, my efforts will always be.
so fast... dunno if i'm mentally really prepared for it... hvn't even looked at the equipment list to see if i got everything... just joining ppl in buying stuff i know i dun hv. a little apprehensive abt wat i leave behind for a mth as well.
most missed will be parents, brother, and my dear, dear frens. but i dunno if i can spend enuff time with them... i'm sometimes too busy for my family, and frens sometimes too busy for me. frens i can a bit bo chup if dun get to spend time, but family cannot. even more so when i know how fortunate i am now (see previous entry).
would like to thank the following ppl:
- parents and brother for not objecting, being supportive of me running away for 1 mth.
- cream for taking care of my little monsters for that mth.
- zz, chel, qz for studying for exams with me and making studying less boring.
- my grp of 8 frens(adsports2), for loving me so much as a fren.
- tan kuku, chalsee, and ally, for supporting this blog. will be back in july!!
Time for another Great Adventure!!!
YEP Pre Expedition Camp
Currently Playing: Everybody's Changing by Keane
On Monday-Wednesday, I went for the YEP pre exp camp which i volunteered to help organise,. even though my position is "medic" in the project.
Mon morning we met at chinatown to do a kind of amazing race game for 3 hrs. had lunch, then went to tampines to buy food, after which travelled to pulau ubin by land and sea. From the jetty, we hiked to a kampung where we spent the nite. Next day we went to the highest pt in ubin, had lunch at town and took minibuses to noordin beach. after a wet nite there we packed up and went back mainland to hv a debrief and lunch at changi village.
This little camping trip has been very significant... as a project team we really bonded roughing it out and sharing each other's life stories as part of the itinerary. we were supposed to share the significant moments in our lives with others and we all learnt everyone's past. i learnt that many had problematic childhood/families and realised i am very fortunate. i am VERY FORTUNATE. also, it gave us an opportunity to know y so-and-so sorta behaves liddat, etc. I myself rambled on abt myself quite a bit. darn... lost the piece of mahjong paper which i drew and scribbled on for thots.
other things significant to me are that the guys have realised i can cook, i am quite competent and do take my post as medic seriously, and i can be authoritative when leading. i cooked my signature kung pao chicken for the 1st dinner, french toast for 2nd breakfast, pasta n omelettes for 2nd dinner. got quite busy with ppl getting bee stings, muscle strains, stomachaches and emergency simulations. when setting up camp in the rain i kinda raised my voice a bit... but they probably also realise that i'm not too organised as well. well at least i'm making an impact... helping in this is enjoyable and beneficial.
but most imptly, we have really bonded as a team, as frens. now i hv a "brother", a buddy, a dance partner, a fellow medic, and so many other frens. so far i dun think i've pissed anyone off yet.
note to self: treat these nice ppl well!! and always remember how fortunate i am.
On Monday-Wednesday, I went for the YEP pre exp camp which i volunteered to help organise,. even though my position is "medic" in the project.
Mon morning we met at chinatown to do a kind of amazing race game for 3 hrs. had lunch, then went to tampines to buy food, after which travelled to pulau ubin by land and sea. From the jetty, we hiked to a kampung where we spent the nite. Next day we went to the highest pt in ubin, had lunch at town and took minibuses to noordin beach. after a wet nite there we packed up and went back mainland to hv a debrief and lunch at changi village.
This little camping trip has been very significant... as a project team we really bonded roughing it out and sharing each other's life stories as part of the itinerary. we were supposed to share the significant moments in our lives with others and we all learnt everyone's past. i learnt that many had problematic childhood/families and realised i am very fortunate. i am VERY FORTUNATE. also, it gave us an opportunity to know y so-and-so sorta behaves liddat, etc. I myself rambled on abt myself quite a bit. darn... lost the piece of mahjong paper which i drew and scribbled on for thots.
other things significant to me are that the guys have realised i can cook, i am quite competent and do take my post as medic seriously, and i can be authoritative when leading. i cooked my signature kung pao chicken for the 1st dinner, french toast for 2nd breakfast, pasta n omelettes for 2nd dinner. got quite busy with ppl getting bee stings, muscle strains, stomachaches and emergency simulations. when setting up camp in the rain i kinda raised my voice a bit... but they probably also realise that i'm not too organised as well. well at least i'm making an impact... helping in this is enjoyable and beneficial.
but most imptly, we have really bonded as a team, as frens. now i hv a "brother", a buddy, a dance partner, a fellow medic, and so many other frens. so far i dun think i've pissed anyone off yet.
note to self: treat these nice ppl well!! and always remember how fortunate i am.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Not Another Call-In-&-Win Charity Show again! (as earlier promised)
Currently Playing: Unwell by Matchbox20
Newspapers report we are suffering from charity fatigue.
Not surprising when newspapers hv also reported that the number of charities just keeps growing year after year. same goes for tv charity shows and number of flag days, looks like.
chialat... at home tsc artistes bug me to dial a 1900-number while doing irrelevant stunts. out in the pavements, waiting outside just-stopped buses in interchanges, outside mrt stations, shopping malls and cineplexes... sch kids eager to get their CIP pts which will eventually give them an edge when they apply for university and get a job, thrust their rattling cans at me with a tired "would u like to donate?" NO.
To me, it's akin to begging. "selling flags?" no way that little sticker anything more than 2 cents. swindlers! touts! who wants those little stickers anyway, besides little stickerbook hobby kids? i dun want any. and more than something u want to "buy", now it's become more of a rubber stamp that says "PAID" or "Screened". something u show those pesky kids so they stop bugging u. but u still hv to show it to every kids who comes to u in eager strides.
solution? "buy" a flag from every charity once, and stick in on ur ez-link card holder. enjoying urself silly by flashing ur card like the US cop every saturday. Or, my way. "NO. NO Thanx. NOT interested. get out of my way, my train's coming. will you STOP blocking me??? *short pause* stop whimpering, dammit, and it'll stop bleeding soon enuff. ARGH MY TRAIN!!!!"
now u know y i'm late if i'm supposed to meet u.
"wasn't it last mth i saw TV ppl doing crazy stunts for money? they're doing it AGAIN?" i've lost track of wat charity of wat show since 2 yrs ago. i can't even tell the shows apart anymore, and stopped donating long ago. why?
1) these are the big charities. if they can get national TV to pursue their cause, i dun think they need much help anymore.
2) with such publicity, there'll be no lack of ppl donating. so even if i sit out there's not much difference.
3) donating money to win a car is a winning, albeit contradicting, marketing strategy for charities.
4) the shows are all alike. celebrities doing stunts and making phone dialing actions while comperes gibbering away abt how dangerous the stunt is. after the stunt is performed, concerned, panting celebrity stammers its was dangerous and he/she was scared, but altruism pull him/her thru. and of coz, more phone dialing actions. Token wimpy singing/dancing/magic items performed.
5) advertisements cajole ppl to dial to donate and WIN! without telling ppl just how much they would be "donating" for that chance to win a car. or amount donated in fine print.
6) how much of the donations wld go to gold toilet taps for the respective head honchos? will we ever know?
all this while the poorer charities hv no means to garner for funds coz they didn't hv any to begin with. and no one knows they exist, everyone's mistaken them for another of the hundreds of charities popping up every yr. is someone breeding them like rabbits?
so that's it. i keeping my money, thank you very much.
Newspapers report we are suffering from charity fatigue.
Not surprising when newspapers hv also reported that the number of charities just keeps growing year after year. same goes for tv charity shows and number of flag days, looks like.
chialat... at home tsc artistes bug me to dial a 1900-number while doing irrelevant stunts. out in the pavements, waiting outside just-stopped buses in interchanges, outside mrt stations, shopping malls and cineplexes... sch kids eager to get their CIP pts which will eventually give them an edge when they apply for university and get a job, thrust their rattling cans at me with a tired "would u like to donate?" NO.
To me, it's akin to begging. "selling flags?" no way that little sticker anything more than 2 cents. swindlers! touts! who wants those little stickers anyway, besides little stickerbook hobby kids? i dun want any. and more than something u want to "buy", now it's become more of a rubber stamp that says "PAID" or "Screened". something u show those pesky kids so they stop bugging u. but u still hv to show it to every kids who comes to u in eager strides.
solution? "buy" a flag from every charity once, and stick in on ur ez-link card holder. enjoying urself silly by flashing ur card like the US cop every saturday. Or, my way. "NO. NO Thanx. NOT interested. get out of my way, my train's coming. will you STOP blocking me??? *short pause* stop whimpering, dammit, and it'll stop bleeding soon enuff. ARGH MY TRAIN!!!!"
now u know y i'm late if i'm supposed to meet u.
"wasn't it last mth i saw TV ppl doing crazy stunts for money? they're doing it AGAIN?" i've lost track of wat charity of wat show since 2 yrs ago. i can't even tell the shows apart anymore, and stopped donating long ago. why?
1) these are the big charities. if they can get national TV to pursue their cause, i dun think they need much help anymore.
2) with such publicity, there'll be no lack of ppl donating. so even if i sit out there's not much difference.
3) donating money to win a car is a winning, albeit contradicting, marketing strategy for charities.
4) the shows are all alike. celebrities doing stunts and making phone dialing actions while comperes gibbering away abt how dangerous the stunt is. after the stunt is performed, concerned, panting celebrity stammers its was dangerous and he/she was scared, but altruism pull him/her thru. and of coz, more phone dialing actions. Token wimpy singing/dancing/magic items performed.
5) advertisements cajole ppl to dial to donate and WIN! without telling ppl just how much they would be "donating" for that chance to win a car. or amount donated in fine print.
6) how much of the donations wld go to gold toilet taps for the respective head honchos? will we ever know?
all this while the poorer charities hv no means to garner for funds coz they didn't hv any to begin with. and no one knows they exist, everyone's mistaken them for another of the hundreds of charities popping up every yr. is someone breeding them like rabbits?
so that's it. i keeping my money, thank you very much.
Authority Figures
Currently Playing: This is the Last Time by Keane
I was confronted by the security guard and ordered to return to my room abt 1-2 hrs ago. but first, some background.
Staying in the same place for 4 yrs, i've seen these jagas come and go... I appreciated their presence, coz in the 1st 2 yrs here there were chinaman orgies and masked perverted running around the hall. grew chummy with 2 of them, the guy in yr 2 and yr 3. Recently there was some reshuffling and the usual jovial malay dude got replaced with a sullen malay uncle.
Out of habit, coming back late at nite i'd pass the guard table and try to make eye contact, smile and say hi. but soon i gave up trying coz this sullen guy either never made eye contact or didn't bother to respond. never saw him talking to residents, and in the end i just didn't bother to look at him altogether.
So back to the very recent past, i was watching band of brothers (1am on channel 5, tuesdays) when at abt 1.45am sullen uncle walks past without stopping and mumbles something at me, showing a 'V' sign with his fingers. it took me a while to figure out he was telling me to switch off the tv at 2am.
This might have been a very reasonable request, if not for 3 issues:
1) BoB was only going to end at 2.15am.
2) I had the volume low enough not to disturb anyone, just enough for me to hear.
3) It being the holidays, i doubt there was anyone in hall for me to disturb on a tuesday nite anyway. besides, if u're staying in hall on a tuesday nite in the holidays, chances are u're not going to sleep til 3am.
So i continued watching.
Punctually, sullen uncle shows up at 2am and tells me i have to leave coz everything was supposed to be swtiched off at 2am. He adds that I shd hv been in my room from midnite coz all activities are to be stopped at 11.30pm, as written in the "standing orders". Of coz not in such proper english.
Really? Half amused, I remarked that this was a hall and not a military camp. He told me if i didn't believe it, i could go look at the notice board, where the "standing orders" were. As BoB was starting, i decided to sit down and enjoy the show. he asked me if i was yr 1. to shut him up i said yes, following which he told me to ask the yr 2s and 3s abt the standing orders, which apparently was something they knew very well. "you don't believe me ah, boy?" was something he repeated at least 3 times. u're rite, i don't. even if it was true, i don't care coz i know i'm not disturbing anyone.
Anyway, itried to appease him by telling him nicely my show will end at 2.15am, after which i would switch off everything. he told me something to the effect of i'd better do it, coz he could just switch off everything as he liked. that i hv no doubt, but most prob i wld just switch everything back on again. he ended his show of bravado by telling me the hall counsellor was a woman (dunno which he's talking abt, the head hall counsellor is a man btw) and would come and check. if she found the lights still on at 2am, she would give sullen uncle trouble. as he turned round, he added if he got into trouble, he would make sure i got into trouble.
Was that supposed to be a threat? now really amused, i smiled. he saw me smiling and got more dissatisfied. he came back to me asking me for my student card. i said i didn't hv it so he asked me for my room number. i gave him a bogus one and watched the rest of the show in peace. after the show, i went up not looking his way and closed my door, which has remained since.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of a sullen uncle dissatisfied with his mundane job and misguided by the fact he has some form of power, i'm just the sort of guy who avoids unnecessary confrontation. for his sake as well.
His position is already compromised coz he didn't enforce his "authority", "gave chance" in a grudging manner and threw up an empty threat. classic hallmarks of someone who trying to act that he has authority. i know; i've been there before.
Don't forget, this is hall... the security guards role is just that. to provide security for residents, and since they're there, switch off the lights. no authority over resident unless someone complains/pao tos. but if he did switch off my TV, i'd complain to the hall office. oh no, not abt the TV incident, but just casually remark this security guard doesn't seem too frenly... and i've never seen him walking on my corridor on patrol once. (this is true)
So if he does find me and realise i gave him a bogus room number and wants my student card? hahaha like i'll give it to him. it's my property, wat if he doesn't give it back? unnecessary inconvenience. nice try, but no. my name is written quite clearly on the door, he could use that. if he steps into my room to grab my card? that's trespassing. these security guards aren't allowed in our rooms unless campus security or hall office is with them. if he grabs me to get my card or my attention? that's criminal force isn't it? oh man. i am so evil. since young i've never liked authority unless i AM the authority. esp despise those who think they have some and bully others.
Brings to mind another incident in malaysia, the recent angsi trip. before the shopping ctr next to the bus interchange opened, we went and asked the old malay security guard if we could go in and wait for the breakfast stalls to open. he gave the green light and we all went in, heading for the toilets and sinks by the tables to wash up. some of us sat and chatted, while an indian security guard positioned by the toilets and lifts eyed us from time to time. i was the last to use the sinks by the tables, when he decided to show some authority.
He loudly asked me wat we were doing here. i explained nicely the guy up in front let us in. he then had an outburst shouting the guy was old and didn't know anything; that we were not allowed inside here; and we should not be doing any disgusting stuff at the sinks near the tables. well since he found brushing of teeth and washing of face disgusting, no way i was going near him. i turned and continued cleaning up in nonchalance, and this guy skulked back to by the toilets repeating that we were not allowed in there. of coz, we ignored him and he did nothing. did not enforce "authority", and "gave chance" in a grudging manner. he didn't bother us after that as well.
i guess they wanted to show some authority after being blatantly ignored... but the show of bravado just made it worse. even if the ignoring part wasn't on purpose before, now it was.
no i'm not finished... this brings to mind something else. not necessarily related.
It seems that we bloggers have a new bane... some chairman of some govt body has decided to take it upon himself to rid s'pore of irresponsible blogging. he has publicly announced something to the effect of using weapons of mass destruction on anyone who belittled his govt body or himself. that's y i'm being careful here... i do not want to fall victim to his signature finishing move, which incidently is the same of another guy with the same famous surname... but that guy i respect a lot. this guy? i dunno.
for some reason his name keeps popping up in cases when a govt body does something bad to some rich studying guy who has run away and/or made some noise. this guy has also publicly announced he thinks better of young foreigners and young local girls over young local guys. (to work in the orgn he heads lah, wat u thinking)
sure his orgn does good work for the country... but it gets kind of old to see his name popping up in controversial news reports. he makes himself the face of the orgn, like a civil service Trump. wat will happen when he leaves? but more imptly, why? is he chasing controversy to shine more light on his orgn? or on himself? or is he just enjoying hunting down rich studying guys? i dunno... u decide for urself. one thing's for sure, i dun wanna work in his orgn. scary.
i'm not trying to influence anyone, but come on, it's just a blog... some guy's ramblings. ppl with intelligence would see blogs as just an opinion, not necessarily an educated one. so take stuff with a pinch of salt, and lighten up.
note to self: no names! and continue laughing at jagas with high self-importance.
I was confronted by the security guard and ordered to return to my room abt 1-2 hrs ago. but first, some background.
Staying in the same place for 4 yrs, i've seen these jagas come and go... I appreciated their presence, coz in the 1st 2 yrs here there were chinaman orgies and masked perverted running around the hall. grew chummy with 2 of them, the guy in yr 2 and yr 3. Recently there was some reshuffling and the usual jovial malay dude got replaced with a sullen malay uncle.
Out of habit, coming back late at nite i'd pass the guard table and try to make eye contact, smile and say hi. but soon i gave up trying coz this sullen guy either never made eye contact or didn't bother to respond. never saw him talking to residents, and in the end i just didn't bother to look at him altogether.
So back to the very recent past, i was watching band of brothers (1am on channel 5, tuesdays) when at abt 1.45am sullen uncle walks past without stopping and mumbles something at me, showing a 'V' sign with his fingers. it took me a while to figure out he was telling me to switch off the tv at 2am.
This might have been a very reasonable request, if not for 3 issues:
1) BoB was only going to end at 2.15am.
2) I had the volume low enough not to disturb anyone, just enough for me to hear.
3) It being the holidays, i doubt there was anyone in hall for me to disturb on a tuesday nite anyway. besides, if u're staying in hall on a tuesday nite in the holidays, chances are u're not going to sleep til 3am.
So i continued watching.
Punctually, sullen uncle shows up at 2am and tells me i have to leave coz everything was supposed to be swtiched off at 2am. He adds that I shd hv been in my room from midnite coz all activities are to be stopped at 11.30pm, as written in the "standing orders". Of coz not in such proper english.
Really? Half amused, I remarked that this was a hall and not a military camp. He told me if i didn't believe it, i could go look at the notice board, where the "standing orders" were. As BoB was starting, i decided to sit down and enjoy the show. he asked me if i was yr 1. to shut him up i said yes, following which he told me to ask the yr 2s and 3s abt the standing orders, which apparently was something they knew very well. "you don't believe me ah, boy?" was something he repeated at least 3 times. u're rite, i don't. even if it was true, i don't care coz i know i'm not disturbing anyone.
Anyway, itried to appease him by telling him nicely my show will end at 2.15am, after which i would switch off everything. he told me something to the effect of i'd better do it, coz he could just switch off everything as he liked. that i hv no doubt, but most prob i wld just switch everything back on again. he ended his show of bravado by telling me the hall counsellor was a woman (dunno which he's talking abt, the head hall counsellor is a man btw) and would come and check. if she found the lights still on at 2am, she would give sullen uncle trouble. as he turned round, he added if he got into trouble, he would make sure i got into trouble.
Was that supposed to be a threat? now really amused, i smiled. he saw me smiling and got more dissatisfied. he came back to me asking me for my student card. i said i didn't hv it so he asked me for my room number. i gave him a bogus one and watched the rest of the show in peace. after the show, i went up not looking his way and closed my door, which has remained since.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of a sullen uncle dissatisfied with his mundane job and misguided by the fact he has some form of power, i'm just the sort of guy who avoids unnecessary confrontation. for his sake as well.
His position is already compromised coz he didn't enforce his "authority", "gave chance" in a grudging manner and threw up an empty threat. classic hallmarks of someone who trying to act that he has authority. i know; i've been there before.
Don't forget, this is hall... the security guards role is just that. to provide security for residents, and since they're there, switch off the lights. no authority over resident unless someone complains/pao tos. but if he did switch off my TV, i'd complain to the hall office. oh no, not abt the TV incident, but just casually remark this security guard doesn't seem too frenly... and i've never seen him walking on my corridor on patrol once. (this is true)
So if he does find me and realise i gave him a bogus room number and wants my student card? hahaha like i'll give it to him. it's my property, wat if he doesn't give it back? unnecessary inconvenience. nice try, but no. my name is written quite clearly on the door, he could use that. if he steps into my room to grab my card? that's trespassing. these security guards aren't allowed in our rooms unless campus security or hall office is with them. if he grabs me to get my card or my attention? that's criminal force isn't it? oh man. i am so evil. since young i've never liked authority unless i AM the authority. esp despise those who think they have some and bully others.
Brings to mind another incident in malaysia, the recent angsi trip. before the shopping ctr next to the bus interchange opened, we went and asked the old malay security guard if we could go in and wait for the breakfast stalls to open. he gave the green light and we all went in, heading for the toilets and sinks by the tables to wash up. some of us sat and chatted, while an indian security guard positioned by the toilets and lifts eyed us from time to time. i was the last to use the sinks by the tables, when he decided to show some authority.
He loudly asked me wat we were doing here. i explained nicely the guy up in front let us in. he then had an outburst shouting the guy was old and didn't know anything; that we were not allowed inside here; and we should not be doing any disgusting stuff at the sinks near the tables. well since he found brushing of teeth and washing of face disgusting, no way i was going near him. i turned and continued cleaning up in nonchalance, and this guy skulked back to by the toilets repeating that we were not allowed in there. of coz, we ignored him and he did nothing. did not enforce "authority", and "gave chance" in a grudging manner. he didn't bother us after that as well.
i guess they wanted to show some authority after being blatantly ignored... but the show of bravado just made it worse. even if the ignoring part wasn't on purpose before, now it was.
no i'm not finished... this brings to mind something else. not necessarily related.
It seems that we bloggers have a new bane... some chairman of some govt body has decided to take it upon himself to rid s'pore of irresponsible blogging. he has publicly announced something to the effect of using weapons of mass destruction on anyone who belittled his govt body or himself. that's y i'm being careful here... i do not want to fall victim to his signature finishing move, which incidently is the same of another guy with the same famous surname... but that guy i respect a lot. this guy? i dunno.
for some reason his name keeps popping up in cases when a govt body does something bad to some rich studying guy who has run away and/or made some noise. this guy has also publicly announced he thinks better of young foreigners and young local girls over young local guys. (to work in the orgn he heads lah, wat u thinking)
sure his orgn does good work for the country... but it gets kind of old to see his name popping up in controversial news reports. he makes himself the face of the orgn, like a civil service Trump. wat will happen when he leaves? but more imptly, why? is he chasing controversy to shine more light on his orgn? or on himself? or is he just enjoying hunting down rich studying guys? i dunno... u decide for urself. one thing's for sure, i dun wanna work in his orgn. scary.
i'm not trying to influence anyone, but come on, it's just a blog... some guy's ramblings. ppl with intelligence would see blogs as just an opinion, not necessarily an educated one. so take stuff with a pinch of salt, and lighten up.
note to self: no names! and continue laughing at jagas with high self-importance.
Monday, May 09, 2005
My (Hopefully) Last School Holidays!
Too tired, busy to play anything.
These holidays will be busy busy busy... just the way i like them. but of coz that means i will be here less often. just the 1st monday and i feel tired already. here's a rough guide to my next 3 months (for my reference as well):
9-15 May: FYP interim report / YEP Medic Course / YEP meetings (2) / Mothers' Day Dinner / Fren's Wedding Dinner.
16-22 May: FYP Interim report / YEP Meetings (4) / YEP Shopping for Med Supplies / YEP Children's Home Visit / Campus Interviews (not sure if going) / Dinner w best buddies
23-29 May: YEP Pre-Exp Camp / Moving out of Hall Officially / More YEP meetings forseen
30-31 May: YEP Final briefing / YEP Packing
1 -19 Jun: YEP programme proper
20 - 27 Jun: Getting lost in the wild in China! hopefully can go trekking (by myself?)
28 Jun - 1 Jul: Hanging out in Bangkok
2 - 20+ Jul: Doing FYP in SG
That's it.... got ppl come into my room tok cock and irritate me liao. gotta entertain her...
note to self: don't burn out!
These holidays will be busy busy busy... just the way i like them. but of coz that means i will be here less often. just the 1st monday and i feel tired already. here's a rough guide to my next 3 months (for my reference as well):
9-15 May: FYP interim report / YEP Medic Course / YEP meetings (2) / Mothers' Day Dinner / Fren's Wedding Dinner.
16-22 May: FYP Interim report / YEP Meetings (4) / YEP Shopping for Med Supplies / YEP Children's Home Visit / Campus Interviews (not sure if going) / Dinner w best buddies
23-29 May: YEP Pre-Exp Camp / Moving out of Hall Officially / More YEP meetings forseen
30-31 May: YEP Final briefing / YEP Packing
1 -19 Jun: YEP programme proper
20 - 27 Jun: Getting lost in the wild in China! hopefully can go trekking (by myself?)
28 Jun - 1 Jul: Hanging out in Bangkok
2 - 20+ Jul: Doing FYP in SG
That's it.... got ppl come into my room tok cock and irritate me liao. gotta entertain her...
note to self: don't burn out!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Last Man Standing
Currently Not Playing Anything.
Last exam for this sem in another 7 hrs... and i'm probably the only guy left... almost all my frens finished earlier than me... this wouldn't be so depressing if not for the nearly empty library (no chairs full of chinabags anymore!) and the empty canteen... at its peak i made up 16.67% of its entire population.
library..... almost empty
tutorial rooms... vacant
canteen in late afternoon... sparse
canteen at dinner.... quiet
canteen at midnite... empty
hall... now... silent
preparation for tml's paper.... unfinished
state of mind... finished
note to self: go to sleep.
Last exam for this sem in another 7 hrs... and i'm probably the only guy left... almost all my frens finished earlier than me... this wouldn't be so depressing if not for the nearly empty library (no chairs full of chinabags anymore!) and the empty canteen... at its peak i made up 16.67% of its entire population.
library..... almost empty
tutorial rooms... vacant
canteen in late afternoon... sparse
canteen at dinner.... quiet
canteen at midnite... empty
hall... now... silent
preparation for tml's paper.... unfinished
state of mind... finished
note to self: go to sleep.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
I am a Published Online Writer!
Currently Playing: Boondock Saints Theme by the Boondock Saints
My victory song! hahhah yes dear readers... you have not made the wrong choice by stumbling onto this blog... the author has had a piece of work published online! it is now entombed in cyberspace at a satirical, (very) Singaporean website as of 1st May 2005.
I am now a published writer!! WOOHOO!!! one small step towards my writing/phototaking/violin-playing/travelling/farm-boy/waiter/no-commitments dream!! WOOHOO!!!!!
*the audience groans in loathing at the estatic typer of a puny article bouncing around the room in glee*
OK OK... 1 hr after reading my work on the web, i have significantly calmed down (gleefully). true, it is just 1 puny article in a world of a gazillion trillion words... but to me, it is one of life's little accomplishments... like my 1st self-tied shoelaces(7yrs old), the 1st time i successfully used chopsticks(8yrs old), my 1st sports medal (15yrs old), the 1st time i washed my own clothes (20yrs old), the 1st (and only) time i cooked for my parents (21yrs old), etc etc....
Obviously, this blog is helping me with writing skills by providing me an avenue and an audience to practise. Therefore, my dear readers, you deserve some credit too. ok not that much, but still, some. well, here's to more to come, accomplishments large and small. cheers! (apple juice w aloe vera bits *glug glug glug*)
note to self: let this be one small, beginning step...
My victory song! hahhah yes dear readers... you have not made the wrong choice by stumbling onto this blog... the author has had a piece of work published online! it is now entombed in cyberspace at a satirical, (very) Singaporean website as of 1st May 2005.
I am now a published writer!! WOOHOO!!! one small step towards my writing/phototaking/violin-playing/travelling/farm-boy/waiter/no-commitments dream!! WOOHOO!!!!!
*the audience groans in loathing at the estatic typer of a puny article bouncing around the room in glee*
OK OK... 1 hr after reading my work on the web, i have significantly calmed down (gleefully). true, it is just 1 puny article in a world of a gazillion trillion words... but to me, it is one of life's little accomplishments... like my 1st self-tied shoelaces(7yrs old), the 1st time i successfully used chopsticks(8yrs old), my 1st sports medal (15yrs old), the 1st time i washed my own clothes (20yrs old), the 1st (and only) time i cooked for my parents (21yrs old), etc etc....
Obviously, this blog is helping me with writing skills by providing me an avenue and an audience to practise. Therefore, my dear readers, you deserve some credit too. ok not that much, but still, some. well, here's to more to come, accomplishments large and small. cheers! (apple juice w aloe vera bits *glug glug glug*)
note to self: let this be one small, beginning step...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Pet Peeves: Inconsiderate, Rude Chinamen
Currently Playing: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me by TISM
Inspiration for this entry: On my way back to study in school, just after 11.30pm, i passed a China couple, yakking away in mainlander mandarin so loudly i heard them long before i saw them.
As i crossed the road upfront, the bus rumbled past. the china couple broke into a run, and while passing me a spectacle case dropped from the chinaman's ridiculously wide-open bag. I picked it up, with an expressionless " excuse me, you dropped something."; and handed it to him with an equally deadpan "your bag is open." The prick takes back his case without a word and runs to the bus.
Come on man, even a fricking "xie xie" in ur mainlander mandarin would hv sufficed. I just saved you some trouble, and probably few hundred RMB in spec case and bribes back in your homeland. Not even a "thank you"? how ungrateful.
I'm not particularly affected by this incident, but it got me thinking: i encounter so many hundreds of chinamen in school... and not one of them has recently impressed me with polite, considerate behaviour, esp during exam period.
on normal days in normal conditions, they already irritate the hell out of me by speaking so, so loudly in normal everyday conditions. they speak as though their fren 0.2m away from them is 2m away and there's a train running between them. i am not adverse to noise, but not only would i like to hear myself think, the incessant chatter in loud mainlander mandarin likens to loud screeching - makes my skin crawl.
maybe it's alright in a crowded canteen, but imagine being stuck in a life with 2 chinamen shouting at each other: enclosed in 2m X 2m x 3m box with a speaker set at 80db screeching away. just inconsiderate. notice how we singaporeans (and some other developed cultures) do it? when we step into the lift with strangers, we lower our volume or stop talking completely. it's not to prevent eavesdropping, but more to show polite consideration to the other person; an acknowledgement that there's someone else in the space.
in the library during exam period, they show even more inconsiderate behaviour. i feel it's alright if u occupy one seat and ur bag occupies another: everyone needs personal space to move ard and place stuff. but these fricking chinamen place their stuff on one table and sit at another! i have already sat at these tables twice. both times the chinaman concerned ignores the table with his/her stuff completely, letting others looking for a seat hapless, thinking someone else occupies the seat. so while there is no extrinsic utility to the chinamen, they rather not let others have a decent place to study. maybe wat drives them is the hope that without a place to study, these other ppl would fail their exams and give them a higher grade?
also, you think chinamen shouting at each other in mainlander mandarin is bad enuff? wait til they WHISPER loudly rite in front of you in a largely quiet library. Extremely. Irritating. they push their voices higher but with no reduction in volume and rattle off in mainlander mandarin... likens to loud static in your headphones.
it's a long entry, i think i've said enuff for you guys to get the picture. there's lots more such annoying actions, and there's so, so many chinamen around. and there'll be more of them coming every year. but i'll stop here for today. i dunno how to solve this widepsread problem, besides telling these pricks off. you can bet i'm not going to any of those crowded, deafening, jostling, "developed" coastal cities in china anytime soon. probably never, with the noise i have to take in and the bribes i have to give out.
note to self: start telling these pricks off. but only when they're inconsiderate of rude, not just irritating. it's a fine line though......
Inspiration for this entry: On my way back to study in school, just after 11.30pm, i passed a China couple, yakking away in mainlander mandarin so loudly i heard them long before i saw them.
As i crossed the road upfront, the bus rumbled past. the china couple broke into a run, and while passing me a spectacle case dropped from the chinaman's ridiculously wide-open bag. I picked it up, with an expressionless " excuse me, you dropped something."; and handed it to him with an equally deadpan "your bag is open." The prick takes back his case without a word and runs to the bus.
Come on man, even a fricking "xie xie" in ur mainlander mandarin would hv sufficed. I just saved you some trouble, and probably few hundred RMB in spec case and bribes back in your homeland. Not even a "thank you"? how ungrateful.
I'm not particularly affected by this incident, but it got me thinking: i encounter so many hundreds of chinamen in school... and not one of them has recently impressed me with polite, considerate behaviour, esp during exam period.
on normal days in normal conditions, they already irritate the hell out of me by speaking so, so loudly in normal everyday conditions. they speak as though their fren 0.2m away from them is 2m away and there's a train running between them. i am not adverse to noise, but not only would i like to hear myself think, the incessant chatter in loud mainlander mandarin likens to loud screeching - makes my skin crawl.
maybe it's alright in a crowded canteen, but imagine being stuck in a life with 2 chinamen shouting at each other: enclosed in 2m X 2m x 3m box with a speaker set at 80db screeching away. just inconsiderate. notice how we singaporeans (and some other developed cultures) do it? when we step into the lift with strangers, we lower our volume or stop talking completely. it's not to prevent eavesdropping, but more to show polite consideration to the other person; an acknowledgement that there's someone else in the space.
in the library during exam period, they show even more inconsiderate behaviour. i feel it's alright if u occupy one seat and ur bag occupies another: everyone needs personal space to move ard and place stuff. but these fricking chinamen place their stuff on one table and sit at another! i have already sat at these tables twice. both times the chinaman concerned ignores the table with his/her stuff completely, letting others looking for a seat hapless, thinking someone else occupies the seat. so while there is no extrinsic utility to the chinamen, they rather not let others have a decent place to study. maybe wat drives them is the hope that without a place to study, these other ppl would fail their exams and give them a higher grade?
also, you think chinamen shouting at each other in mainlander mandarin is bad enuff? wait til they WHISPER loudly rite in front of you in a largely quiet library. Extremely. Irritating. they push their voices higher but with no reduction in volume and rattle off in mainlander mandarin... likens to loud static in your headphones.
it's a long entry, i think i've said enuff for you guys to get the picture. there's lots more such annoying actions, and there's so, so many chinamen around. and there'll be more of them coming every year. but i'll stop here for today. i dunno how to solve this widepsread problem, besides telling these pricks off. you can bet i'm not going to any of those crowded, deafening, jostling, "developed" coastal cities in china anytime soon. probably never, with the noise i have to take in and the bribes i have to give out.
note to self: start telling these pricks off. but only when they're inconsiderate of rude, not just irritating. it's a fine line though......
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Moving Out Soon
Currently Playing: Turning Japanese by Presidents of the United States of America
Will have to move out of hostel soon.
after 4 years in the same old (older than me) block of stuffy, warm, smelly rooms... it kinda grows on you. and not just the smell. after walking to the same stinky toilet for so long, i'm bound to sort of miss it when i no longer have the kind of freedom i do now.
sure, i like home... but in hall there's no one nagging at me to sleep, no one to worry abt if i switch on toilet lights or play music loudly (no complaints from here yet). I stock my fridge with my fav foods and leave the place filthy until i realise it is. kind of like a bachelor pad... but probably neater than most.
but the issue weighing most on my mind is the moving. having just moved house, i know there's a lot of junk to pack, to throw and to carry back home. then at home i gotta settle where to put all this junk. for certain, i'm going to give away most of my ntu t-shirts (some brand new, never worn coz i HATE black or red shirts.. too hot), probably to salvation army or some disaster services centre, and leaving my free FHMs in the lounge where horny neighbours can get them. but i still got so much stuff... my fridge, this computer i'm whacking away at, the clothes that i want, my bed items, my hamsters, a friend's bike which i disasterously rode last yr (2nd entry in this blog) and lots and lots of papers, stationery and books. amazing how much junk i have squirreled away after 4 yrs.
speaking of which... i have a terrible confession to make. even though i myself narrowly escaped the terrible asian tsunami by a last min change of travel plans, i failed to contribute anything to help. partly my fault because i procrastinated, but when i was all set to contribute my (brand new) t-shirts to the agencies, they had chosen to close their doors on that same day! well at least later i bought medicine for NTU WSC to bring over...
anyway i digress. who's got a lorry and professional movers to spare?
note to self: start throwing away junk! esp those usually empty chicken essence bottles... old, old food... never-been-used free gifts....
Will have to move out of hostel soon.
after 4 years in the same old (older than me) block of stuffy, warm, smelly rooms... it kinda grows on you. and not just the smell. after walking to the same stinky toilet for so long, i'm bound to sort of miss it when i no longer have the kind of freedom i do now.
sure, i like home... but in hall there's no one nagging at me to sleep, no one to worry abt if i switch on toilet lights or play music loudly (no complaints from here yet). I stock my fridge with my fav foods and leave the place filthy until i realise it is. kind of like a bachelor pad... but probably neater than most.
but the issue weighing most on my mind is the moving. having just moved house, i know there's a lot of junk to pack, to throw and to carry back home. then at home i gotta settle where to put all this junk. for certain, i'm going to give away most of my ntu t-shirts (some brand new, never worn coz i HATE black or red shirts.. too hot), probably to salvation army or some disaster services centre, and leaving my free FHMs in the lounge where horny neighbours can get them. but i still got so much stuff... my fridge, this computer i'm whacking away at, the clothes that i want, my bed items, my hamsters, a friend's bike which i disasterously rode last yr (2nd entry in this blog) and lots and lots of papers, stationery and books. amazing how much junk i have squirreled away after 4 yrs.
speaking of which... i have a terrible confession to make. even though i myself narrowly escaped the terrible asian tsunami by a last min change of travel plans, i failed to contribute anything to help. partly my fault because i procrastinated, but when i was all set to contribute my (brand new) t-shirts to the agencies, they had chosen to close their doors on that same day! well at least later i bought medicine for NTU WSC to bring over...
anyway i digress. who's got a lorry and professional movers to spare?
note to self: start throwing away junk! esp those usually empty chicken essence bottles... old, old food... never-been-used free gifts....
Monday, April 18, 2005
When I Grow Up...
Currently Playing: Elevation by U2
just a quick entry, in midst of exams. one this morning, one tml morning.
stumbled upon someone's personal blog just now. a former air stewardess, former newspaper journalist, also a scropio, has own website, looks chio, intellectual, and only 28 yrs old!
got me thinking. Who do I really want to be?
I guess rite now my dream job would be a freelance travel photojournalist who gets by selling great photos and travel (humour?) articles to magazines and newspapers, while moonlighting at nite as a violin-playing busker; using the money earned to further travel, ending it all with a book abt my travels. For extra cash I could do small jobs on a farm or as a waiter, etc...
Wonderfully romantic isn't it? unfortunately that wld mean i'd hv to be commitment free... which unfortunately am not. too attached to family. plus my photo taking and writing skills aren't that great, plus i dunno how to play violin.
coz all my life i've been busy pursuing quick gratification... playing when i want to play, eating when i want to eat, etc. of course studies get in the way somewhat as well. a quarter of a century wasted just liddat...
ok i HAVE grown as a person. maybe now is the time to spread my wings and take flight. hahha sounds corny. but everyone's going to get a office job, earn money, etc. do i want that? wat abt my dreams?
oh well... maybe an office job isn't so bad. i could work hard and learn enuff experience to venture out on my own, be wildly rich and successful after working my butt off. in my old age i'd sell my shares, take the money and go travel round the world taking photos and writing down my experiences, maybe entertain myself and locals with a bit of violin playing. hey that sounds familiar...
Note to Self: Who do I Want to Be?
just a quick entry, in midst of exams. one this morning, one tml morning.
stumbled upon someone's personal blog just now. a former air stewardess, former newspaper journalist, also a scropio, has own website, looks chio, intellectual, and only 28 yrs old!
got me thinking. Who do I really want to be?
I guess rite now my dream job would be a freelance travel photojournalist who gets by selling great photos and travel (humour?) articles to magazines and newspapers, while moonlighting at nite as a violin-playing busker; using the money earned to further travel, ending it all with a book abt my travels. For extra cash I could do small jobs on a farm or as a waiter, etc...
Wonderfully romantic isn't it? unfortunately that wld mean i'd hv to be commitment free... which unfortunately am not. too attached to family. plus my photo taking and writing skills aren't that great, plus i dunno how to play violin.
coz all my life i've been busy pursuing quick gratification... playing when i want to play, eating when i want to eat, etc. of course studies get in the way somewhat as well. a quarter of a century wasted just liddat...
ok i HAVE grown as a person. maybe now is the time to spread my wings and take flight. hahha sounds corny. but everyone's going to get a office job, earn money, etc. do i want that? wat abt my dreams?
oh well... maybe an office job isn't so bad. i could work hard and learn enuff experience to venture out on my own, be wildly rich and successful after working my butt off. in my old age i'd sell my shares, take the money and go travel round the world taking photos and writing down my experiences, maybe entertain myself and locals with a bit of violin playing. hey that sounds familiar...
Note to Self: Who do I Want to Be?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Excuses for Lousy Writing
Currently Playing: Vertigo by U2
Anyway, dear readers, if you're thinking the standard of my entries has been declining... my sincere apologies. My exams are starting this friday until 4th May... so nowadays if i add an entry it's quite late at night and i'm tired from studying. tired brains dun really write well even if there's something to say... so i rather not write yet. but stay tuned. coming up, if i have the energy:
1) What's "Uniquely Singapore"? Our Language lah! Ahberthen?
2) Not Another Call-In-&-Win Charity Show again!
Anyway, dear readers, if you're thinking the standard of my entries has been declining... my sincere apologies. My exams are starting this friday until 4th May... so nowadays if i add an entry it's quite late at night and i'm tired from studying. tired brains dun really write well even if there's something to say... so i rather not write yet. but stay tuned. coming up, if i have the energy:
1) What's "Uniquely Singapore"? Our Language lah! Ahberthen?
2) Not Another Call-In-&-Win Charity Show again!
Clumsy Oaf Gets An Interview
Currently Playing: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
Yup... so old liao still as clumsy as ever. Last nite wanted to make myself a cup of milo but didn't grip the glass jar of condensed milk hard enuff... it slipped out of my weak right hand and crashed onto the floor... with 3/4 a jar of condensed milk cushioning the glass shards. i was PISSED!! at myself of coz. stood there staring dumbfounded at my handiwork for abt 5-10 secs. Mum tried to help... but i decided to get out of that state and drink my milo i wanted so badly 1st.
but dunno whether it was the lack of milk and milo or psychological... the milo was tasteless. i poured most of it away and proceeded to clear up my mess. Mum tried to help by telling me wat to do and taking the 1st steps coz i was at a pissed loss... kept pissedly asking "now do wat?" eventually i cleared up most of it... Mum helped somewhat... went to bed feeling hungry and guilty after that... guilty abt breaking the glass jar, and guilty abt showing Mum pissed behaviour. she knows it's not directed at her, but all the same she doesn't like it. and i know i shdn't be liddat... just can't control emotions most of the time.
well anyway at least the day wasn't so bad. besides some pleasant company over lunch, had a call from a company wanting to interview me for management trainee position. YES!!! bad thing is it's on fridae, when i hv a paper... oh well at least it's after the paper, in the afternoon, and they actually want to interview me!! yes... one step closer to a job.
You might ask "get job very big meh?" well it definitely beats studying here!! and anyway study for wat? get degree lah, but get degree for wat? get job lah!! so before my degree course ends already ppl want me, what does that say?? ;-) somemore, my results are crap...
note to self: more self control, and prepare for the interview!
Yup... so old liao still as clumsy as ever. Last nite wanted to make myself a cup of milo but didn't grip the glass jar of condensed milk hard enuff... it slipped out of my weak right hand and crashed onto the floor... with 3/4 a jar of condensed milk cushioning the glass shards. i was PISSED!! at myself of coz. stood there staring dumbfounded at my handiwork for abt 5-10 secs. Mum tried to help... but i decided to get out of that state and drink my milo i wanted so badly 1st.
but dunno whether it was the lack of milk and milo or psychological... the milo was tasteless. i poured most of it away and proceeded to clear up my mess. Mum tried to help by telling me wat to do and taking the 1st steps coz i was at a pissed loss... kept pissedly asking "now do wat?" eventually i cleared up most of it... Mum helped somewhat... went to bed feeling hungry and guilty after that... guilty abt breaking the glass jar, and guilty abt showing Mum pissed behaviour. she knows it's not directed at her, but all the same she doesn't like it. and i know i shdn't be liddat... just can't control emotions most of the time.
well anyway at least the day wasn't so bad. besides some pleasant company over lunch, had a call from a company wanting to interview me for management trainee position. YES!!! bad thing is it's on fridae, when i hv a paper... oh well at least it's after the paper, in the afternoon, and they actually want to interview me!! yes... one step closer to a job.
You might ask "get job very big meh?" well it definitely beats studying here!! and anyway study for wat? get degree lah, but get degree for wat? get job lah!! so before my degree course ends already ppl want me, what does that say?? ;-) somemore, my results are crap...
note to self: more self control, and prepare for the interview!
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Taking Responsibility
Currently Blasting: Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me by U2
What is it abt me that make me always kena done a wrong by ppl who are totally unaffected by their actions?
todae, the 1st time i attend 460 lecture, some guy has to walk over and spill my cup of hot coffee all over my pants. i wasn't harmed in any way, but my pants were totally soaked in brown liquid. not a sight i wld want to move around in. so i let off a "cheebye" loud enuff for most of the LT to hear. all the guy could do is apologise and offer me 1/2 a pkt of tissue to clean, wat, 3/4 a cup of coffee? oh pls. then he went back into his seat (right in front of me) and proceeded happily with the lecture WITHOUT TURNING ROUND ONCE to check if i was ok, during which all the while i'm wondering wat to do out loud to my fren next to me. i solved the problem by getting ZZ to get my keys and going back to my room to take extra pants. when he delivered i went to toilet to change and came back just in time for the lect to end. and that irresponsible bastard just walked off after looking at the mess on the chair n floor.
let's summarise. bastard spills coffee, ZZ uses 20 mins to get my stuff, i spend 2 hrs cleaning up, washing my clothes, and lost a cup of good coffee while all the while i cld be studying. and now my mood's spoiled thanx to the bastard.
wait a minute... u mean he gets off SCOT FREE after his clumsy ass starts off this chain of events? absolutely rite! fucker! and he didn't hv the sense of responsibility to ask if there was anything he cld do to remedy this situation. just sat happily thru out the lecture and left. bastard!
i'm not faulting him for knocking my coffee over; could happen to anyone. wat pisses me off is he didn't bother to do anything more than offer me a pkt of tissue. after that conveniently ignore me. fucked up upbringing! look, if you did someone a wrong, do wat you can to make it rite! a good example in this case is skipping the lecture to get me a pair of pants. instead, my brudder had to remedy ur clumsy ass actions. think abt the bloody consequences of ur actions u ass!
i earlier said i always kena? yup, i lost my specs to someone supposed to hold it for me during games at the beach, after he claimed he wasn't going into the water. of coz he did... then when searching for my specs in the water he was the one at the shallowest end... dun think he even got his feet wet. later when i asked him straight up whether he was going to pay he said yes. then back from ordering the specs, i had to use my sports goggles (only abt 80% power) to eat, etc.. while he just sat one corner and avoided me the rest of the nite.
he didn't pay full amt but that's ok. i'm not even faulting him for losing my specs since he came out with $200. wat he shd hv done more is to show more effort in looking for something he lost. and making sure i'm ok wearing dark 80% power goggles at nite.
look... when u do someone a wrong, take responsibility: do remedy actions and make sure the person is ok. do so few ppl in the world realise simple responsibility? after these incidents hv happened to me, you can be sure that i'll do the right thing if i do someone a wrong. but this also means the next time someone does me a wrong and refuse to take proper responsibility, i not going to hold my tongue anymore. Watch Out!
note to self: make rite wat i do wrong; do the rite thing when wronged, and lash out.
What is it abt me that make me always kena done a wrong by ppl who are totally unaffected by their actions?
todae, the 1st time i attend 460 lecture, some guy has to walk over and spill my cup of hot coffee all over my pants. i wasn't harmed in any way, but my pants were totally soaked in brown liquid. not a sight i wld want to move around in. so i let off a "cheebye" loud enuff for most of the LT to hear. all the guy could do is apologise and offer me 1/2 a pkt of tissue to clean, wat, 3/4 a cup of coffee? oh pls. then he went back into his seat (right in front of me) and proceeded happily with the lecture WITHOUT TURNING ROUND ONCE to check if i was ok, during which all the while i'm wondering wat to do out loud to my fren next to me. i solved the problem by getting ZZ to get my keys and going back to my room to take extra pants. when he delivered i went to toilet to change and came back just in time for the lect to end. and that irresponsible bastard just walked off after looking at the mess on the chair n floor.
let's summarise. bastard spills coffee, ZZ uses 20 mins to get my stuff, i spend 2 hrs cleaning up, washing my clothes, and lost a cup of good coffee while all the while i cld be studying. and now my mood's spoiled thanx to the bastard.
wait a minute... u mean he gets off SCOT FREE after his clumsy ass starts off this chain of events? absolutely rite! fucker! and he didn't hv the sense of responsibility to ask if there was anything he cld do to remedy this situation. just sat happily thru out the lecture and left. bastard!
i'm not faulting him for knocking my coffee over; could happen to anyone. wat pisses me off is he didn't bother to do anything more than offer me a pkt of tissue. after that conveniently ignore me. fucked up upbringing! look, if you did someone a wrong, do wat you can to make it rite! a good example in this case is skipping the lecture to get me a pair of pants. instead, my brudder had to remedy ur clumsy ass actions. think abt the bloody consequences of ur actions u ass!
i earlier said i always kena? yup, i lost my specs to someone supposed to hold it for me during games at the beach, after he claimed he wasn't going into the water. of coz he did... then when searching for my specs in the water he was the one at the shallowest end... dun think he even got his feet wet. later when i asked him straight up whether he was going to pay he said yes. then back from ordering the specs, i had to use my sports goggles (only abt 80% power) to eat, etc.. while he just sat one corner and avoided me the rest of the nite.
he didn't pay full amt but that's ok. i'm not even faulting him for losing my specs since he came out with $200. wat he shd hv done more is to show more effort in looking for something he lost. and making sure i'm ok wearing dark 80% power goggles at nite.
look... when u do someone a wrong, take responsibility: do remedy actions and make sure the person is ok. do so few ppl in the world realise simple responsibility? after these incidents hv happened to me, you can be sure that i'll do the right thing if i do someone a wrong. but this also means the next time someone does me a wrong and refuse to take proper responsibility, i not going to hold my tongue anymore. Watch Out!
note to self: make rite wat i do wrong; do the rite thing when wronged, and lash out.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Growing Old
Currently Playing: Love Me Do by The Beatles
hahah! how ironic playing such an old song with this topic. well can see a trend rite... i write a lot when i feel inspired and disappear before coming back again. infrequent ramblings.
yup... as much as i hate to admit it, i'm growing old. and fat. my body not only doesn't recover as fast, doesn't react as well to exercise anymore. it's not an excuse. i still know i have to exercise... but i've been busy...
busy with exams of coz. gotta try clear every subject this time round... so at least next sem not so siong. and i wanna faster get out of here! sorry state that i'm staying here longer than my frens when i dislike it more than them. of coz that's part of the reason too...
and to make things slightly worse, i got a toothache! my last one was... 10 yrs ago? hahah darn... i HAVE been brushing... dunno y. oh well let's just wait and see if it goes away...
problems... problems... problems... this blog of mine is starting to whine. hopefully my brain gets better at writing. maybe after the exams. tired... better sleep.
note to self: stop whining and do something abt my fitness! and write better!
hahah! how ironic playing such an old song with this topic. well can see a trend rite... i write a lot when i feel inspired and disappear before coming back again. infrequent ramblings.
yup... as much as i hate to admit it, i'm growing old. and fat. my body not only doesn't recover as fast, doesn't react as well to exercise anymore. it's not an excuse. i still know i have to exercise... but i've been busy...
busy with exams of coz. gotta try clear every subject this time round... so at least next sem not so siong. and i wanna faster get out of here! sorry state that i'm staying here longer than my frens when i dislike it more than them. of coz that's part of the reason too...
and to make things slightly worse, i got a toothache! my last one was... 10 yrs ago? hahah darn... i HAVE been brushing... dunno y. oh well let's just wait and see if it goes away...
problems... problems... problems... this blog of mine is starting to whine. hopefully my brain gets better at writing. maybe after the exams. tired... better sleep.
note to self: stop whining and do something abt my fitness! and write better!
Being Practical
Currently Playing: Don't Get Me Wrong by The Pretenders
This song has been on my mind for a year! the lyrics say it all... nice. wat i usually kena.
anyway... got really disappointed with ntu undergrads todae. Our 2nd last HRM lecture with FOO CT and halfway thru he said since there's not much time left he shall do evaluation (ie. letting students fill up feedback & evaluation forms) the LT started buzzing and next thing u know, ppl are packing up and leaving even before the forms reach them at the top! WTF! come on, give the man some respect! he's not a wonderful lecturer but as least he's not horrible like some chinamen... plus he means well in his material. fricking idiots! dunno wat's proper behaviour.
just shows the failure of the upbringing, education of these ppl. already at least 21yrs, still dunno when the give respect when due. too practical... yes, that evaluation form doesn't mean a thing to u, but it does to this guy who has been trying to convey outside world knowledge to us! so much for altruistic inclinations. so many ard me are just plain practical and mercenary. sigh.
well ok, i dun mean to claim i'm never practical and mercenary, but i'm that to the ppl that deserve such behaviour... am i being too critical of others? maybe. well at least when the forms weren't coming, ZZ & i went down to ask for extra forms and filled them up in front of him.
note to self: be less critical, less judging, and above all, nicer to everyone. hope i can carry it out.
This song has been on my mind for a year! the lyrics say it all... nice. wat i usually kena.
anyway... got really disappointed with ntu undergrads todae. Our 2nd last HRM lecture with FOO CT and halfway thru he said since there's not much time left he shall do evaluation (ie. letting students fill up feedback & evaluation forms) the LT started buzzing and next thing u know, ppl are packing up and leaving even before the forms reach them at the top! WTF! come on, give the man some respect! he's not a wonderful lecturer but as least he's not horrible like some chinamen... plus he means well in his material. fricking idiots! dunno wat's proper behaviour.
just shows the failure of the upbringing, education of these ppl. already at least 21yrs, still dunno when the give respect when due. too practical... yes, that evaluation form doesn't mean a thing to u, but it does to this guy who has been trying to convey outside world knowledge to us! so much for altruistic inclinations. so many ard me are just plain practical and mercenary. sigh.
well ok, i dun mean to claim i'm never practical and mercenary, but i'm that to the ppl that deserve such behaviour... am i being too critical of others? maybe. well at least when the forms weren't coming, ZZ & i went down to ask for extra forms and filled them up in front of him.
note to self: be less critical, less judging, and above all, nicer to everyone. hope i can carry it out.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Roles & Age
Just came back from Gunung Angsi (825m) on Good Friday, 25th March. Took a midnite bus from Larkin on Thurs nite, reached Seremban 4+am. Took bus and started trekking at abt 9am, reached summit 1230pm, reached the exit at 3+pm. Took buses, had supper at JB and returned to SG after midnite.
I digress... from this trek, i realise more about myself. I had a long break from trekking, Jan '04 to Feb '05, and this was my 2nd trek after revival. Even more memorable than my 1st leech in 2 yrs, instead of being the sociable leader i can be, i laid back and kept to myself a bit.
i didn't need to be a leader, ZZ was there to lead; QZ, CS, etc to assist. the party was 17 - usually i'm the odd one out. all bus rides i sat alone, but i didn't mind. i like to hv time to myself to think and let my mind wander. but that wld usually set the mood for the entire trip. i subconsciously became laid back, aloof, less willing to talk and help, and generally kept to myself and listened to others (which is rare) basically being a participant thru and thru.
but that didn't really take effort... maybe that's my true self. i CAN be sociable, i CAN be the entertainer and i CAN take up leadership; i also CAN be the supporting role and assist, but when others can and willingly take up these positions, i step back and let them handle it unless they are THAT incompetent.
So it seems i am capable of different roles, it's just whether others can fill the roles needed or i put in the effort. of coz if i'm tasked and responsible for holding that role, i slip into it effortlessly. but given a choice, i look at people dynamics 1st. good or bad? i'm not sure, but being versatile nv hurt anyone ;-)
but also... the trek made me realise i've aged... i don't recover as fast, my fitness levels are not as high as before, i need more sleep, and i dun look like i'm in shape even though i've been exercising every week. 1/4 of a century old and i'm feeling the effects. kind of bummed... until now it was always on the up... the decline is dismaying. i'm too young to be getting old.
note to self: exercise more regularly, and enjoy the things i like to do before i'm too old to do so. i'm starting to already.
I digress... from this trek, i realise more about myself. I had a long break from trekking, Jan '04 to Feb '05, and this was my 2nd trek after revival. Even more memorable than my 1st leech in 2 yrs, instead of being the sociable leader i can be, i laid back and kept to myself a bit.
i didn't need to be a leader, ZZ was there to lead; QZ, CS, etc to assist. the party was 17 - usually i'm the odd one out. all bus rides i sat alone, but i didn't mind. i like to hv time to myself to think and let my mind wander. but that wld usually set the mood for the entire trip. i subconsciously became laid back, aloof, less willing to talk and help, and generally kept to myself and listened to others (which is rare) basically being a participant thru and thru.
but that didn't really take effort... maybe that's my true self. i CAN be sociable, i CAN be the entertainer and i CAN take up leadership; i also CAN be the supporting role and assist, but when others can and willingly take up these positions, i step back and let them handle it unless they are THAT incompetent.
So it seems i am capable of different roles, it's just whether others can fill the roles needed or i put in the effort. of coz if i'm tasked and responsible for holding that role, i slip into it effortlessly. but given a choice, i look at people dynamics 1st. good or bad? i'm not sure, but being versatile nv hurt anyone ;-)
but also... the trek made me realise i've aged... i don't recover as fast, my fitness levels are not as high as before, i need more sleep, and i dun look like i'm in shape even though i've been exercising every week. 1/4 of a century old and i'm feeling the effects. kind of bummed... until now it was always on the up... the decline is dismaying. i'm too young to be getting old.
note to self: exercise more regularly, and enjoy the things i like to do before i'm too old to do so. i'm starting to already.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
How Apt
haha.. how apt.. just realised todae is the birthday of a girl i had a major crush on in JC.. lasted 2 yrs, and she wasn't really chio anyway... she shd be working by now... wonder how she's doing.
yah rite. u think i care? hahahha i dun bother liao lah! once i decide put down something, i won't pick it up again. its a matter of pride and principle.
note to self: sleep after this post.
yah rite. u think i care? hahahha i dun bother liao lah! once i decide put down something, i won't pick it up again. its a matter of pride and principle.
note to self: sleep after this post.
Good Start to a Bad Day
supposed to be sleeping 45 mins ago... gotta wake up do fyp tml morning. but been busy packing for angsi tml and settling emails, smses and msns....
bad day? u bet. had a quiz in the morning which i knew little abt. the good start was i miraclously managed to pass by guessing MCQs. then ambitiously went to the graphics lab, but cldn't get anything done. after lunch still couldn't get my brain to start up... went back hall and crashed til 5pm. whole day gone just liddat... didn't do fyp either. at least the evening was ok... went to hall4 do m460... watched amazing race and nuah...
u know, friendster is such a useful tool... hahha just found out that yet another cute girl that's caught my eye is already attached! how sianz. looks like every girl worth getting attached already is. so wat does that leave me with? a big fat girl who wears the same dress every other day? hahahahh (some of u might know i'm referring to)
sigh... so how? try how hard also always knock head-1st into wall.
yah, sometimes i do like being alone. i like to explore alone... work alone... think alone. but when i stumble upon wonderful sights when exploring... how i wish i had someone in my arms to share them with. at least u know someone's loving u when u're away.
liverpool's motto doesn't hold true in my world. oh well, tml going angsi liao. (wee ee ee ee ee ee ee wee ummm wumm bo way.... in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonite....)
bad day? u bet. had a quiz in the morning which i knew little abt. the good start was i miraclously managed to pass by guessing MCQs. then ambitiously went to the graphics lab, but cldn't get anything done. after lunch still couldn't get my brain to start up... went back hall and crashed til 5pm. whole day gone just liddat... didn't do fyp either. at least the evening was ok... went to hall4 do m460... watched amazing race and nuah...
u know, friendster is such a useful tool... hahha just found out that yet another cute girl that's caught my eye is already attached! how sianz. looks like every girl worth getting attached already is. so wat does that leave me with? a big fat girl who wears the same dress every other day? hahahahh (some of u might know i'm referring to)
sigh... so how? try how hard also always knock head-1st into wall.
yah, sometimes i do like being alone. i like to explore alone... work alone... think alone. but when i stumble upon wonderful sights when exploring... how i wish i had someone in my arms to share them with. at least u know someone's loving u when u're away.
liverpool's motto doesn't hold true in my world. oh well, tml going angsi liao. (wee ee ee ee ee ee ee wee ummm wumm bo way.... in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonite....)
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Churches
ok ok last blog of the day. getting tired. yes, me too. just lemme write this down coz i feel inspired. hopefully this won't be my last post for a long time....... hopefully i'll come back. haha.
churches! well not really churches but christian grps. my best buddy VJ just came back from a mission trip to laos or vietnam a few wks ago. he took some nice pics with my camera... and he told me abt the trip, saying he and his mission frens cldn't preach coz the commie police were watching them all the time... so they cld only give pencils and balloons and etc to the village kids.
WOAH! hold the phone! u're preaching christianity to improvished, culturally drained communities?? WTF are u doing?!?!? these ppls have oready lost some of their cultural heritage due to communist oppression, and u wanna impose a new culture on them erasing wat little they hv?? WTF is wrong with u ppl???? if u wanna help u shd help restore their own culture!
if these idiots had their way... everyone wld be the same, hv the same culture, sing the same hymns, praise the same god, say the same churchy stuff... another form of globalisation! the mcdonald's of religon! come to think of it... a bit like communism also... want everyone to be homogeneous and believe the same things. oppressing other beliefs, other cultures. that's wat pisses me off abt christians. always wanna impose their beliefs on others. true, there are many who aren't liddat. many respect others. but i've met too many idiots trying to tell me abt bible and stuff against my own will, and lets face it... no other religion imposes itself on non-believers. well... radical islam does kill innocent ppl, but let's talk abt mainstream here. u dun see buddhist monks telling sikhs to shave their heads do u? or vice versa?
u know wat's best? VJ's church is sending another mission team to NEPAL! the fricking seat of buddhism, and u wanna talk abt jesus?? that's PLAIN RUDE. buddha oughta give u guys a slap using Ru Lai Shen Zhang man!! heng VJ is smart enuff not to join them. how wld the isrealis feel if dalai lama sends a team to try to convert them to buddhism...
so STOP ur evanglist activities!! stop being oppressive and plain annoying. (sorry bro... but it's something i feel strongly abt)
note to self: next time someone tries to convert me to christianity, i'll try to convert him to taoism and tell him all abt monkey god
churches! well not really churches but christian grps. my best buddy VJ just came back from a mission trip to laos or vietnam a few wks ago. he took some nice pics with my camera... and he told me abt the trip, saying he and his mission frens cldn't preach coz the commie police were watching them all the time... so they cld only give pencils and balloons and etc to the village kids.
WOAH! hold the phone! u're preaching christianity to improvished, culturally drained communities?? WTF are u doing?!?!? these ppls have oready lost some of their cultural heritage due to communist oppression, and u wanna impose a new culture on them erasing wat little they hv?? WTF is wrong with u ppl???? if u wanna help u shd help restore their own culture!
if these idiots had their way... everyone wld be the same, hv the same culture, sing the same hymns, praise the same god, say the same churchy stuff... another form of globalisation! the mcdonald's of religon! come to think of it... a bit like communism also... want everyone to be homogeneous and believe the same things. oppressing other beliefs, other cultures. that's wat pisses me off abt christians. always wanna impose their beliefs on others. true, there are many who aren't liddat. many respect others. but i've met too many idiots trying to tell me abt bible and stuff against my own will, and lets face it... no other religion imposes itself on non-believers. well... radical islam does kill innocent ppl, but let's talk abt mainstream here. u dun see buddhist monks telling sikhs to shave their heads do u? or vice versa?
u know wat's best? VJ's church is sending another mission team to NEPAL! the fricking seat of buddhism, and u wanna talk abt jesus?? that's PLAIN RUDE. buddha oughta give u guys a slap using Ru Lai Shen Zhang man!! heng VJ is smart enuff not to join them. how wld the isrealis feel if dalai lama sends a team to try to convert them to buddhism...
so STOP ur evanglist activities!! stop being oppressive and plain annoying. (sorry bro... but it's something i feel strongly abt)
note to self: next time someone tries to convert me to christianity, i'll try to convert him to taoism and tell him all abt monkey god
